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No judgement. BrittanyGee Due July 20; North Carolina 13 posts
12th Dec '12

Hello, I'm Brittany before I begin my story I'd like to ask for no judgement. I stumbled across this site on the internet and thought to ask here because I have no one else to turn to. I'm 18 years old and just found out I am 8 weeks pregnant to say I'm happy is an understatement. This baby is very much wanted but I can't say the same with my boyfriend(19 years old). He has no idea I'm pregnant and neither does anyone else in my family. I'm kept gently trying to bring up the subject to my boyfriend saying things like, "What if we had a baby like now?" He'd reply that we'd "get rid of it" and I know he's always felt this way, but it breaks my heart to hear him say this.



We got pregnant because about 8 weeks ago, I was sick and had been taking antibiotics, before you say it I know how stupid I am for not protecting myself more but -I- am ready to accept this responsibility and care and love for this child but I don't know if the same goes for my boy friend, I also don't know if I'd have the support of my family.



I feel very alone and stuck, I'd appreciate anyone's opinion especially if they've been through anything similar, thank you.

loser mom 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Oslo, ,, Norway 10778 posts
12th Dec '12

Quit playing head games with your boyfriend. The sooner you tell everyone, the better.

LolaMcKitten Due May 30 (girl); 27 kids; Beverly Hills, California 15496 posts
12th Dec '12

There isn't a whole lot you can do. I was in the same position - 18, my boyfriend was not ready to be a dad and I was keeping that baby.



Time went on, he broke up with me, then came back but we are no longer together.



If your going to keep the baby you have to be prepared to do it on your own and for there to be people who are not happy for you and who are going to put you down and judge you for being so young. My own mother was like that even though she helped me out a lot.



If you haven't already, tell him you are pregnant and that he needs to decide whether he is going to be with you or not. Tell him that abortion is not an option and if he tries to force it on you, you will leave and cut him out of your life. At that point he makes a choice and you both have to live with it.



Good luck.

Puff the Magic Dragon! 15 kids; Ontario 14235 posts
12th Dec '12

tell him. So that you can move forward with big decisions.



He needs to know, yesterday.

Pennsatucky Due August 17 (boy); 1 child; 1 angel baby; New York 2907 posts
12th Dec '12

We all make mistakes. I believe things happen for a reason, and at least you were attempting to protect yourself. My attitude is that he also shares a responsibility since if you don't want a child, you shouldn't rely on someone else to make certain of it (i.e, he could have still worn condoms and probably should have because of simple human error)....as for you, a father sometimes does not become a father until he meets his child...very seldom does a man look at his child and say he wants no part of it...go through with your pregnancy. "Getting rid of it" is only something you should do if YOU want to, not somebody else.



He may take a long time to come around. It may take a few weeks, or sadly, nine months. Do what you is in YOUR best interests, not his.

BrittanyGee Due July 20; North Carolina 13 posts
12th Dec '12

I'm not playing head games. I feel like I'm burdening him with something he obviously does not want.

Damien & Wyatt's Mommy 2 kids; Junction City, Kansas 25956 posts
12th Dec '12

You need to tell him. And if you want to keep the baby, then you keep the baby and start figuring things out, if he doesn't want the baby then he doesn't have to stay in the picture. You can be a single mom and survive, I was a single mom for a good little while before I met my DH. It's hard at times but can be done. Good luck! If you have any questions feel free to pm me!

Puff the Magic Dragon! 15 kids; Ontario 14235 posts
12th Dec '12
Quoting BrittanyGee:" I'm not playing head games. I feel like I'm burdening him with something he obviously does not want. "

so tell him.



Then you can decide as a couple, and individually what to do.

J+D=4 4 kids; Beverly Hills, California 14683 posts
12th Dec '12
Quoting BrittanyGee:" I'm not playing head games. I feel like I'm burdening him with something he obviously does not want. "


then tell him, and move on. if you are happy and he is not, there is your answer. be happy without him

Mother of amazing kids 3 kids; Arizona 257 posts
12th Dec '12

You dont have to get rid of it and he can't force you to either its your body not his. Most of the time they will change their minds. Dont feel alone there is people out there that will support you and help you with whatever you need.

loser mom 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Oslo, ,, Norway 10778 posts
12th Dec '12
Quoting BrittanyGee:" I'm not playing head games. I feel like I'm burdening him with something he obviously does not want. "



He says that now because he doesn't know you're pregnant. He might think differently if he KNOWS you're carrying his baby.

BrittanyGee Due July 20; North Carolina 13 posts
12th Dec '12

Thank you, everyone.



Originally, I wanted this baby but being around all this negativity is making me not want it, though I have always believed woman have a right to chose I also believed I could never personally do it..



I don't know how you all feel about abortion or if you'll hate me for saying this but abortion isn't totally not an option..



I'm very confused, emotional, and hormonal. I apologize if my reasoning isn't making sense I just don't know how to feel.

.Solange. 1 child; Montreal, 5566 posts
12th Dec '12

You posted this in abortion survivors? I think teen pregnancy is a better fit...



I'm sure you are going through a lot of emotions right now, but you know that you can't hide the fact that you're pregnant forever. Your baby and yourself need the proper medical care. You need to tell your family, and of course, your boyfriend.



You can PM me, i'm here if you need to vent, have questions, or just want to talk.
Good luck

kimzog 1 child; Utah 168 posts
12th Dec '12

I was in a similar situation when I had my daughter 3 years ago. Both my parents and my boyfriend pushed for adoption. I ended up leaving my boyfriend because of it and ignored the pressure that my family was putting on me and made the decision that I ultimately thought was best for me and my daughter not anyone else. As soon as she came into the world everything worked out, my family adores her and helps out more than I even expected and my daughters father, well he's a dumb ass and is involved when it's convinent for him. Talk to your boyfriend, let him know the situation and if he doesn't like it, then that sucks because when it comes down to it, it's you who decides what happens. Good luck and feel free to PM me if you need to.

J+D=4 4 kids; Beverly Hills, California 14683 posts
12th Dec '12
Quoting BrittanyGee:" Thank you, everyone. Originally, I wanted this baby but being around all this negativity is making ... [snip!] ... I'm very confused, emotional, and hormonal. I apologize if my reasoning isn't making sense I just don't know how to feel."


all this negativity? i didn't see anyone in here say anything negative about you and your baby. but I still think you need to tell him before you make that decision. I was still in high school when I got pregnant. hubby was with me when I found out. he totally reacted better than I thought possible, and manned-up. he is now my husband of 9 years, and we have 4 kids. it can work out.