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Wanting to have a baby at 18? eMiLy_333 British Columbia 9 posts
15th Dec '12

So I'm new here and honestly I'm not ENTIRELY sure how it all works. I don't really have a specific question, I just maybe want advice or to hear stories of other people with the same situation?
Ok, so right now I'm only 17, and will be 18 in march. I'm in a relationship and have been for two years, I'm going to be "officially" moving in with him into a townhome (with a roommate to help pay) next July. I will be graduating high school in June. My problem, which I'm hoping i'm not the only one, is I want a baby very very badly. I have for years, and in the past year (since my cousin had a baby boy a year ago, she is 21 now) it has gotten unbearable. So me and my boyfriend have talked about it a lot and we agreed that we would start trying for a baby next july, right after we move. I'm terrified of my family. My parents are divorced, and my mom always said that if I get pregnant young she would be dissapointed but always support me, but dads side wants me to attend college right away (I'm wanting to go to a hair college and become a hairdresser) but I would rather have a baby and wait a few years until he/she is in elementary then do my college and start all that. I want a baby more than I want to go to college. I don't know how I'd tell my dads side when I am pregnant? I know I'm not pregnant yet, and I won't be for like minimum 8 months, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I know 18 is young, but it's all I've wanted for a few years. My boyfriend will be working full time we've already discussed all the money. So what I need advice on is how to tell my dads side (they will be VERY mad) and also I'm wondering what the average time is it takes to get pregnant? As in within the first month (two, three, four...etc)?
Thanks guys. Sorry for the long post. Maybe helped talking about it a little to someone other than my boyfriend.

Emma's Mama ♥ 1 child; 1067 posts
15th Dec '12

I didn't even stop reading this... I just stopped after I read "I want a baby very very badly."



You may think you want a baby at 18, but you DON'T. You don't want to have a baby when you aren't married (in a stable relationship where you can be supported), have the finances to do so, etc. etc. Enjoy being a teenager. Go to college. Do something else.

V & E's Mom! 2 kids; Stockton, California 4782 posts
15th Dec '12

i wouldnt do it. i have 2 kids with the same guys. one of them is unborn, we were togetehr for 4 years. we tried for this baby im carrying now, for him to break up with me when i was 10 weeks pregnant, and had a 18 month old at the same time. so i am now a struggling single mom of 2. if you guys cant afford rent by yourselves, i wouldnt have a baby.

Emma's Mama ♥ 1 child; 1067 posts
15th Dec '12

The more I read this I really just don't understand your mindset. Why would you want a baby more than you want to go to college? How do you think you're going to support you and your child if you aren't going to have a career of you own?

. , Richmond, VA, United States 74756 posts
15th Dec '12

The average is about a year but it's different for everyone.



18 is very young and teen moms generally have a hard time finishing college before 30 if at all. It is way harder to go to school with a child. From experience, my advice is to wait until you finish school. Not only for your child but for you.

Mrs. Conan O'Brien 2 kids; Colorado 20919 posts
15th Dec '12

So have you not actually lived with this guy yet? I would live together for at least a year before trying to have a baby. Also, how old is this guy? Is he really that financially stable? I'd wait a few years if I was you.

Noneya Business Due August 29; 1 child; Pennsylvania 11617 posts
status 15th Dec '12

Don't do it. Go to college. Have fun being 21 without a baby. Know for sure this relationship is going to work. Also, it sucks to be pregnant with roommates who can't understand you're pregnant. My roommate was a b***h to BD and I. Me and her were best friends before everything too. Trust me, wait a few years. I was 19 when I had LO. BD and I were engaged, had plans on getting married but everything fell through. Dating with a baby is hard and I'm so lonely right now. Money is always tight and going to college with a baby is hard. Even though LO goes to daycare when I'm in class, it's hard to study when he wants attention or wants to play.

Mrs. Conan O'Brien 2 kids; Colorado 20919 posts
15th Dec '12

Oh, I missed the part where you're also going to have a roommate to 'help pay.'



Yeaaaaa. No.

Emma's Mama ♥ 1 child; 1067 posts
15th Dec '12

This just makes me think that this is a fake profile. Typical first post and living in a random other country.

Mrs. Conan O'Brien 2 kids; Colorado 20919 posts
15th Dec '12

^^^ um, delete that or get modded :?

Sofie+#2 Due March 10; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7383 posts
15th Dec '12

Get your career started first. It will make things so much better, I promise.
Live YOUR life first. Spend the money you would spend on a baby on travelling, do crazy irresponsible stuff with your boyfriend and just live.
Go to hair college, work for a few years, get some savings together and THEN have a baby.



I kinda think there's probably nothing we can say that will change your mind, but I hope what I've said does. I'm 18 and my daughter is about to turn 2, I love her to pieces but I wish I would have waited until I had been through university at least.

IDID-VBAC 12/09 2 kids; Alaska 44106 posts
15th Dec '12

Go to college and have a life before baby.



I had #1 at 18 (15 days before I turned 19) and although I wouldn't change it now I wish I would have waited. I would be a year away from being done with my Masters at this point and instead I am only 9 months away from my Bachelors and still have my Masters and possibly Doctorate to go.



You may 'think' you want a baby and a family (I did) but in reality it is too young, there is too much of your teenage and early 20s life to miss out on.

♥Mj&Daryl♥ (boy); 2 kids; Spokane, Washington 2392 posts
15th Dec '12

My sister had her first at 18, and her second 18 months later.
It's doable.



I was surprised when I was 20 with my first, and when he was 4 months old I went college and am almost finished with my first certificate/license and I'm currently 5 weeks pregnant.



I don't regret it, my sister doesn't regret it. I mean, just be prepared if shit doesn't work out with SO- pregnancy AND living together CHANGE EVERYTHING.

LolaMcKitten Due May 30 (girl); 27 kids; Beverly Hills, California 15496 posts
15th Dec '12

NO way do you want to be in that position and have a baby. Aside from the fact that you are still too young to really know how your relationship will go - if you can't afford a place without room mates, then you really can't afford a baby!



Go to college, get an education, have fun and in 4, 5, 6 years, you may be ready both emotionally and financially. If you guys love each other, then you will still be together then and be prepared for a baby.

NewMommyXOXO 1 child; South Carolina 1183 posts
15th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting ECT:</b>" I didn't even stop reading this... I just stopped after I read "I want a baby very very badly." You ... [snip!] ... where you can be supported), have the finances to do so, etc. etc. Enjoy being a teenager. Go to college. Do something else."</blockquote>




i agree 100%`