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Maria + Cory = Alexis 17 kids; Middleport, Ohio 1075 posts
Dec 16th '12

I just wanted you guys input. I am a first time mother and my main concern is protecting my daughter. I am taking what you guys say into account. That is why I asked. I didn't asked just so I could go with what i have already came up with. I am not a heartless person. I spent my whole life knowing that my grandparents didn't want me even though they lived in the same small town. I know it is important to have extended family. I just wanted to see if I was making the right decision or if I was making it out of anger. I want to do what is right for my daughter. And if letting her around her grandfather is what is right then I will do it.

Maria + Cory = Alexis 17 kids; Middleport, Ohio 1075 posts
Dec 16th '12
Quoting Supafly★:" I do think you're making the choice out of anger. Wait until she actually gets here and they visit her. That first visit will prompt you on what you feel is the right thing to do. "

Should I let them come to the hospital or wait until she is home? Keep in mind I really hate the stepmother.

MonkeyMel 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 26202 posts
Dec 16th '12
Quoting Maria + Cory = Alexis Mar:" Should I let them come to the hospital or wait until she is home? Keep in mind I really hate the stepmother."


If it were me, I'd let them come to the hospital if they wanted, but not the delivery. Tell them that you don't want anyone visiting that first day. I think if you banned them from the hospital all together that your actions would set a precedent for how it will go from then on, if you understand what I mean....

Maria + Cory = Alexis 17 kids; Middleport, Ohio 1075 posts
Dec 16th '12
Quoting Colt's mommy:" If it were me, I'd let them come to the hospital if they wanted, but not the delivery. Tell them that ... [snip!] ... all together that your actions would set a precedent for how it will go from then on, if you understand what I mean.... "

Okay. I love my own family very much but don't even want them there for the delivery. Which makes me feel a little bad because I was there for the delivery of all my nieces and nephews. But I just want time alone with Lexi before I share her with the world. I will invite them, but the hospital is two counties away from where they live so I am not sure they will even make the trip.

Maria + Cory = Alexis 17 kids; Middleport, Ohio 1075 posts
Dec 16th '12
Quoting Supafly★:" But if you don't want them at the hospital, you should say something like, I'm not comfortable with ANY ... [snip!] ... to feeding her, feel better, ect. Whatever the reason is, make sure you tell them it has nothing to do with THEM personally. "

My family won't take it personally. My sister never felt the way I feel about Lexi. They weren't excited to be pregnant or to become mothers. They tell me all the time I love Lexi too much and she isn't even here. We have different views on children. Don't get me wrong they love their children. But it isn't the same as my love for Lexi. She is my everything, she means more to me than anything in the world.

MonkeyMel 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 26202 posts
Dec 16th '12
Quoting Supafly★:" But if you don't want them at the hospital, you should say something like, I'm not comfortable with ANY ... [snip!] ... to feeding her, feel better, ect. Whatever the reason is, make sure you tell them it has nothing to do with THEM personally. "


I agree with this too!

MonkeyMel 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 26202 posts
Dec 16th '12
Quoting Supafly★:" Not sure if you can love your child too much but okay. I personally think mothers have a much better ... [snip!] ... and such but if it is possible for you to hold and bond with her right after birth, it will be the best thing for you and her. "


OT but I love your avi!! I always have to watch it a few times when I see it!

Maria + Cory = Alexis 17 kids; Middleport, Ohio 1075 posts
Dec 16th '12
Quoting Supafly★:" Not sure if you can love your child too much but okay. I personally think mothers have a much better ... [snip!] ... and such but if it is possible for you to hold and bond with her right after birth, it will be the best thing for you and her. "

That is what I want. Cory already knows that I get her first. I have done a lot of research on what is best for her. I take every parenting class and birthing class they offer around here. My Help Me Grow rep said I was the most prepared mother she has ever seen. I read everything I get my hands on. I have even visited the CDC website to learn more about the shots she will need. I will do what I am told to do to make Lexi a healthier, happy baby.

Maria + Cory = Alexis 17 kids; Middleport, Ohio 1075 posts
Dec 16th '12
Quoting Supafly★:" Not sure if you can love your child too much but okay. I personally think mothers have a much better ... [snip!] ... and such but if it is possible for you to hold and bond with her right after birth, it will be the best thing for you and her. "

My sisters first words after giving birth is can I have a cig now. They weren't interested in bonding with their babies. With my one sister I always stayed overnight with her. She had three babies and I was there for each of them. I have boned very much with all of my nieces and nephews.

Maria + Cory = Alexis 17 kids; Middleport, Ohio 1075 posts
Dec 16th '12
Quoting Supafly★:" Glad to see a mother doing her research. Try not to sweat the in-laws. Family sucks sometimes. "

My research started long before I got pregnant. And I believe every child deserves the best parents. She was is entrusted to me and I am going to do everything within my power to make her a wonderful, intelligence, honest person who will do good in this world. But even I need help with that. :)

veggiehugger 1 child; Michigan 243 posts
Dec 16th '12

I think you should give his father the opportunity to be involved, and if he denies her then that's his own problem. If she's just a baby when you try to introduce her she won't remember being denied, thus, no damage done psychologically. It sounds like he's trying to protect his son. You said Cory has two other children - did his ex-wife cheat on him? He might be questioning your daughter's paternity because of something from his previous relationship.
I really hope everything works out for you :) And if his family is that insecure over it you could always get a paternity test, just to prove it to them.

Maria + Cory = Alexis 17 kids; Middleport, Ohio 1075 posts
Dec 16th '12
Quoting veggiehugger:" I think you should give his father the opportunity to be involved, and if he denies her then that's his ... [snip!] ... out for you :) And if his family is that insecure over it you could always get a paternity test, just to prove it to them. "

There was a questions surrounding the paternity of is son. Cory at once believed something happened between her and his father. And the first time I met his son I noticed that he looked more like his grandfather than father. I am not sure if a DNA test was done. They were not married when the son was born. They married later and had their daughter. I am guessing a DNA test was order because of the child support.

HellsBell's Momma Due April 20 (girl); Spring Hill, Florida 47 posts
Dec 18th '12
Quoting Maria + Cory = Alexis:" I don't want them to deny her in front of her. I know it will effect her the rest of her life and I just want her to be happy and healthy."

You know it is amazing at how much anyone's heart melts with a new baby in their arms. :) If they deny your beautiful baby then that is their loss, trust me i have the same arrangement with some of my own family..If any one of them does anything or says anything hurtful towards my daughter then i will no longer be visiting them. You have to give them a chance because in all honesty this is your babies family as well, however in the long run the decision is completely your own. None of us can tell you what to do. Momma always knows best. Good luck hun ^^