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I don't really even know. Ms Christina Harper 2 kids; Jacksonville, Florida 353 posts
10th Dec '12

Ever feel like you are the only one attracted?



And by that I mean, do you feel like you're attracted to your SO but they could care less about you? I have felt like that for a little while now. I try and try and try to be sweet to him. I leave him little love notes, I encourage free time and gaming online with friends. I always have the house clean and ask if he needs anything, and I want more than anything just for him to want sex instead of me having to ask for it...I don't know. I am only 23 and feel as if this shouldn't be an issue yet. I haven't even been married a year. I love my husband more than words could explain, I just feel as if it's not enough. I just feel like he could care less sometimes. He is a sweetheart, and I know it. He's still the man I fell in love with, I just don't know if I did something wrong, if he is just THAT exhausted, or if the newlywed stage is really dying down, as I hoped that would never happen. This may just be a rant, but has anyone else ever felt like this?

Cordelia's Mom 33 kids; Bakersfield, California 3685 posts
10th Dec '12

I've been feeling this way a lot lately. I don't know if I'm imagining things or not. :/

Heidi's Mommy Due September 28; Mobile, Alabama 46 posts
10th Dec '12

yep, we will be starting our third year of marriage Dec. 20, and we've gone through those phases where it'll just be no intimacy for a few months then we get back on track. Just keep pushing through it or tell him how you feel too.

Ms Christina Harper 2 kids; Jacksonville, Florida 353 posts
10th Dec '12
Quoting Heidi's Mommy:" yep, we will be starting our third year of marriage Dec. 20, and we've gone through those phases where ... [snip!] ... just be no intimacy for a few months then we get back on track. Just keep pushing through it or tell him how you feel too."


I feel like when I tell him how I feel, he only see's it as me complaining and it only makes things worse.

Ryloonjimama Australia 18851 posts
10th Dec '12

I do feel at times that he doesn't care about my happiness and feelings. He's the one who always wants sex and I don't though, so then he gets upset because he thinks I don't care about him.



It's really hard cause when I'm hot, he's cold... When he's hot, I'm cold... Generally. &It's not on purpose to be a*****es, it's just being rundown, tired etc.



It's a shitty cycle, causes a lot of miscommunication, but at the end of the day, deep down I think we both know there are certain things that one does for the other that shows we do love each other.

Ms Christina Harper 2 kids; Jacksonville, Florida 353 posts
10th Dec '12
Quoting Ryloonjimama:" I do feel at times that he doesn't care about my happiness and feelings. He's the one who always wants ... [snip!] ... the day, deep down I think we both know there are certain things that one does for the other that shows we do love each other."



I get that. I have always had a really, well intense sex drive, to say the least. Ever since I met him, I wanted him. That has never changed. He was like that in the beginning, but ever since we moved back to Florida in June, after he got out of the Army, it's been an uphill battle.

Ryloonjimama Australia 18851 posts
10th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Mrs White:</b>" I feel like when I tell him how I feel, he only see's it as me complaining and it only makes things worse."</blockquote>




This is exactly how my SO takes it. I'll tell him I feel this way about that or that way about this and he'll take it as a personal attack and all hell will break loose.



It's better to be out there and hashed out, then bottled up though.

Ryloonjimama Australia 18851 posts
10th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Mrs White:</b>" I get that. I have always had a really, well intense sex drive, to say the least. Ever since I met ... [snip!] ... in the beginning, but ever since we moved back to Florida in June, after he got out of the Army, it's been an uphill battle."</blockquote>




Oh I do understand what you mean. The rare times where I want his physical attention and he doesn't seem to be interested, it makes me feel so hurt... but then I think, that's probably how I make him feel when I'm not down with it.



Maybe you just need to start taking charge more, instead of asking, just get all sexied up, think about what turns him on the most, start from there and just jump him. Then he won't be able to resist.

Cady Browne Kendrick Due February 5 (girl); 1 child; Texas 218 posts
10th Dec '12

I don't know him, and can't speak for him. But He could be at that stage where he is just so comfy in his life, that you being so awesome is an every day thing, or something he is use to by now. He may not even know that him either not noticing, or not being as excited about things as he use to might be on your mind. There is a fun little book of already made notes that you can be fun. Every day you pick out a note you want to leave for each other, or you can make your own little book with flash cards for various things. They can say anything like, "Kiss me when I least expect it", "kiss me passionately as soon as I/you get home", "cuddle for 5 minutes before going to bed", "Tell me 5 things that made you fall in love with me", or you can leave naughty notes for your spouse to randomly find like "Jump in the shower with me tonight", "I put 3 different flavored body lotion/lube/ or whatever in various places on my body, lets see if you can find them all". But make it where you each hide notes for each other to find during your day to see what each of you have to do for that day, and maybe have it where each of you have to choose a naughty one, once a week. That you can set up where one week you choose a naughty note to give to him any day during the week, and vice versa without knowing which day you will get that particular note. It don't have to be every day that you choose a note, it could be leave me a note to find once a week, or whatever/whenever you want. Another fun thing is to write stuff on your body like "I love it when you nibble here", "Kiss here", "Lick here", "Rub here" ...etc. If you have access to a Spencers store, they have several books that have really good sweet romantic ideas, or you can find a book at a bookstore to help bring the romance back into the relationship. I have one that helped give creative ideas that helped bring that newly wed feeling back and ways to make each of you feel like your spouse is still crazy about you. For the life of me I can't remember the name of the book or where I stashed it at since we moved. You can always look up "Ways to be romantic", or something like that online and get some good ideas/advice. Everyone gets out of the honeymoon phase and they say the first two years of a marriage are the hardest. I hope you find something to bring that spark back where you feel he is still interested. :-) Good luck

Ms Christina Harper 2 kids; Jacksonville, Florida 353 posts
10th Dec '12
Quoting Cady Browne Kendrick:" I don't know him, and can't speak for him. But He could be at that stage where he is just so comfy in ... [snip!] ... are the hardest. I hope you find something to bring that spark back where you feel he is still interested. :-) Good luck"


That's an extremely cute idea. Thanks. I hope it gets better.