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aperkins Due December 31; 4 kids; Indiana 900 posts
3rd Dec '12
Quoting Amanda Ashly Foster:" did you even call a family member or respected friend to accompany you with the girls? please i know ... [snip!] ... keep in mind that money may be tight but make it possible to get help in ur family for you children . wish u the best of luck ."


I'm not a harsh mean monster. she was gone she knows none of what I said. I've tried to open up and talk to her. Trust me this isnt the first time we have disagreed. it doesnt mean I had the right to say that about her tho and I know that.



As for family our kids and my husband is all the family i have. IT was an agrument we both boiled until we said those things.

T + H = My World 2 kids; 1 angel baby; United Kingdom 3445 posts
3rd Dec '12

/i grew up in this type of situation, there was me, my brother and my mum with my step dad and his two children, my and my brother were very disciplined and and we we may look like we respected my step dad but in fact we were scared of him, to this day i still jump when i hear a key go in the door, we never put a foot out of line, where as the other two did what they wanted, i started to resent my mum for keeping me in this situation, PM me if you want to ask anything

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
4th Dec '12
Quoting Mamas 1144:" It shouldn't be the 18 year olds responsibility to make sure things happen for her siblings. I was 10 ... [snip!] ... a child. She should learn responsibility but saying what she did to her husband is not the way to make things like that happen."


helping out w/your siblings once in awhile is a part of ''family life''. sorry you were forced into the situation u had to endure but the 2 cannot be compared. Children (even grown ones) need to respect their parents , exspecailly when they live at home still for ''free''. The child in question was asked b4 the plans were made and agreed to help out in this specific situation. If she doesnt want to help out and doesnt want to pay for her keep then she has no business living in that household. All she is doing is teaching her younger siblings how to be an uncaring, selfish, freeloader.....which is probably why her own mother kicked her out !

deniumchick Colorado Springs, Colorado 6 posts
4th Dec '12

I thought I would jump on here, aperkins. You have a lot going on at your house. Family dynamics can certainly be challenging! I can understand what you are feeling. It seems that your husband, your stepdaughter and you are experiencing different emotions and have different expectations of each other. Each of you are seeing things differently and not necessarily communicating directly with each other.

I have a son in college and I have learned that even when we plan something, it might not always happen. So, I have learned to have a Plan B. However, my hubby and I do have some ground rules with him which most importantly includes showing respect to each other and helping each other out. I am sure that my son has heard a gazillion times -- "you scratch my back and I will scratch yours!"

Having a family meeting has helped us work through some rough spots -- where each of us get an opportunity to speak how we feel without interruptions (5-10 minutes for each person). There is no screaming or yelling going on. We may not agree with each other, but we have a better understanding of what each of us are thinking. Oftentimes, we found that we didn't have the whole picture. It wasn't about pointing fingers, it was sharing how it made us feel.

With the baby coming soon, I know that you want things to be resolved so there won't be major drama in the future. Good for you for wanting to make your marriage work, aperkins! You just might need to get some outside help (from an objective third party). I thought you may be interested to know that I've received some good advice from Focus on the Family over the years. If you think it might be beneficial, you may want to consider talking to one of their counselors over the phone for free. One of them may be able to provide you with some valuable insight. Just call 1-855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays between 6 a.m. and 8 p.m. (MT)

Just some thoughts...I will be praying!

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
4th Dec '12
Quoting deniumchick:" I thought I would jump on here, aperkins. You have a lot going on at your house. Family dynamics can ... [snip!] ... insight. Just call 1-855-771-HELP (4357) weekdays between 6 a.m. and 8 p.m. (MT) Just some thoughts...I will be praying! "


that is great advice....and i will join u in your praying (''where 2 or 3 are gathered together'') doesnt matter if we arent in the same state as long as we are in the same ''state of mind'' :)

aperkins Due December 31; 4 kids; Indiana 900 posts
4th Dec '12

thanks ladies. After a much heated fight last night between step daughter and I after finding she took my husband and I's cloths from the washer and dryer and threw them where with some mixed on the floor with dirty ones. I told her she needed to fix what she did and fold them. It blew up with her telling me she wouldnt cause her dad said take them out. Which he did tell her but he didnt tell her to not fold them or to threw them on floor.



She we ended up fighting. We both ended up saying a lot of thigns we didnt mean. And then my husband stepped in and we all stepped back and fixed a lot. My husband and I talked first alone without kids. Then he went and talked to her. Told her that the disrepcted she showed was not acceptable and that she needed to show respect and do what I said when I said it.



thanks for the prays. We will get threw this. My husband also agreed that they should have gone sunday and help with the girls and he see's that was selfish on his and his daugthers part. He then took us to mcdonalds and we let the little girls play and then took them to see lights. The older daughter came as well but wasnt allowed to complain or she could stay home.

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
4th Dec '12
Quoting aperkins:" thanks ladies. After a much heated fight last night between step daughter and I after finding she took ... [snip!] ... play and then took them to see lights. The older daughter came as well but wasnt allowed to complain or she could stay home."


hat is great ! keep us posted...

Amanda Ashly Foster Due January 3 (boy); Louisiana 44 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting aperkins:" I'm not a harsh mean monster. she was gone she knows none of what I said. I've tried to open up and ... [snip!] ... As for family our kids and my husband is all the family i have. IT was an agrument we both boiled until we said those things."


i do hp the best for you and for your family health and safety for u and ur sweet baby on the way please give it to God and let him wrk out the issues in your home Godbless

aperkins Due December 31; 4 kids; Indiana 900 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Amanda Ashly Foster:" i do hp the best for you and for your family health and safety for u and ur sweet baby on the way please give it to God and let him wrk out the issues in your home Godbless "


Thank you after much praying and a much needed conversation with my DH we are now all back to normal. We rarely fight so this came out of no where. But we have deal with and fixed the issues at hand.