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older sibling teasing threekids Due June 23; 2 kids; New York 105 posts
1st Dec '12

hi,



my oldest is 7 years old , very smart, and kind hearted. The problem I am having is he antagonises and teases my 4 year old daughter constantly. Hes always making her cry. It starts in the morning and begins as soon as he gets off the bus. Its like he is itching all day to pick on her so as soon as hes off the bus he starts in.
I know my daughter can be very sensative and she does tend to be a little dramatic but what hes doing is just not nice. He is sweet as pie to my youngest son. I just dont know why he does it and what to do to stop it. It makes me crazy, by the end of the day I am spent . I dread the weekends when they are home together. Does anyone have any suggestions?

iLL-Legal Unicorn Alien 3 kids; New York, TX, United States 37137 posts
1st Dec '12

What do you do when he does something bad? Like how do you punish him? That's what I would do when he behaves like that...I know they are siblings and there's bound to be teasing but if he is making that his priority then it needs to stop. At seven years old I would expect him to know what crossing the line is.

mama3trish 3 kids; Ontario 9524 posts
1st Dec '12

Have a bucket and fill it with little balls (all the same size) and explain to him what a bucket filler and dipper is (bucket filler is someone who does something nice to/for someone else, and dipper is someone who is unkind like teasing etc). If he does little typical sibling crap like racing to the couch so she cant sit there ignore it, but if he is picking on her make him take out a ball and vice versa. Also try and set up situations where either child can be a bucket filler and give him lots of attention and praise when he is being good. If his bucket is full he should get a small reward (up to you). If his bucket is emptied then I would give him a consequence like no video games for 3 days. My kids started about 3 months ago and I posted rules on their door about tattling and informing (the difference) and told them if they need help sorting out their problems I would help but if they were running just to tattle then there would be consequences for each. I just praise my girls when they do something kind and that is motivation enough (now) for them to get along most of the time.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44070 posts
1st Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting mama3trish:</b>" Have a bucket and fill it with little balls (all the same size) and explain to him what a bucket filler ... [snip!] ... I just praise my girls when they do something kind and that is motivation enough (now) for them to get along most of the time."</blockquote>




I love bucket fillers :) and it does work with older kids cause the third grade class I student taught in does it and I do it with my preschoolers. So it can be done at any age. Op there are two books that go with it of u wanna look into it.



Also he's at that age where he doesn't quite understand sarcasm and probably thinks he's being sarcastic but is really being a jerk. I would have a talk with him for sure.

mama3trish 3 kids; Ontario 9524 posts
1st Dec '12
Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting mama3trish:</b>" Have a bucket and fill it with little balls ... [snip!] ... understand sarcasm and probably thinks he's being sarcastic but is really being a jerk. I would have a talk with him for sure."

I am currently doing IBI (basically an ABA training with my ASD kid) and I never realised how effective positive reinforcement was opposed to just punishing before.If my son can get it then any other kid can if the parents follow through and impliment it properly. Sounds like you are a very caring teacher.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44070 posts
1st Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting mama3trish:</b>" I am currently doing IBI (basically an ABA training with my ASD kid) and I never realised how effective ... [snip!] ... it then any other kid can if the parents follow through and impliment it properly. Sounds like you are a very caring teacher."</blockquote>



How wonderful!!! Yes I love my kids to be caring. It's so sweet. One of my little boys said "my heart feels full" :) so cute.