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♥MomToSilas+1♥ Due December 9; 1 child; ., IL, United States 10877 posts
status 8th Dec '12

My grandfather was diagnosed with dementia when I was 10. He wasn't bad until I was 19ish. Then it just started getting worse. It made him mean (not to us but to everyone else around him) Its a really really hard thing to deal with. And he's had a lot of issues where he just isn't doing things the same as he used to. He has a good memory of the past but he has his episodes. He does things he knows he shouldn't do. Like hiding open food(like packages of raw meat) in the closet in the basement. Where no one ever goes. We just figured he was throwing it away. Maggot infestation.. And you can't really be pissed at him because it does have a lot to do with the dementia. He wanders off. Lets the dog out of the house (my uncle has had to pay over $1600 to keep getting his dog back from animal control several times) He's done other things as well... But its just so much to list and has been extremely hard on everyone.

Tavi 1 child; Washington 24396 posts
8th Dec '12
Quoting Brink:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" I'm so sorry... How long did she live with dementia? ... [snip!] ... My paternal gma has dementia and her meds have really slowed it down. It was progressing rather quick until she got on meds."


Oh wow, that's awful. I wonder if it was the dementia itself or if it was moreso the cancer. 4.5 years isn't very long at all :(



She's not on meds yet. She's actually wanting to get a second opinion on this dementia diagnosis. She feels like she doesn't have that. I heard about the meds helping slow down the progressing. I also heard that eating a heart healthy diet is good too. and exercise is good also. I think we're going to start going on walks when she gets her. Just little half hour walks, nothing too crazy....

Tavi 1 child; Washington 24396 posts
8th Dec '12
Quoting Brink:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" Yea, that's what's so hard. I use my judgement all ... [snip!] ... You'll be there is the key point. Look into support groups around your area! There's probably a few you're in the city."


Huh. I don't know why i didn't think to look for support groups. That's a great idea! I've never been to a support group for anything..so is it just other people with dementia, or experts on it, or a little of both?

Hy'ska 2 kids; Washington 50789 posts
8th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" Oh wow, that's awful. I wonder if it was the dementia itself or if it was moreso the cancer. 4.5 years ... [snip!] ... is good also. I think we're going to start going on walks when she gets her. Just little half hour walks, nothing too crazy...."</blockquote>




The cancer definitely was what progressed hers. It went from her ovaries to lymph nodes and into her brain. My dad's mom has dementia (I don't know her that well his family is kinda estranged) and she's had it since I was in middle school and just I'm the last year has needed more help and gets way more confused.

Tavi 1 child; Washington 24396 posts
8th Dec '12
Quoting Sami&Baby Silas:" My grandfather was diagnosed with dementia when I was 10. He wasn't bad until I was 19ish. Then it just ... [snip!] ... control several times) He's done other things as well... But its just so much to list and has been extremely hard on everyone."


Oh man. Poor guy. 9 years is about normal from what I've heard. It just scares me because there's a number on how long she'll be here for. I can't live without her. It'd break my heart if I lost her.....
When your grandfather did those things (leaving meat in basement, letting the dog go) was he with people or by himself?

Almyk 1 child; Michigan 455 posts
8th Dec '12

Dementia is so hard, I'm sorry you're hurting ):
We have suspicions that my grandpa may have it.. sometimes even my grandma. My grandpa's sister had dementia and was put in a home, we visited her every week. She had her moments, she never fully grasped who I was but had her own little inside joke every time she saw me.
My sister and her SO are going through this with her (sister's SO) mother. She has gotten bad really really fast :/
The best advice I can give is to fully appreciate every coherent day she has with you. Let her know how much you care about her all the time (I'm sure you do this anyways though.)
Like some of the others on here have said, giving her tasks to do can really help. You said she enjoys cooking, that's awesome, I'd use that.. even if she starts getting worse you can still do simple baking with her, like making bread and cookies.
I also suggest a support group for your own peace of mind and well-being.

Hy'ska 2 kids; Washington 50789 posts
8th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" Huh. I don't know why i didn't think to look for support groups. That's a great idea! I've never been ... [snip!] ... never been to a support group for anything..so is it just other people with dementia, or experts on it, or a little of both?"</blockquote>




A professional typically leads the group and family members of people with dementia are there to converse.

Tavi 1 child; Washington 24396 posts
8th Dec '12
Quoting Brink:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" Oh wow, that's awful. I wonder if it was the dementia ... [snip!] ... and she's had it since I was in middle school and just I'm the last year has needed more help and gets way more confused."


Cancer is just awful..that's how Grandma lost Grandpa. Like, part of me feels like she's like this because she never got to grieve over Grandpa.



Maybe that's it. Maybe I'll take her to the place we buried him at. Your Dad's mother seems to have lasted pretty long with it then. Is she in a home you know? Or is she being watched after by another family member?

Hy'ska 2 kids; Washington 50789 posts
8th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" Cancer is just awful..that's how Grandma lost Grandpa. Like, part of me feels like she's like this because ... [snip!] ... to have lasted pretty long with it then. Is she in a home you know? Or is she being watched after by another family member?"</blockquote>




She is in a place in Edmonds she was in an amazing place in Alki but she got kicked out for drinking. Her dementia is alcohol induced and she was never a very nice person so I have a hard time feeling sorry for her.

Tavi 1 child; Washington 24396 posts
8th Dec '12
Quoting Almyk:" Dementia is so hard, I'm sorry you're hurting ): We have suspicions that my grandpa may have it.. sometimes ... [snip!] ... baking with her, like making bread and cookies. I also suggest a support group for your own peace of mind and well-being."


Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. I think everything you've said makes total sense. I hope your Grandpa is going to be okay too. I do appreciate and value every day I have with her. Well...now it's phone calls, but when she gets here in a few weeks, I'm wanting to get a lot of videos and pictures with her. I want stuff to show LO when she's older....the normal Grandma...not the dementia Grandma.

Tavi 1 child; Washington 24396 posts
8th Dec '12
Quoting Brink:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" Cancer is just awful..that's how Grandma lost Grandpa. ... [snip!] ... for drinking. Her dementia is alcohol induced and she was never a very nice person so I have a hard time feeling sorry for her."

Yea, I kind of got t hat vibe from you when you referred to her as your Dad's mom instead of Grandma. I'm sorry about that :( I didn't know they had alcohol induced dementia..what exactly does that mean? Like she'll drink, then her dementia comes?

♥MomToSilas+1♥ Due December 9; 1 child; ., IL, United States 10877 posts
status 8th Dec '12
Quoting Tavi:" Oh man. Poor guy. 9 years is about normal from what I've heard. It just scares me because there's a ... [snip!] ... When your grandfather did those things (leaving meat in basement, letting the dog go) was he with people or by himself? "


The meat he did when he was home alone we believe. He swears it wasn't him and that the neighbor came over and did it.... The dog he's done with people standing right there. I've had to run after the dog because he just opened the door and the dog ran out before I got a chance to grab him. My uncle was in the cooking one day when he just snuck out the front door and ended up down the road lost and confused. Thankfully someone recognized him and called my uncle immediately.

Tavi 1 child; Washington 24396 posts
8th Dec '12
Quoting Sami&Baby Silas:" The meat he did when he was home alone we believe. He swears it wasn't him and that the neighbor came ... [snip!] ... the front door and ended up down the road lost and confused. Thankfully someone recognized him and called my uncle immediately."


Yea, part of that I can see a little of my grandma doing. The part where you mention him swearing it wasn't him it was the neighbor. Sometimes my grandma misplaces things, and she never looses them, it's always because someone broke into her house and stole them. It'll be something as useless as an oven mitt too.



That's good the neighbors recognized him too! So you guys just made sure your neighbors knew about his condition then? That's actually really smart....

Hy'ska 2 kids; Washington 50789 posts
8th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" Yea, I kind of got t hat vibe from you when you referred to her as your Dad's mom instead of Grandma. ... [snip!] ... :( I didn't know they had alcohol induced dementia..what exactly does that mean? Like she'll drink, then her dementia comes?"</blockquote>



http://www.emedicinehealth.com/dementia_overview/page2_em.htm



She has Parkinson's which causes dementia but her dementia started out being caused by drinking heavily.



There is a bunch of different causes of dementia.

Tavi 1 child; Washington 24396 posts
8th Dec '12
Quoting Brink:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tavi:</b>" Yea, I kind of got t hat vibe from you when you referred ... [snip!] ... dementia but her dementia started out being caused by drinking heavily. There is a bunch of different causes of dementia."


Oooh, see, I was looking at different forms of dementia, but I kind of skimmed over the causes of it because I already knew that the stroke is what caused it with Grandma.



Do you ever worry you're going to get it. I mean with both grandparents having it..it's pretty damn scary. Mind if I PT you?