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Soon 2B Mom of 2 2 kids; North Highlands, California 3785 posts
29th Nov '12
Quoting Mama to William + 1:" Well if he went to the interviews and didn't get hired he can't do more than that unless he intentionally screwed them up."


All you have to do to screw up an interveiw is show them you dont really want the job or just not try. I'm sure they could tell he didnt really want the job, so they gave it to someone who did.

Goodbye BG. Alabama 135 posts
29th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):</b>" Okay but this isn't about whether or not her kid needs her last name for insurance purposes. I think ... [snip!] ... years before they'd let me change his last name. :S It's easier to change it to your married name if you marry this dude later."</blockquote>




That's how I feel and also what my mom has said. I just never wanted to believe it ya know.): it's so hard. I see him being very hateful and angry if we don't stay together... I don't even want child support from his ass. I just don't want him being able to take our daughter to where he lives now.. /:<

*B & D Mommy* Due January 19; 2 kids; Illinois 16128 posts
status 29th Nov '12
Quoting xONikki:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):</b>" Okay but this isn't about whether ... [snip!] ... even want child support from his ass. I just don't want him being able to take our daughter to where he lives now.. /:<"


There is absolutely nothing you can do about that.

Lotusmama Due March 31; British Columbia 1672 posts
29th Nov '12
Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" Okay but this isn't about whether or not her kid needs her last name for insurance purposes. I think ... [snip!] ... years before they'd let me change his last name. :S It's easier to change it to your married name if you marry this dude later."


YES!!!!

Goodbye BG. Alabama 135 posts
29th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Soon 2B Mom of 2:</b>" All you have to do to screw up an interveiw is show them you dont really want the job or just not try. I'm sure they could tell he didnt really want the job, so they gave it to someone who did."</blockquote>




Yes, he also said he doesn't want to come off as desperate to a job by stating he's 20 BUT he does have a family to support. He thinks that's desperate. ):< I put up with this and tried to be there for him and sometimes I did argue and tell him he is desperate at this point and he needs to put everything aside and get a good job and do whatever it takes...

Mom2William&Michael 2 kids; 1 angel baby; New York 7600 posts
29th Nov '12
Quoting *B & D Mommy*:" There is absolutely nothing you can do about that. "


:!: He's just as much the parent as you. Court's aren't going to stop him from that unless there's a very good reason. And not having his last name won't matter at all.

Goodbye BG. Alabama 135 posts
29th Nov '12

I just really was wanting to avoid a broken family... ): it seems like that's what it's boiling down to. This baby is coming and all I'm thinking about it what's going to happen as soon as she comes out. I should be happy and ready and now I'm scared to have her because everything is going to break out when she does make her way!

Lotusmama Due March 31; British Columbia 1672 posts
29th Nov '12
Quoting xONikki:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Lotusmama:</b>" ---if you like it then you shoulda put a ring ... [snip!] ... for awhile. Yes I live with my parents, which he's also angry with me about not moving out to his friends house with him. -.-"


If he is a real man he will move into your parents house until he can afford to support you. And he will be humble and grateful to them for taking care of his baby by putting a roof over your head and should be kissing their asses!

I agree with Blair Waldorf that he sounds like a flake who has no intention of actually being a real man. Listen to your instincts and ask yourself if he is really going to be a good father and husband one day or if it is better for you to move on now and start your new life with baby without any weird baggage.

Goodbye BG. Alabama 135 posts
29th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama to William + 1:</b>" :!: He's just as much the parent as you. Court's aren't going to stop him from that unless there's a very good reason. And not having his last name won't matter at all."</blockquote>




Yes I know ): just scary. I don't mind him having her or being here with her but where he lives scares me! There is a good reason for her not to be there it was in another post but I don't feel totally right about putting it out here. Just scares me. I didn't want anything other than a happy freakin family. That's not happening though.

Drunk Blair Waldorf 2 kids; Alpharetta, Georgia 19208 posts
29th Nov '12
Quoting *Mommy for life*:"Its easy to change it here 95$. They post it in the paper, if noone contests it then it gets changed. If someone does you have to see a judge but he sides with custodial parent 95% of the time even if the father/mother is around. "


It's almost $300 here to change the name and you either serve the father with papers stating you want the name changed or you claim you can't find the father and they post it in the paper. BUT once you get in front of the judge (And you HAVE to see a judge, they don't just do it willy nilly), the judge asks WHY you're changing the name and if it's for reasons such as mine where the father was not involved and I wanted him to have my name so he didn't get confused, they ask you if the child's father has been involved at all in the last five years. t's not just "Oh hey I feel like paying $XX today and making my name Juliette instead of Dory." There has to be a reason for it and proof to back it up.

Ellie. 34 kids; Arizona 25371 posts
29th Nov '12
Quoting xONikki:" I just really was wanting to avoid a broken family... ): it seems like that's what it's boiling down ... [snip!] ... I should be happy and ready and now I'm scared to have her because everything is going to break out when she does make her way!"


Fight harder then. This stuff isn't make or break. Fight for your family and work on it. Don't give up easily because these things can work themselves out, so just give it time. I haven't seen one thing so far that has made me think it's going to end or you need to walk. Screw your dad's insurance. Get state insurance. Sounds like you may qualify. Give the baby his last name and work on communication.

Goodbye BG. Alabama 135 posts
29th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:</b>" Fight harder then. This stuff isn't make or break. Fight for your family and work on it. Don't give ... [snip!] ... your dad's insurance. Get state insurance. Sounds like you may qualify. Give the baby his last name and work on communication."</blockquote>




That's what I've been trying to do! >.< I'm just realizing that it seems like I'm fighting for a family to stay together and he isn't. Which kills me because I expected much more out of him, name calling and not wanting a good job when he needs it, then calling me a gold digger basically because I care so much about him getting a job.. It's not for me it's for this child why I want him to have a good job not me. He didn't want me going to college but Im planning to now and he got mad at me. He just seems so immature now and he's NEVER been this way.

Goodbye BG. Alabama 135 posts
29th Nov '12

Thank you everyone! I'm taking everyone's opinions and trying to clear my head and do the logical thing, not just because I'm angry and hurt. Just want to make the best possible decision for my family. It's just hard, because this decision has to be made sooner than later, even today if baby wants to come.

Ellie. 34 kids; Arizona 25371 posts
29th Nov '12
Quoting xONikki:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:</b>" Fight harder then. This stuff isn't make ... [snip!] ... me going to college but Im planning to now and he got mad at me. He just seems so immature now and he's NEVER been this way."


He may be freaking out about having a baby right now. Men sometimes dont know how to deal with their fear and frustrations. I hope things get better for you guys.

Goodbye BG. Alabama 135 posts
29th Nov '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:</b>" He may be freaking out about having a baby right now. Men sometimes dont know how to deal with their fear and frustrations. I hope things get better for you guys."</blockquote>




I've also thought about this and even through all of this I don't want to hurt him.): ill really know how he feels when I do deliver. If he even shows up now, and if he does Im curious how he is going to act, he should be happy no matter what when he sees his child as will I. I don't see him being happy one bit.. When I told him she's well on her way he just said uhhhh ok... And didn't sound one bit excited.): it's do damn upsetting! Thank you though doll!