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Just Emily :) 2 kids; Casa grande, Az, United States 8774 posts
9th Dec '12

I don't feel like age is the determining factor. I went to school with a girl who had a baby at 14 and was a great mom but she had a great support system. I also know of a girl in her 30s who has had 7 kids with six guys and has custody of one of them. It's what you make of it but it helps to have a great support system. Learn from this mistake and use bc if you continue to have sex after this baby so you can finish school and give the child a good life. Also consider adoption if that's the route you think is best. It's a great thing to give a couple a child who cant do it on their own. Yes it's hard but there's lots of couples who have the resources but can't have a child. I'm not the type to suggest abortion but I won't bash someone who chooses it. Know your options and do your research. This site can be a great place for advise if you seem like you're trying to really do hats best for you and LO. Just don't try to find the easy way out. There isn't one. It's going to be hard but good luck.

user banned (boy); 2 kids; Fucking, Austria 36337 posts
9th Dec '12

For the one's saying a 14 year old can be a great mom, please give me your definition of a great mother?

TheNuge 1 child; Pennsylvania 23055 posts
9th Dec '12
Quoting mellie98:" But it is a discussion? So I guess this is right sorry if it isn't Do you think a 14 year old can be ... [snip!] ... reason I'm askin is cause I'm 14 and I'm pregnant and idk what I want to do like if I wanna keep it or give it up for adoption"


It's possible for you to be a loving and caring mom. Honestly, you still need lots of mothering yourself so I dont think it is wise for you to keep the baby.
The liklihood that you will reach your own full potetial as a woman is very small if you keep the baby. Having a baby is a happy occassion but should be when you are better prepared for a full life so you can provide what the baby needs for a full life.
You will GREATLY limit your options in life if you keep the baby. I dont know how much your parents will help you, but your options will evaporate with a child.

Just Emily :) 2 kids; Casa grande, Az, United States 8774 posts
9th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting ℳary ℐane:</b>" For the one's saying a 14 year old can be a great mom, please give me your definition of a great mother?"</blockquote>




The girl I knew never expected help. She watched her baby brother after school to earn her keep at home. She helped her mom with everything her mom asked to earn the diapers and baby food her mom bought. No she couldn't get a job but she didn't expect her mom to help without helping her mom. As soon as she was old enough for a job she got one. And started trying to repay her mom as much as she could for the help her mom gave. She worked hard to teach her daughter not to make her mistake. She's 7 now so there's still away to go but her child is polite well mannered, loves to read and help out her mom and grandma.

Rafael's Mommy ♥ Texas 764 posts
9th Dec '12
Quoting ℳary ℐane:" For the one's saying a 14 year old can be a great mom, please give me your definition of a great mother?"


Well I was a mom at 14, and while I wasn't perfect, I was still a good mom. The only time I left him was when I went to school. I breastfed him, changed his diapers, stayed up all night with him and then went to school the next day. I was there when he was sick and when he got hurt. I disciplined him when he got older. I teach him right from wrong. I taught him his letters and numbers and colors and shapes. I breastfed him until just a little while ago. I started working under the table when he was six months old probably and while that wasn't enough to completely support him, I still contributed. He's four years old now and is the best boy I could ever ask for :) he's not perfect and neither am I but who is? Yes my mom helped us out financially when he was younger and I will be eternally grateful to her for that, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad mom. It wasn't the ideal situation and I wish I would have waited. Sometimes I wish I could have had the exact same child, just ten years from now. But I will never agree that all 14 year olds are bad moms simply because they can't financially support their child. Yes, that is a huge issue, but how that is handled is between the girl and her family.

TheNuge 1 child; Pennsylvania 23055 posts
9th Dec '12
Quoting Rafael's Mommy ♥:" Well I was a mom at 14, and while I wasn't perfect, I was still a good mom. The only time I left him ... [snip!] ... can't financially support their child. Yes, that is a huge issue, but how that is handled is between the girl and her family."


Money is only part of it.
If my daighter got pregnant at 14 there wouldnt be a financial issues at all. BUT, her options in life would be severly limited. I'd rather see a different loving family see their dream come true of adopting a child while my daughter had 100% of her opportunities available to her again. that would be a win for everyone.

Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
9th Dec '12
Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" No. I don't think that a 14 year old could be a good mother A 14 year old cannot work, cannot drive, cannot provide the basics for a child I'd abort or adopt."


:!:



I think it is delusional to think a fourteen year old can be a "great parent" when she is still just a baby herself. I have a fourteen year old brother and he is WAY too immature to be a father.

Rebecca(Adam'sMommy) 1 child; Beaufort, South Carolina 3251 posts
9th Dec '12

I was 20 when my son was born.. Now I'm 21 and I still wish I had waited. You have to sacrifice SOOOO much. And to be honest, I wasn't quite ready.. I'm adjusting every day.

Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
9th Dec '12
Quoting Rebecca(Adam'sMommy):" I was 20 when my son was born.. Now I'm 21 and I still wish I had waited. You have to sacrifice SOOOO much. And to be honest, I wasn't quite ready.. I'm adjusting every day. "


I'm 21 right now and I just can't financially or emotionally support a baby right now. Couldn't imagine doing it seven years ago!

Kylees Mama 1 child; Faribault, Minnesota 4193 posts
9th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting TheNuge:</b>" Money is only part of it. If my daighter got pregnant at 14 there wouldnt be a financial issues at ... [snip!] ... of adopting a child while my daughter had 100% of her opportunities available to her again. that would be a win for everyone."</blockquote>




While that's ideal, you can't force her to give the baby up for adoption.

TheNuge 1 child; Pennsylvania 23055 posts
9th Dec '12
Quoting Kylees Mama:" <blockquote><b>Quoting TheNuge:</b>" Money is only part of it. If my daighter got ... [snip!] ... would be a win for everyone."</blockquote> While that's ideal, you can't force her to give the baby up for adoption."


That's obvious. The question is just being asked and opinions sought.