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Leland makes Three =] Due April 8 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Grand Rapids, MI, United States 2353 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Michael Westen:" Does it really matter? Is it going to effect the outcome of your life? No. It won't. How about instead of worrying about how other people live, worry about yourself."


it dose affect me and my family. because those kids are my family.

Leland makes Three =] Due April 8 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Grand Rapids, MI, United States 2353 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting TheNuge:" It's hard to know the specifics of the situation, but our "system" doesnt incent people to work. ... [snip!] ... do need the help while others just would rather bump off the bottom of society.... with the government helping them stay there."


its nuts... there needs to be a line somewhere and if they havent done something in a reasonable time frame they need to be cut off... shes been on assistance... 8 years. nothing has changed.

Leland makes Three =] Due April 8 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Grand Rapids, MI, United States 2353 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting SailorJerry:" Actually, it IS difficult to get a job these days. At least where I live. I've been actively pursuing ... [snip!] ... interviews but nothing yet. What is your relation to this supposed "lazy" mother? Why are you so concerned with her life?"


california is a hard place to find a job. I have heard... but 3 years and no job.... and she has a medical assistant degree... there are places where she can get a job. but thats not what she wants to do.

He Who Must Not Be Named 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59296 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Leland makes Three =]:" step children. it just breaks my heart that they have to live the way they are, I see them with Our ... [snip!] ... parents having grandparenting time we wouldnt see them at all. its nuts... and all I can do is sit here with my mouth shut..."


Hmm.



While I understand it's hard for you, like you said-- your SO fucked up, too, and there's a reason that the courts or CPS or something may not be as inclined to believe that she's awful.



Aside from her not having a job, or what you've heard about her "being lazy"-- is she doing anything else harmful to the kids? Because-- let me tell you that kids can be very emotional when it comes to their parents. Including having changing emotions about which they would like to live with, which they "hate" or whatever...

SailorJerry 2 kids; California 17296 posts
5th Dec '12

Only way to change the custody order is to go back to court. Seeing as your so has all these things that have been held against him, I would see a lawyer who can discuss what your options are in terms of going back to court to revise the current orders. Until then, yes, all you can do is stand off on the side lines. You cant change her, living off the gov. Or whatever, so worry about what you can do to spend more time with the kids (if your so wants to, hpefully its not a situation where you are the sole driving force in pushing anything custody wise)

Leland makes Three =] Due April 8 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Grand Rapids, MI, United States 2353 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting The Doctor:" Plus, just try to find daycare with multiple children on one income. Hell, just for one kid."


her kids are in public school... she has 2 other children whom she chose to have with two other men... she made her bed. but that dosent mean she cant do better than what she is doing now.

Leland makes Three =] Due April 8 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Grand Rapids, MI, United States 2353 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting SailorJerry:" Only way to change the custody order is to go back to court. Seeing as your so has all these things ... [snip!] ... kids (if your so wants to, hpefully its not a situation where you are the sole driving force in pushing anything custody wise)"


no he wants to see his kids but everytime he calls she sets something up and then when it comes time to pick them up she refuses to let him have them.... this has been going on for months and its an hr drive to get them... we get there and have to turn around and go back. he has a lawyer but they have to resched with foc. the judge knocked it down to them. I just am getting frusterated with the process.

Robert Downey Jr. Zanzibar, Tanzania 16079 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Leland makes Three =]:" her kids are in public school... she has 2 other children whom she chose to have with two other men... she made her bed. but that dosent mean she cant do better than what she is doing now."


How do you know those weren't accidental pregnancies??

He Who Must Not Be Named 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59296 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Leland makes Three =]:" her kids are in public school... she has 2 other children whom she chose to have with two other men... she made her bed. but that dosent mean she cant do better than what she is doing now."


You are definitely making a lot of assumptions about this woman, and I'm guessing it is coming from your SO/DH?



Again-- I know you think it's "so easy" and "well, that's her fault".... but seriously, shush.



Either have your SO do what he can to take her to court, and get a good lawyer if you have proof of all of these awful things that are happening-- or don't. Especially with your DH had no contact for a year and a half.... geez. I see him having a rough battle in court.

Leland makes Three =] Due April 8 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Grand Rapids, MI, United States 2353 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting The Doctor:" Hmm. While I understand it's hard for you, like you said-- your SO fucked up, too, and there's a reason ... [snip!] ... to their parents. Including having changing emotions about which they would like to live with, which they "hate" or whatever..."


I know in court she said she works 10 to 15 hrs a week .thats it. I know there are different men and women in and out of their home all the time because of when his parents bring them and drop them off. I know that they have to babysit their younger siblings. I know she allowed her boyfriend to beat their child and claimed she knew nothing about it. How could you not know when your 2 1/2 year olds testicles are black and blue and 3 times the size.... and he has bruises all over his body, wouldnt you question that? no she denied it. The little boy still to this day things someone is going to hurt him or that guy will come back and hurt him. I have seen this little boy look me in the face and say this mans name and say he hurt him and he was scared no one would protect him. His mom thinks he is better, he is not, the incident still to this day haunts this little boy but noooo he dosent need counciling. I just don't get how a judge can see that and allow a parent to even be able to have their children at all. anyone. Or how a parent can expect to get their child back after somthing like that.

Leland makes Three =] Due April 8 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Grand Rapids, MI, United States 2353 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Michael Westen:" How do you know those weren't accidental pregnancies??"


she told me... with her last one I sat in the hospital with her per my SO's request and she told me that.

Robert Downey Jr. Zanzibar, Tanzania 16079 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Leland makes Three =]:" she told me... with her last one I sat in the hospital with her per my SO's request and she told me that."



Okay even so it's not really your concern.

Leland makes Three =] Due April 8 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Grand Rapids, MI, United States 2353 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting The Doctor:" You are definitely making a lot of assumptions about this woman, and I'm guessing it is coming from ... [snip!] ... or don't. Especially with your DH had no contact for a year and a half.... geez. I see him having a rough battle in court."


the no contact order should have never even happened because the judge that ruled that had the wrong court order plea he took. The judge who sentenced him said he could have contact with his children.

Leland makes Three =] Due April 8 (girl); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Grand Rapids, MI, United States 2353 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Michael Westen:" Okay even so it's not really your concern."


I don't really care about that .