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Couples counseling? The Fantastic 4 2 kids; New York 6947 posts
14th Dec '12

So and I have been together 8 yrs. We recently got engaged. Im very unhappy with a lot of things going on and I want to save this relationship. Has anyone done couples counseling? Did it work? Does insurace cover it?

melindapple 1 child; Michigan 5420 posts
14th Dec '12

are you religious? DH and I haven't done any couples counseling, but when we were engaged we had to do marriage counseling for the pastor to marry us. It was the best experience. We got to learn each others perspective on things, could talk freely without fighting, and honestly fixed problems we didn't even know we had. It prepared us to fix future problems as well, so that our marriage would last. As for the insurance thing, I have no idea if it covers it, sorry.




ETA: not marriage counseling, PRE-marital counseling! lol

The Fantastic 4 2 kids; New York 6947 posts
14th Dec '12
Quoting melindapple:" are you religious? DH and I haven't done any couples counseling, but when we were engaged we had to do ... [snip!] ... future problems as well, so that our marriage would last. As for the insurance thing, I have no idea if it covers it, sorry."


We arent! I really think we need a 3rd party to help us work things out. Its like a dead end street no matter what corner you turn. Its so sad and I dont think he even realizes how bad this can get!

DifferentDay Due June 2; 34 kids; Tennessee 3467 posts
14th Dec '12

We never had insurance to cover it so we paid outta pocket or found charity places that did smaller payments. Last time was terrible she told him to take our kids n leave me. So no it didn't work. It helped him realize he was depressed n that was hurting our marriage that n him not wanting/feeling he didn't need to work anymore for 2 yrs. after he told me what the counselor chick said we stopped going n fixed sh*t ourselves.

The Fantastic 4 2 kids; New York 6947 posts
14th Dec '12
Quoting DifferentDay:" We never had insurance to cover it so we paid outta pocket or found charity places that did smaller payments. ... [snip!] ... didn't need to work anymore for 2 yrs. after he told me what the counselor chick said we stopped going n fixed sh*t ourselves."


wow thats very harsh of her. I hope things worked out for the best!

DifferentDay Due June 2; 34 kids; Tennessee 3467 posts
14th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Fantastic 4:</b>" wow thats very harsh of her. I hope things worked out for the best! "</blockquote>




It did he got a full time job so he wasn't underfoot n we stopped fighting so much. I took over finances bc he's a spender but had to admit it first, we figured we've made it 8 yrs total w.o outside help we don't need some stranger who doesn't know us or how we operate telling us what a good wife/husband is n our "roles". I think OP maybe pre marital counseling wouldn't hurt. Try a few sessions n see if u like it. Could u both be freaking out about the big commitment part of being engaged? and it's like anything else a counselor may not be a good fit so shop around. Ask for referrals from friends family coworkers etc.

The Fantastic 4 2 kids; New York 6947 posts
14th Dec '12
Quoting DifferentDay:" <blockquote><b>Quoting The Fantastic 4:</b>" wow thats very harsh of her. I hope things ... [snip!] ... it's like anything else a counselor may not be a good fit so shop around. Ask for referrals from friends family coworkers etc."


I dont think its the engagement. From my side I feel like in the past 4 years not much as changed. I do everything. I cook, clean, take care of a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old. I also work at home over night most nights. He works 8 hours a day and comes home acting entitled. He wants to nap and do what ever he wants. He has a headache every days too. I dont have no time for anything. Its taken him 4 years to become a better father since our daughter was born but he still calls me over to change a pamper or bath the kids. Its like so old already. We lost US and Im just a parent/maid and he works. We dont go out on dates, go out with friends, we do nothing as a couple.



Last friday is what really the straw the broke the camels back for me. He was too tired to decorate the christmas tree with us. every year for the past 4 years its something. We have yet to decorate the tree as a family. Im disappointed and I realized maybe things will never change.

DifferentDay Due June 2; 34 kids; Tennessee 3467 posts
14th Dec '12

Ur not alone lots of women feel like u n have a guy who does what u say he does. I'm kind of a b so I don't put up w that crap n he knows it. Ill cook n clean only for me n the kids if he's acting super lazy ie those 2 yrs. maybe he's in a slump? Guys get down n depressed too. does he talk to u bout what's changed for him? Maybe it's work? I mean even if u saw a counselor for couples n then separate it may help.

I♡C&R. 2 kids; Thornton, CO, United States 24857 posts
status 14th Dec '12
Quoting The Fantastic 4:" I dont think its the engagement. From my side I feel like in the past 4 years not much as changed. I ... [snip!] ... its something. We have yet to decorate the tree as a family. Im disappointed and I realized maybe things will never change. "

You are not alone. I am in the same boat right now. It's so one sided it's not even funny :( I am thinking of leaving him.

Kelly+Brandon=Blake 1 child; Maryland 1260 posts
14th Dec '12

We tried it for a little and it helped but when we had our son, we let it slip and quit going. Now we're talking about getting back in it lol. Not to completely fix all of our problems but help us help ourselves..if that makes sense lol