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I'm really not sure what to do....(long) Mandi Bass 1 child; Minnesota 1067 posts
status 15th Dec '12

I had my son on 9/28/12. He came extremely early due to severe Pre-Eclampsia followed by a Placental Abruption and massive hemorrhaging. He's been in the NICU all this time.
It was recommended by my team of doctor's that I get my tubes tied and don't have anymore children. My uterus was damaged during the emergency c-section and has the potential for previa or another extreme abruption if I get pregnant again. I was all for getting the Tubal done, but it turns out that you have to be 24 to get help covering the cost and I am only 22.
Fast Forward to today.



I just took two pregnancy tests and they both came back positive.



We've been so careful. I'm on Implanon (inserted 11/20/12) and we didn't have sex at all before I got it. We had sex the day I had it put in, but we also used a condom. We've used a condom every time since then because I got pregnant with our son while I was on Depo. Once, and only once, the condom tore, and apparently I got pregnant.



I'm struggling now because I've always been raised to not believe in Abortion. I don't believe in getting an abortion unless you've been raped. But here I am, questioning all of this because if I carry on with this pregnancy, there is a high probability that I will die.



I'm so conflicted and can't figure out what I should do. What I want to do and what needs to be done are two very different things.



My son will finally be coming home in 3 weeks. I can't die on him. I almost died to have him, and he's fought so long and hard to get home to us. I can't be pregnant again. It's to dangerous for myself and the baby.



I know what I need to do, I just can't seem to make that phone call. I'm unsure of my ability to carry through with an abortion, even though I'm aware that it's really my only option. Any advice that you have would be very much appreciated. I'm hanging by a thread here and just don't know what to do.

[♥]Mrs. Taylor 18 kids; Texas 12250 posts
15th Dec '12

So sorry you're having to go through this.



In this kind of situation you have to do what's best for your baby and your health. You're not doing this just because you don't want to deal with it, you're doing it to potentially save your life and insure that your baby has his mother.

Raωkeℓ 1 child; Costa Rica 8257 posts
15th Dec '12

In this situation, I would think about what would happen if my son didn't have his mother to take care of him. You already have a child that needs your love, attention, and care- I wouldn't risk my life in chances that he would not have me in his life.



I wish you the best in whatever decision you choose. Make you sure you are 100% with whatever you are ready to do. I wish you luck. I hope everything works out for you mama.

Tiffany Knickerbocker 19 kids; Indiana 519 posts
15th Dec '12

I would consider abortion in your case. I would not want my kids growing up without a Mommy. Good luck in whatever you decide.

Momma x 2 18 kids; Whiskey d**k Mountain, WA, United States 1372 posts
15th Dec '12

I am very sorry to hear what you're going through.



Honestly, as tough as it would be, if I were in your shoes I would want to do what was best for my health and my newborn child. I would speak with your doctor about this before scheduling anything, but if things are as serious as you say, you may very well only have one option. Good luck in whatever you choose!

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
15th Dec '12

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I hope that knowing that you're making this difficult choice FOR your exisiting child brings you some peace. I think you must be so very strong to be able to do something that hurts you but is in the best interest of your family as it is. He will be so greateful to have a mother there to love, support and raise him. He proud of yourself momma, you're Puttig your little one's welfare and happiness ahead of your own beliefs and that is extremely admirable.



I do have to recommend you go through with the procedure sooner rather than later, the longer you wait the harder it will be. I also recommend you seek some counciling to help you deal with any negative feelings you might have after the fact. If your insurance knows that pregnancy is a life threatening condition for you, do you think they would be more likely to cover some of the cost?

Monkey Nuts Australia 4572 posts
16th Dec '12

I'm really sorry you in this situation.



If I was you, I would think of my son and my health and have an abortion.
It won't be an easy decision or choice to make, but you've gotta think of the life you already have.
Your son deserves a mom.

What's wrong, flat face? TTC since Jul 2012; 1 child; 3 angel babies; Texas 13678 posts
16th Dec '12

I would very strongly consider abortion in your case because of the massive possibility that this will happen again and since your body hasn't had enough time to fully heal it could be worse than what happened last time. If I was in your shoes I would definitely be thinking about the possibility of leaving my husband and son behind on this earth, which I would do almost anything to avoid that.