8 Years old She'd Have to have an abortion, with as much help as I could to help her through Mentally, emotionally & Physically...& umm Yeah that would be if the Law would let me...Or any other member of our family....I couldn't hide it completely from her, since the Secondary Trauma that would come at a later date if (more like when) she would find out that she'd had a Previous pregnancy when as far as she Knew was that she had never been pregnant before wouldn't be worth it. And That would also be a Pretty Serious Medical thing that her Dr. should really really know, & so she'd have to know. But maybe as someone with Only half her Family/Genetic Medical History, & it's possible relation to not merely My own Life but My Children's(Still don't know what caused my 1st Borns Stroke, & it may be Genetically related) I know how important having as much of your Own Medical History really is. Far less the few little things that have been anomalous in Mine, DH's & My Mom's Health that have been found to be directly related to Previous issues that seemed completely unrelated, & super minor.
15 Year old, it is HER choice. But I will Not Bail her out of it in anyway. And it would be the same for if My son got His Girlfriend Pregnant.
I will babysit if needed while she goes to school, or work, but Not to Hang out with her friends if she chose to keep(She wants a Movie She can Pay someone to Babysit as I do, or leave Baby with Dad, & I'd have a Sit down with Dad's parent's about the same thing, they are raising the Baby, not Us), It's HER Baby & HER responsibility. She would have to Find & Use Resources to Help her with it, 'though I would try to steer her in appropriate directions if need be. I would allow her to stay with Me, but she Provides Necessities such as Diapers, Food(formula if that is her Choice), & the Like for the baby. I Am Merely Grandma to Baby, NOT Parent. & If she's not caring for Baby(abusing) she can Be out on Her Rump & CPS will be Called on her. I will however Push her to Immediately get a DNA test (cut that shit Off at the pass)File Support & Custody, for Her & His protection.
If I was to Adopt Her Baby, it would be a matter of "This is NOT your Child, You will not have the Privilege of Playing Mommy, you will be the Big Sister, & that will be it". If Adoption was the Option I would Push for Open Adoption with My contact to be included.
Abortion I would be there Holding her Hand as long as I'm allowed. But Only if it is Her Choice & Truly HER choice. Not a matter of "IF you don't abort I'm leaving you". In this case if It was My Son I would Soundly Beat him for a Statement like that to his Girl! & If She didn't want to be a Mom, I would Press HIM to be a Dad & Single Parent!
18, They're Old enough to Vote, Old enough to Drink Their Own Damned Responsibility! Not too much different than at 15, except that they have to do it even More on their own.
Quoting Lupin:" 8 Years old She'd Have to have an abortion, with as much help as I could to help her through Mentally, ... [snip!] ... Their Own Damned Responsibility! Not too much different than at 15, except that they have to do it even More on their own."
See, I'd have no problem watching my kid's kid every once in a while so they could go hang out with their friends. As long as they prove they're responsible and a good parent, I don't see the issue there.
Hell, I've been job hunting for MONTHS now so I'm broke as hell. We make just enough to support DD's needs. So no babysitting money. But, my mom does offer to take her every couple weeks for a night so we can have a night out. She's awesome.
But, to each their own.
Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:" See, I'd have no problem watching my kid's kid every once in a while so they could go hang out with ... [snip!] ... mom does offer to take her every couple weeks for a night so we can have a night out. She's awesome. But, to each their own."
See For a Couple of Hours Every once in a While, if I'm not Babysitting All the Time, sure. That's Different. But If I'm Looking after Baby All Day while they're in school, or All Night while they're working, and especially if I'm Watching Baby for them to Do Both of those things, I will Need a Break from Baby too. My Point is "I'm Not the Mom, I get time Off From YOUR Baby! Same as ANY Childcare Employee". Legally a Nanny Can't Watch Baby for those Kinds of Hours, so a Free Nanny definitely can't! And What about the Other Set of Grandparent's?
My Mom lives with Us, at least for Now. She Babysits(For a Cup of Coffee is our ongoing Joke on "Fee") for Me to go to work, When DH can't, around her Own Work Schedule. She also will look after one or the Other, or even both while I/we go do something (right now usually My Daughter while I take my son to Taekwon Do). Because of Finances Night's Out Kidless are Far & Few between(We're planning a Hobbit night, 'though that may have been Destroyed since DH has been laid off yesterday). I also Call her "The Third Parent", Because she is there, & so involved with their Lives, But no matter how much she looks out/after them, there is No Doubt that She is NOT their Mom! I have to ask her before I make Plans, I can't just say "I'm Gone" & leave the kids, & I can't just go Galloping off for Hours at end with out My kids.
Alot of times with Teen Parents, School, Work & Friends in varying Order are totally put before "Baby". I would Much rather if I have a Child who has their own Baby before they're Old enough to Vote, Join the Military &/or Legally Drink be a Parent than a "Teen Parent". I know people who had their First Kid at 30 who are still "Teen Parent's", & Some who had their First at 15 Second by 17 & They are NOT "Teen Parent's".