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what do you think? ... sex and other things Spoonful of Jayson 17 kids; Morrisville, Pennsylvania 11627 posts
5th Dec '12

Do you think that when the sex is gone (meaning that you have no desire to have sex with that person and avoid it) that the relationship necessarily is over?



Do you think it can be salvaged while maintaining a faithful relationship?



How do you sustain a relationship knowing it's over until the time is right to end it if the other party doesn't want to break up?

cfxfdfdfdsfdafdsf Vacaville, California 71166 posts
5th Dec '12

No it's not over, yes it can be salvaged while being faithful, and you don't fake it. When you're done you should end it, it's not fair to "fake it".

Ole' No Name TTC since Oct 2013; 1 child; Singapore, Singapore 5829 posts
status 5th Dec '12

I don't know really.
Depends on each situation, I have a very low sex drive and SO wants to have sex everyday.
I try to avoid it, but our relationship is very strong and we don't fight about sex.

ModernMan'sHustle ♥ 1 child; Akron, Ohio 983 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" Do you think that when the sex is gone (meaning that you have no desire to have sex with that person ... [snip!] ... do you sustain a relationship knowing it's over until the time is right to end it if the other party doesn't want to break up?"


Me and hubby haven't had sex in over a month...it's just how it goes in this house. I don't have a very high sex drive ever since I had Zoey and he understand that really well. We're still on good terms and still love each other tons.



But, there's so sense in sustaining a relationship if one half of it doesn't want to be there anymore. It's not fair to the other person. If you're not happy, end it. In the long run it's better for everyone.

Spoonful of Jayson 17 kids; Morrisville, Pennsylvania 11627 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Lovelyyy KD*:" No it's not over, yes it can be salvaged while being faithful, and you don't fake it. When you're done you should end it, it's not fair to "fake it"."


We've talked about it. I know it's over. He wants to still try. We are, but I feel like in my heart it's over. There is just a lot to figure out after 5 years.

~Raylan's Mama~ 1 child; Tennessee 2114 posts
5th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting ModernMan'sHustle ♥:</b>" Me and hubby haven't had sex in over a month...it's just how it goes in this house. I don't have a very ... [snip!] ... to be there anymore. It's not fair to the other person. If you're not happy, end it. In the long run it's better for everyone."</blockquote>




:!::!::!:

Spoonful of Jayson 17 kids; Morrisville, Pennsylvania 11627 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting ModernMan'sHustle ♥:" Me and hubby haven't had sex in over a month...it's just how it goes in this house. I don't have a very ... [snip!] ... to be there anymore. It's not fair to the other person. If you're not happy, end it. In the long run it's better for everyone."


I WANT to have sex...just not with him. I have no desire anymore, and haven't for a while.



Part of me thinks it IS better for everyone for me to act like I'm happy for a little while longer. SO has nowhere to go unless it's 45 minutes away to his dads, or 12 hours away to his sisters. Neither of which I want for our son.

ModernMan'sHustle ♥ 1 child; Akron, Ohio 983 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" I WANT to have sex...just not with him. I have no desire anymore, and haven't for a while. Part of ... [snip!] ... nowhere to go unless it's 45 minutes away to his dads, or 12 hours away to his sisters. Neither of which I want for our son."


It's not right to fake it though. If you don't want to be with him, be honest. He's an adult and will figure out what to do with his life. Letting him believe everything is fine is just not right to me...

Spoonful of Jayson 17 kids; Morrisville, Pennsylvania 11627 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting ModernMan'sHustle ♥:" It's not right to fake it though. If you don't want to be with him, be honest. He's an adult and will ... [snip!] ... He's an adult and will figure out what to do with his life. Letting him believe everything is fine is just not right to me..."


No he knows everything is not fine, he just wants to pretend like it is because he's got a nice life here. He's comfortable. We've had talks and he thinks it's better to stay together for Jayson, while I think Jayson needs to see his parents happy. He thinks us, unhappy but together, is better.

ModernMan'sHustle ♥ 1 child; Akron, Ohio 983 posts
5th Dec '12
Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" No he knows everything is not fine, he just wants to pretend like it is because he's got a nice life ... [snip!] ... stay together for Jayson, while I think Jayson needs to see his parents happy. He thinks us, unhappy but together, is better."


Then be firm and tell him it's not what YOU want. Don't sacrifice your happiness in order to keep him happy. If it's over, it's over and there's no sense living in a house with someone you don't want to be with!

Lin Brown 2 kids; Tunnel Hill, Georgia 1754 posts
6th Dec '12

There's no reason to sacrifice not only your happiness, but your sons happiness. He looks up to his parents more then anyone and when you guys are not happy, then he's not happy and will possibly grow up and think that you don't have to be happy to be in a relationship with anyone. Have him go to his dads or his sisters and just tell him when ever he wants to see his son, he can come to your place if you don't want him at theirs. Staying in an unhappy relationship is not healthy in any way. sorry but do it for your child.