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am I making things to easy for BD?? Betty Draper 1 child; Illinois 751 posts
5th Dec '12

I work full time M-F. 8:30- 5:30. My son goes to daycare from 8-4, my parents pick him up from daycare and stay with him until I get home at 6:30. BD only sees our son on Sundays late afternoon -monday night. LO doesnt go to school monday. He works from 3-1am. He's a tattoo artist but then after work he goes out to bars, after hours, random girl's houses so he's never up earlier than noon. I just feel like he get the perks of having more freedom and a social life. Where is if I want to go out or do something I have to ask my parents to watch LO or wait till he goes to bed at 9 and then go out late While he's sleeping. I'm live with my parents for the last year after BD kicked me out. If BD really wanted to see our son more he would trade in his party nights for a full day with LO. But he won't. ...BTW I drive LO to see BD 90% of the time.

lolajessup Due July 25; 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44057 posts
5th Dec '12

Well unless he's court ordered to more time I would say screw him. If he doesn't wanna put yor child first you can't make him unfortunately :(

Schmayder ♥ 1 child; Iowa 11769 posts
5th Dec '12

I would at least stop taking LO over there, if he wants to see him bad enough he'll find a way. I used to take my son to his dads/pick him up twice a week ( He doesn't work so on days I had to work before my LO was in school full days, he'd watch him when I couldn't find another sitter) I nipped that after I realized how much money I was spending in gas ON TOP of not getting any Child Support.

cookie monster (a and p) 2 kids; West Virginia 4445 posts
5th Dec '12

Honestly, I probably wouldn't be driving the baby to him. My attitude would be if BD wanted to see LO the BD would put in the effort to see LO.

♥MamaToSilas♥ 1 child; Illinois 9176 posts
5th Dec '12

I would stop driving your son to see him. If he doesn't wanna see his son then he wont. If he does then he has to make the effort to see him.

That Girl. 2 kids; Florida 4109 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting lolajessup:" Well unless he's court ordered to more time I would say screw him. If he doesn't wanna put yor child first you can't make him unfortunately :("


This!
And I wouldn't even dare trying to pressure it either. Because sounds like he doesn't really care so I wouldn't want him watching my child alone. But that's just me.

Nathan Young 2 kids; Syracuse, New York 57578 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting lolajessup:" Well unless he's court ordered to more time I would say screw him. If he doesn't wanna put yor child first you can't make him unfortunately :("


:!:



I would see if you can make an agreement about him picking his child up, though, it's not fair that you do all the driving (though, my BD does the same thing. :roll:)

sillygirltracyb_caius1222 4 kids; North Richland Hills, Texas 610 posts
5th Dec '12

ya.. i definitely say doing too much to help him out.. but on the other hand, i have done the same for my BD.. and the main reason was that I NEEDED the kids to go away also. I would voluntarily pay for their airfare, drive them all the way, half way, whatever, just because i needed a break.... It was the small price to pay for me to have any bit of freedom living in TX and he and my entire family in MO..



now they are older.. idc.. they dont care.. and like this year for christmas.. i didnt wanna pay $1000 for their airfare with this baby coming, and that cutting into their christmas... I of course asked them first.. and they wanted to stay here with me and not have me spend the $$... Guess what,... BD bought their airfare.. funny how that works..

Jillian Lindsey 2 kids; Mosheim, Tennessee 2354 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting snickle_fritz:" I work full time M-F. 8:30- 5:30. My son goes to daycare from 8-4, my parents pick him up from daycare ... [snip!] ... son more he would trade in his party nights for a full day with LO. But he won't. ...BTW I drive LO to see BD 90% of the time."

do you have visitation set up thru the court? if not id stop giving him visitation until he takes you to court you are making it way to easy on him im all for getting along but theres a point when you need to do whats best for you and your son