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Will it be your childs choice to be gay? ~Elliott's.Mommy~ 1 child; 1 angel baby; Eugene, Oregon 3801 posts
10th Dec '12

My 12 year old sister has decided she is bisexual because shes afraid of men. I told my mom because my brother was making fun of her. And she got so mad and screamed at my sister and told her that that is not a choice.... And that God is mad at her. My mom has had a bad day, as she almost died, but I dont think thats an excuse to lash out on my sister.... I will read your responses but may not be able to reply because my phone is dumb



... I did go to my sister with open arms. In fact she cried on my shoulder for a while tonight because shes upset my mom is mad., and secondly, I told my mom because I wanted her to stop my brother from making fun of her




Im trying to answer questions this way... We had a bad childhood. My mom was raped by our father and my sister heard it and it affects her... She still talks about boys but shes also very cautious around them. I am confused about that too.... But only she knows her reasons. I told her I support her and love her the same. It made me sad that our own mom doesnt support her

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42775 posts
10th Dec '12

No, you can't choose it. Why is your sister scared of men?

Tash+1 1 child; Canton, Ohio 7839 posts
10th Dec '12

Eh, its most likely a phase. I was curious at that age too, because all my friends said they were. I grew out of it. But your mom was very, very wrong :?

aℓyssa Due October 21 (girl); 1 child; Manhattan, KS, United States 18863 posts
10th Dec '12

First off, I don't think it was right of you to tattle to your mom.




Second, it's not right for you brother to be making fun of her, but you should know your parents well enough to know how they would respond with that kind of news.



Third, your sister is 12. She's curious and confused. YOU should have been there for her with open arms.



Fourth, I'm sorry about your mom.

+Sunshine+ 2 kids; Texas 4149 posts
10th Dec '12

Wouldn't that make her a lesbian instead of a bisexual because of her fear of men??

DeanJade&Mak's Mom 3 kids; Covina, CA, United States 8822 posts
10th Dec '12

That sucks... I was around 12ish when I realized I was bi... I never came out and told my mom, but she just figured lol... that sucks for ur sister, I would try and talk with her about it, since she already had them lash out at her she may try to hide things, that was worst feeling ever :(

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 22466 posts
10th Dec '12

Being gay or bisexual isnt a choice. Why is she afraid of men is the bigger issue?

JKR 2 kids; ---------------------, TX, United States 1013 posts
10th Dec '12

that does not sound very adult of your mother regardless of what happened to her, maybe you guys could have told her another day though if that happened to her today.Also I could care less if my child wants to love a man or a woman it is their choice as long as they are happy. Why is your sister afraid of men?

♥Mj&Daryl♥ (boy); 2 kids; Spokane, Washington 2392 posts
10th Dec '12

*to BE gay*



And yes, of course it will be my child's choice. I will support my children in whatever kind of love they choose :)...well, mostly. Gay, straight...don't matter :)



What you Mom did was EXTREMELY wrong and hurtful to your little sister, same with your brother making fun of her!



I hope you are being there for her, and letting her talk and vent. It could just be a stage, but it could also be real. Be there for her, since everyone else is freaking out :?



Wish you the best of luck in dealing with the situation, and hope that your brother and Mom come around and learn to love your sister no matter who she is.

♥MomToSilas+1♥ Due December 9; 1 child; ., IL, United States 10884 posts
status 10th Dec '12

She's 12 so it may just be a phase. I don't get why she fears men..

~Elliott's.Mommy~ 1 child; 1 angel baby; Eugene, Oregon 3801 posts
11th Dec '12

I answered you in the OP. Sorry for any typos. This phone is dumb

Tarynosaurus Rex San Antonio, Texas 1271 posts
11th Dec '12

Sexuality is fluid. Not everyone is *born* gay or straight or bisexual. Your preferences can change over time. For some people they *are* born totally gay and it never changes, or totally straight and it never changes. But to say that your sexuality is set in stone the day you are born is ignorant to the full range of human sexuality. I didn't start liking girls until I was like 19.

The Master 2 kids; Perth, Australia 19989 posts
11th Dec '12
Quoting Tarynosaurus Rex:" Sexuality is fluid. Not everyone is *born* gay or straight or bisexual. Your preferences can change over ... [snip!] ... stone the day you are born is ignorant to the full range of human sexuality. I didn't start liking girls until I was like 19. "


:!:



I'm pansexual so my sexuality is incredibly fluid.



OP your mum sounds like a religious zealot and an idiot.
Your sister is who she is ... her fear of men needs to be looked at seriously.

Tarynosaurus Rex San Antonio, Texas 1271 posts
11th Dec '12
Quoting The (super kinky) Master:" :!: I'm pansexual so my sexuality is incredibly fluid. OP your mum sounds like a religious zealot and an idiot. Your sister is who she is ... her fear of men needs to be looked at seriously."

:!:

user banned 1 child; Nunya, CA, United States 6369 posts
11th Dec '12
Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" Being gay or bisexual isnt a choice. Why is she afraid of men is the bigger issue?"


It can absolutely be a choice. I know people who have made that choice.