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Letting go of a childhood memory? Vodka Knockers 1 child; North Carolina 8063 posts
9th Dec '12

Goooone. Thanks to everyone who replied :)

ThatsAlotaNuts Australia 2311 posts
status 9th Dec '12
Quoting Vodka Knockers:" ***DO NOT QUOTE PLEASE**** I kinda had some memories I usually try to ignore stemming from another thread. ... [snip!] ... to get it out of him, he probably doesn't even remember. It would just be kind of nice to hear my mom acknowledge it, I guess."


ive let mine go
my mum used to whip us with horse crops,
i brang it up a few times over the years the last time being not too long ago and she said she never even owned horse crops!!
i was so mad, she lied right infront of my DH and it made me look like i was lying, lucky my other siblings remember.

Mandy Schlatterer Due March 27; 2 kids; New Port Richey, Florida 1334 posts
9th Dec '12

Well I see why you're against spanking, of course that situation is abuse! Over shampoo?

MamaDSx2&SDD Due July 8; 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Monroe, Michigan 10013 posts
9th Dec '12

it was 100% abuse.
you will probably never hear your mom acknowledge it.
My mom still doesn't with the stuff her ex hubby did.



ETA: I would try to just let it go.
Which is VERY hard, i still have quite a bit of anger with my mom over stuff but I'm trying :/

nursemaya mom to 3! 3 kids; 5 angel babies; Minnesota 16002 posts
9th Dec '12

It is abuse. I would guess you will never hear an apology. Sorry :(

Vodka Knockers 1 child; North Carolina 8063 posts
9th Dec '12
Quoting Mandy Schlatterer:" Well I see why you're against spanking, of course that situation is abuse! Over shampoo?"

Yeah. Shampoo.
I just remember wanting bubbles so I tried to use the shampoo to make bubbles, and ended up using the whole bottle. I felt so guilty that I filled it up with water and put it back on the shelf. Then when she came in to check on me and didn't see shampoo in my hair, grabbed the bottle and was about to put some in and realized it was water.
I'd like to hear her acknowledge it, very much so. But she's in another world on the denial train, even with other situations.

melissa_83 Due December 20; 3 kids; New York 1297 posts
9th Dec '12

My mom used to hit all 4 of us kids with anything from slippers to extension cords even threw a frying pan like a frisbee and hit my brother in the head with it and still to this day we are 27,29,36,38 and she still denies she abused us. I gave up on her ever admitting it. my mom is a fucked up individual. I refuse to ever hit my kids granted they have got a slap or two on their hands when they were maybe 2 or 3 but never more than that.

Vodka Knockers 1 child; North Carolina 8063 posts
9th Dec '12
Quoting BetterOffSingle!:" it was 100% abuse. you will probably never hear your mom acknowledge it. My mom still doesn't with the ... [snip!] ... I would try to just let it go. Which is VERY hard, i still have quite a bit of anger with my mom over stuff but I'm trying :/"

Eh, yeah, I probably won't ever hear even acknowledgement.
I just really can't imagine sitting there, knowing that DH was doing that to LO and doing nothing about it since that's exactly what she did. I know she was sitting on the couch, smoking a cigarette, and bitching to her friends about what I'd done via phone.
I guess I was just kind of hoping she'd changed her ways over the years, but when I brought it up to her last year it made it pretty clear she hasn't.
Kinda fuckin sucks lol...

Vodka Knockers 1 child; North Carolina 8063 posts
9th Dec '12
Quoting nursemaya -mommy to 2:" It is abuse. I would guess you will never hear an apology. Sorry :("

Yeah...You're right.
I just kind of wish I could hear her admit that she did wrong as a mother at least once. I'm all too quick to say I've made mistakes as a mother, even with LO only being two. I know I'm not perfect and I don't always do a perfect job, I'm a first timer like everyone is at one point. But that's the point, acknowledging the mistake so you can build off of it.
Maybe I can start working on that in therapy after we get the current mess solved.

Elliot Grace (17 weeks) Due September 22; 1 child; 1 angel baby; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 18143 posts
status 9th Dec '12

I have a memory like that where my dad beat the crap out of me with his bare bands in front of my mom and two younger siblings because I called him a f**king bastard (I was 7). I had bruises all over my ass and back of thighs. My mom will not talk about that night, she knows it was abuse. Sounds like your mom is in denial. I don't think she'll ever own up to it if she hasn't by now

Vodka Knockers 1 child; North Carolina 8063 posts
9th Dec '12
Quoting melissa_83:" My mom used to hit all 4 of us kids with anything from slippers to extension cords even threw a frying ... [snip!] ... to ever hit my kids granted they have got a slap or two on their hands when they were maybe 2 or 3 but never more than that."

That's why I decided not to spank LO lol...I didn't know if I'd be able to stop/draw the line, wasn't sure if I'd have the self control.
My neighbor as a kid told me their mom would put metal clothes hangers on top of the stove, pick them up with towels and hit them with them. She was fucked in the head herself...But heavy drugs like cocaine does nasty things to people.

Vodka Knockers 1 child; North Carolina 8063 posts
9th Dec '12
Quoting Julie&Collin:" Omg thats so sad im so sorry my mom Went through some depression and my older brother put her through ... [snip!] ... them welted and bleeding she never admits or apologizes for it but my brothers and dad knows she did it but ive moved on"

Looks like that's the only option really in these situations since a lot of mamas have said they went through similar things and never got an apology.
I'm sorry that happened to you as well, seems like a lot of us had a rough childhood.

Vodka Knockers 1 child; North Carolina 8063 posts
9th Dec '12
Quoting Elliot Grace's Mama:" I have a memory like that where my dad beat the crap out of me with his bare bands in front of my mom ... [snip!] ... night, she knows it was abuse. Sounds like your mom is in denial. I don't think she'll ever own up to it if she hasn't by now"

Lol, my mom is nooo stranger to the denial train.
She still doesn't acknowledge the fact I'm Atheist or bisexual because it doesn't mesh with the idea of what her daughter should be in her head. But I guess that's just her way to cope.

Vodka Knockers 1 child; North Carolina 8063 posts
9th Dec '12
Quoting Julie&Collin:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Vodka Knockers:</b>" Looks like that's the only option really ... [snip!] ... us better mommas I would take a gun to DH if he touched my son like that unless he was doing drugs or got a girl oregnant lol"

Now I have said myself that if LO ever gets a girl pregnant and doesn't step up to the plate like BD, I will beat sense into him lol.
I'd personally love to kick the shit out of BD and honestly if I could do it and get away with it, repercussion free, I would. But, we're working on that in therapy. It's never healthy to carry grudges they say.