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Cast Your Vote:

    • miscarriage -- Votes: 43
    • premature -- Votes: 7
    • stillborn -- Votes: 2
    • genetic disorder after birth -- Votes: 1
    • defect after birth -- Votes: 1
    • illness after birth -- Votes: 0
    • sids -- Votes: 1
    • accident after birth -- Votes: 0
    • murder -- Votes: 1
    • other -- Votes: 4
Ellie. 34 kids; Arizona 25368 posts
10th Dec '12
Quoting Syndal:" I saw the heart beat the last time I was pregnant 5 hours before I started bleeding heavily and miscarried. ... [snip!] ... So I had to get a doppler to ease my mind. 12 weeks yesterday! :D Heard my baby at.. 11 weeks? 10 weeks? I can't remember now."



Kinda what just happened with me. I went in and saw a strong heartbeat of 170. Went to the ER for some spotting and they said based on size, it probably passed the same day or right after. :(

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 21595 posts
10th Dec '12

I've lost two. My first was my daughter who passed at 2 hours old after being born at 41 weeks. Very unexpected. Her lungs hadn't developed correctly.



Second was a miscarriage. At 7 weeks

user banned 1 child; Boston, Massachusetts 30985 posts
10th Dec '12

Ive had two miscarriages. One at 6-9 weeks, last year, forget exactly when, and several years before that I had a miscarriage at 17 weeks.



I dont count miscarriages as losing a child. I think its awful to refer to it as such, and just a slap in the face to women who have lost real children.

Ellie. 34 kids; Arizona 25368 posts
10th Dec '12
Quoting shes*almost*one!:" Ive had two miscarriages. One at 6-9 weeks, last year, forget exactly when, and several years before ... [snip!] ... as losing a child. I think its awful to refer to it as such, and just a slap in the face to women who have lost real children. "


I think women view their losses as their children. Regardless of if they have been born or not. They have strong emotions, love, plans, etc. And all that is taken away. True they did not spend the actual time with them, but I can understand how it is still painful. Personally, I have not lost a child, so I can't compare the pain, and it sounds like you haven't either. Guess we'd never really know unless we're unfortunate enough to lose living children.

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 21595 posts
10th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:</b>" I think women view their losses as their children. Regardless of if they have been born or not. They ... [snip!] ... and it sounds like you haven't either. Guess we'd never really know unless we're unfortunate enough to lose living children."</blockquote>



I have lost a child that was living and I don't feel saying a miscarriage is losing a child is a slap in the face to me or anybody else. A loss is a loss. I would be crushed if someone who had their child for 16 years said my loss of 2 hour old daughter wasnt losing a child.

user banned 1 child; Boston, Massachusetts 30985 posts
10th Dec '12
Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:" I think women view their losses as their children. Regardless of if they have been born or not. They ... [snip!] ... and it sounds like you haven't either. Guess we'd never really know unless we're unfortunate enough to lose living children."


I see where you're coming from, I just personally do not consider miscarriages as "children" or "losing a child" ... I think its ignorant to say you've lost a "child" when you haven't lost a *real* child. This probably sounds awful, and I dont know to fix it, but I hope you somewhat catch my drift. Even my loss at 17 weeks I couldnt bring myself to mourn as if I'd lost a real child. It was more of less mourning the loss of something that never was, and the loss of memories never to be made.

Ellie. 34 kids; Arizona 25368 posts
10th Dec '12
Quoting shes*almost*one!:" I see where you're coming from, I just personally do not consider miscarriages as "children" or "losing ... [snip!] ... a real child. It was more of less mourning the loss of something that never was, and the loss of memories never to be made. "


I understand what you mean, I guess I just took it a little harsher, since I just had a D&C last week. I think in my case.... it hits me hard because I'm turning 35 soon, and this was pretty much our last chance on expanding our family. I'm entirely too scared to try at this age. So I'm mourning differently than I think I normally would.

user banned 1 child; Boston, Massachusetts 30985 posts
10th Dec '12
Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:" I understand what you mean, I guess I just took it a little harsher, since I just had a D&C last ... [snip!] ... on expanding our family. I'm entirely too scared to try at this age. So I'm mourning differently than I think I normally would."


Sorry sweetie. I didnt forget about your loss, and I wasnt trying to offend you or hurt you by what I said. I hope you dont take it like that.



You're still really young. If you want more children, dont let your age stop you. 20-30 years ago 35 was the start of what would be considered advanced age mothers, but now its pretty average for even a first time mother to have a child in her mid-late 30's, even into her 40s. Plus, you're thin, fit, healthy. Perfectly healthy candidate for a new pregnancy :-) i hope you get what you wish for. ill be thinking about you and sending you that mental baby glitter

-C.Lit-:) 64 kids; Italy 35513 posts
10th Dec '12
Quoting shes*almost*one!:" I see where you're coming from, I just personally do not consider miscarriages as "children" or "losing ... [snip!] ... a real child. It was more of less mourning the loss of something that never was, and the loss of memories never to be made. "


i understand what you mean totally.



i even experioed the loss of my daughters totally differently, one passed away in the morning, and angie was here for 10 days-




compared to the mc i had that was something totally different.

Ellie. 34 kids; Arizona 25368 posts
10th Dec '12
Quoting shes*almost*one!:" Sorry sweetie. I didnt forget about your loss, and I wasnt trying to offend you or hurt you by what ... [snip!] ... for a new pregnancy :-) i hope you get what you wish for. ill be thinking about you and sending you that mental baby glitter "


Thank you for your kind words. You are so sweet. I have to get a check up in a week and I have to make the decision on whether to get permanent birth control or not. I think I'm just overly emotional about it. No offense taken. :)

-C.Lit-:) 64 kids; Italy 35513 posts
10th Dec '12
Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:" Thank you for your kind words. You are so sweet. I have to get a check up in a week and I have to make ... [snip!] ... the decision on whether to get permanent birth control or not. I think I'm just overly emotional about it. No offense taken. :)"


i think you should still have faith.



i know i am. and thats something no one can take away from me, and also something no one will be able to take away from you. miracles DO happen, no matter how stormy things may look, they DO happen. and we DO DESERVE them to happen to us!

Ellie. 34 kids; Arizona 25368 posts
10th Dec '12
Quoting -C.Lit-:):" i understand what you mean totally. i even experioed the loss of my daughters totally differently, ... [snip!] ... passed away in the morning, and angie was here for 10 days- compared to the mc i had that was something totally different."


I am so sorry for your losses. :(

user banned 1 child; Boston, Massachusetts 30985 posts
10th Dec '12
Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:" Thank you for your kind words. You are so sweet. I have to get a check up in a week and I have to make ... [snip!] ... the decision on whether to get permanent birth control or not. I think I'm just overly emotional about it. No offense taken. :)"


I think you should give it another go. You really sounds like you want another child, and you're not old at all. Im always around if you want to chat about anything! I'm not a mean b***h like some weirdos on here think. I just don't tolerate stupid very well :-)



-- my name is Jamie by the way!

Ellie. 34 kids; Arizona 25368 posts
10th Dec '12
Quoting shes*almost*one!:" I think you should give it another go. You really sounds like you want another child, and you're not ... [snip!] ... not a mean b***h like some weirdos on here think. I just don't tolerate stupid very well :-) -- my name is Jamie by the way!"


Thank you again. I'm Ellie! My husband says maybe in a few years, so we'll get some temporary BC and reconsider it in a few years. I have a healthy 17 year old and healthy 2 year old. I cant really complain though, ya know?

Cordelia's Mom 33 kids; Bakersfield, California 3685 posts
10th Dec '12
Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:" Kinda what just happened with me. I went in and saw a strong heartbeat of 170. Went to the ER for some spotting and they said based on size, it probably passed the same day or right after. :("


I was at the dr for spotting when I saw the heartbeat, I was so relieved. It sucked so bad going home thinking I am perfectly fine then that happened.