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PROBLEMS WITH MAN AND COMMUNICATION Britta Waller Due March 8 (girl); 1 child; High Point, North Carolina 36 posts
8th Dec '12


So my man and I have been together for three years in January . I moved out of state from Memphis Tennessee to North Carolina with my four year old son in January 2010 to be with him. We did the long distance thing for a year before i decided to make such a big move away from family. We saw each other each month and my child got to know my man. I was not searching for any man, nor was i in a hurry for another relationship. I felt that the time would come when it was right and that there would be a man that would love me and my son just like he was his own. One of my visits he proposed to me and said he wanted a life with me and my child. So thats when i decided to move to NC with him because i was wearing his ring and there was a commitment. I needed that commitment because i didn't want to just go move on with any man and have him around my son. I have always thought about my son first and want to protect him. At the same time mommy needs to be happy too and to find love again. So i thought i had found it.We both agreed that we were looking for the same thing and that we were ready to commit and were tired of the same ol' dating scene. I told him from the very begining that i have been cheated on a lot and do not deal well and am not comfortable with the man im gonna marry hanging out with friends of the opposite sex and texting them and such. I am not an insecure girl. I just think most of the time it's like playing with fire talking to other women and confiding in them. Things do happen and one thing can easily lead to another. There is also such a thing called "emotional cheating'. I just do not want to spend a whole relationship competing with another girl and having to buy my guys attention. I am almost thirty and i have my standards,especially with the man im gonna marry and have around my son. I think that is understandable. I think it is good to lay everything out on the table in the begining so that you don't have any issues and that you are both on the same page. Anyways, ever since i've moved in with him,he hasn't seemed to keep his promises and it's almost as if he isn't at all who he said he was. He has TONS of friends that are girls who he text regularly and who he is flirty with. He keeps in touch with his exes and is flirty with them too. I dont get it because he actually told me he doesn't keep in touch with them anymore. Eventually he caught on with the fact that i knew about his behavior. So then he made it "easier" for himself to hide the fact that he's still doing it by using a text app on his phone that gives him another number{so i won't find out on our phone bill). It's just one thing after another. Him apologizing and me forgivIng yet again back and forth. I asked him once,WHY? He said because he got 'bored" and that we did the same ol' thing all the time9which is not true).He said he didn't miss other girls, but more having there attention. so why would he take this situation upon himself? Why wouldn't he try to come to me and we could fix things together? WHY MUST WE ALL DO THINGS THE EASIER WAY? RELATIONSHIPS TAKE WORK! So constantly i have anxiety issues about it all, i feel insecure and like im not good enough. I don't feel comfortable talking with him about things because he shuts me out. He just expects me to get over it with a flip of a switch. He doesn't know how to communicate AT ALL!. When we argue about it or even try to talk calmly about it(because i need answers) he checks out and then he goes on a texting/flirting spree. He's actually told women he is single and they have no idea about me. Even the ones that he claims he's been friends with for a while. IS HE ASHAMED? I mean wtf? He has a baby on the way and he has my son.Im guessing it's to make himself feel better,hell i dunno.I feel like im gonna blow up because im made to sorda keep everything in which isn't healthy. On top of it all im almost 7 months pregnant. Any advice or anyone that is going through simliar things? Im afraid he is gonna cheat if he already hasn't. HOW COULD SOMEONE BE SO SELFISH?

user banned 33 kids; Blytheville, Arkansas 7534 posts
8th Dec '12

PLEASE edit your post and take the italics off. Holy f**k.

Bettinas 2 kids; Australia 2204 posts
8th Dec '12
Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:" PLEASE edit your post and take the italics off. Holy f**k. "


:lol:

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 22790 posts
status 8th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:</b>" PLEASE edit your post and take the italics off. Holy f**k. "</blockquote>




:lol: yes very much so

Ole' No Name TTC since Oct 2013; 1 child; Singapore, Singapore 6244 posts
8th Dec '12

Honestly I'd leave him.
but I don't put up with petty bullshit or play childish games.

iLL-Legal Unicorn Alien 3 kids; New York, TX, United States 37137 posts
8th Dec '12
Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:" PLEASE edit your post and take the italics off. Holy f**k. "


Are you kidding? italics are an issue? At least she's not capitalizing every single word, using double ii's or using numbers as letters. And actually knows English.



OP, I's say cut your losses and run. He is clearly not ready to make a commitment and be married. You're going to end up getting hurt in the long run.

♥Mj&Daryl♥ (boy); 2 kids; Spokane, Washington 2392 posts
8th Dec '12

So you're not insecure but you are.



Anyways- you shouldn't have said yes and move cross country without taking a vaca or something first.



You probably would have noticed the texting other girls and stuff like that.



If he's telling people he's single- he doesn't want to marry you

♥Mama Constantine 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Texas 5806 posts
8th Dec '12
Quoting Mj's Crazy Mama♥:" So you're not insecure but you are. Anyways- you shouldn't have said yes and move cross country without ... [snip!] ... have noticed the texting other girls and stuff like that. If he's telling people he's single- he doesn't want to marry you"

Exactly this.

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 22790 posts
status 8th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mj's Crazy Mama♥:</b>" So you're not insecure but you are. Anyways- you shouldn't have said yes and move cross country without ... [snip!] ... have noticed the texting other girls and stuff like that. If he's telling people he's single- he doesn't want to marry you"</blockquote>




:!: exactly this

i ♥ nora 1 child; New Jersey 1622 posts
8th Dec '12
Quoting iLL-Legal Alien:" Are you kidding? italics are an issue? At least she's not capitalizing every single word, using double ... [snip!] ... and run. He is clearly not ready to make a commitment and be married. You're gong to end up getting hurt in the long run."


LOL I laughed at the repeated posts about the italics. Someone always has to find something to complain about that doesn't regard the OP's issue.

iLL-Legal Unicorn Alien 3 kids; New York, TX, United States 37137 posts
8th Dec '12
Quoting i ♥ nora:" LOL I laughed at the repeated posts about the italics. Someone always has to find something to complain about that doesn't regard the OP's issue."


lol IDK if it's that I'm so used to reading cursive handwriting all the time but I didn't have any problems reading it.



n0w S0m3tHiin' LiiK3 Diiz....yes. lol

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 22790 posts
status 8th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting iLL-Legal Alien:</b>" lol IDK if it's that I'm so used to reading cursive handwriting all the time but I didn't have any problems reading it. n0w S0m3tHiin' LiiK3 Diiz....yes. lol"</blockquote>



Thank goodness it wasnt like this. Or capitalized every word!

i ♥ nora 1 child; New Jersey 1622 posts
8th Dec '12
Quoting iLL-Legal Alien:" lol IDK if it's that I'm so used to reading cursive handwriting all the time but I didn't have any problems reading it. n0w S0m3tHiin' LiiK3 Diiz....yes. lol"


aww hell naw how boutz wen dey be speekin all dif typez uf ebonix n leevin lttrs owt and run on sntnses wiff no punktuation nd our iz are and youre your ur n shiiiiit. ya herd?

i ♥ nora 1 child; New Jersey 1622 posts
8th Dec '12
Quoting Mj's Crazy Mama♥:" So you're not insecure but you are. Anyways- you shouldn't have said yes and move cross country without ... [snip!] ... have noticed the texting other girls and stuff like that. If he's telling people he's single- he doesn't want to marry you"


:!: OP. I am not ignoring your issues. But I have to agree with this.

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 22790 posts
status 8th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting i ♥ nora:</b>" aww hell naw how boutz wen dey be speekin all dif typez uf ebonix n leevin lttrs owt and run on sntnses wiff no punktuation nd our iz are and youre your ur n shiiiiit. ya herd?"</blockquote>




How long did it take you to type that? Lol