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Co dependency. Vile Tramp 2 kids; New York 32363 posts
4th Dec '12

How do you break yourself of being co dependent?



I have horrid co dependency issues, I'd rather be treated poorly, cheated on, left bruised bloody and broken then be alone. I don't feel worthy if I am not with someone. I define myself as someone's, someone.



I don't know what makes me happy, I don't know who I am anymore. I need counseling, I know this. I need to stop running to people to make me happy. I need to learn to MAKE MYSELF happy, I need to stop making my relationships more important to me than I am to me.... I am nobody to myself, unless I am with someone else.



I've been like this since my first boyfriend ever. Idk what is wrong with my mind...



Does anyone have any advice? Ideas?

Daniels Mommy♥ Due February 13; 1 child; Michigan 434 posts
4th Dec '12

I have the same issue.

♥crazybitch 1 child; 5550 posts
4th Dec '12
Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" How do you break yourself of being co dependent? I have horrid co dependency issues, I'd rather be ... [snip!] ... I've been like this since my first boyfriend ever. Idk what is wrong with my mind... Does anyone have any advice? Ideas?"


I could of typed every single line in there.
But I'm also very independent as well, so it's kinda like co-dependency bipolar.

SpaceCowgirl Due December 21; 3 kids; Oregon 20240 posts
4th Dec '12

Is it the companionship that you crave or is it more like you want someone to take care of you? Or is it something else?

Vile Tramp 2 kids; New York 32363 posts
4th Dec '12
Quoting Tiffany [20weeks]:" I have the same issue."


I'm going through a divorce, and I literally feel worthless and depressed.

♥crazybitch 1 child; 5550 posts
4th Dec '12

What I can say that helped me was starting nursing school. I actually feel like I'm good at something, I'm not just a single lonely loser.

♥crazybitch 1 child; 5550 posts
4th Dec '12
Quoting ♥supermommy:" What I can say that helped me was starting nursing school. I actually feel like I'm good at something, I'm not just a single lonely loser."


And when I get to the point of missing bd I will call and BEG. He doesn't deserve that what-so-ever and I KNOW that, I just NEED to know I'm still attractive to him, I'm still loveable

Vile Tramp 2 kids; New York 32363 posts
4th Dec '12
Quoting SpaceCowgirl:" Is it the companionship that you crave or is it more like you want someone to take care of you? Or is it something else?"



It's everything. I want someone to stay with me for the rest of my life, I want the fairy tale, I want someone who will love me and want me. I have horrid self image and feel like I'm not worth someones times. I crave the feeling of being wanted/needed/loved.



That was a ramble.. I'm sorry.

Vile Tramp 2 kids; New York 32363 posts
4th Dec '12
Quoting ♥supermommy:" And when I get to the point of missing bd I will call and BEG. He doesn't deserve that what-so-ever and I KNOW that, I just NEED to know I'm still attractive to him, I'm still loveable"



I'm like this is my soon to be ex. I allow him to lead me on, because I practically BEG him to pay attention to me, and lead me on. It hurts 100x more. I will start a fight with him JUST so he will TALK to me.

♥crazybitch 1 child; 5550 posts
4th Dec '12
Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" I'm like this is my soon to be ex. I allow him to lead me on, because I practically BEG him to pay ... [snip!] ... BEG him to pay attention to me, and lead me on. It hurts 100x more. I will start a fight with him JUST so he will TALK to me. "


Yes me too!
I really want to call him right now actually. I just think about how much of an asshole he is and that usually helps. It's kinda like an addiction. It blinds you from using analytical thinking.

♥crazybitch 1 child; 5550 posts
4th Dec '12
Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" I'm like this is my soon to be ex. I allow him to lead me on, because I practically BEG him to pay ... [snip!] ... BEG him to pay attention to me, and lead me on. It hurts 100x more. I will start a fight with him JUST so he will TALK to me. "


Do you actually ask for him back?

Vile Tramp 2 kids; New York 32363 posts
4th Dec '12
Quoting ♥supermommy:" Yes me too! I really want to call him right now actually. I just think about how much of an asshole ... [snip!] ... much of an asshole he is and that usually helps. It's kinda like an addiction. It blinds you from using analytical thinking. "


Exactly. I will stay things that I don't mean, just to get him to yell back at me, so I can have the back and forth and feel like he cares. And it's a shitty life to lead.

Vile Tramp 2 kids; New York 32363 posts
4th Dec '12
Quoting ♥supermommy:" Do you actually ask for him back? "


I do. I beg him, I bawl, there is NOTHING that is off limits.. I will do ANYTHING to make him see how much I want him back. Its degrading.

♥crazybitch 1 child; 5550 posts
4th Dec '12
Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" I do. I beg him, I bawl, there is NOTHING that is off limits.. I will do ANYTHING to make him see how much I want him back. Its degrading. "



:/ It's crazy that we have such similar situations!
Like I will sit on the floor and cry, among other things. Afterwards I'm so embarrassed and feel so low. Lower than him.

TaliaKristine♥ 2 kids; Round Rock, Texas 1570 posts
4th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:</b>" I do. I beg him, I bawl, there is NOTHING that is off limits.. I will do ANYTHING to make him see how much I want him back. Its degrading. "</blockquote>




Every single thing you've mentioned I do with BD..we split in June and were still doing this..Idk what it is I just need to know part of him still loves and wants me.. I need the hope that we might work it out someday. Idk, but I hate it and i wish I could just not do it and not care, I wish he wouldn't allow me to do this.