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Feeling Sad Bel & KJ's Momma 2 kids; Kansas 316 posts
16th Dec '12

I'm just having one of those days. We were in the mall and saw Kinleigh's dad in the play place playing with his son. I don't understand why he can spend time with his son, take him to do things, pay his child support, etc. But he wants nothing to do with our daughter. Even when we were together if she even whimpered (she's 2 now and we havent been together since she was about 1 1/2) he would tell me to "send her to her room"...he never spoke to her in a loving or warm voice..it was always this mean growl... I just wish that she had a good father. One that would be there for her no matter what. -and selfishly, I wish I had someone to share half of the work with. She's into everything all the time, she has clingyness issues, she screams for 45 minutes every night before bed, wakes up 10+ times a night, I can't take her into a store because she refuses to sit in a cart and if I let her out she rips things off of the shelves. Its just not fair. Not fair that he can go wherever he wants to whenever he wants to without having to put a kid in a carseat or worry about naptimes/diapers, etc. Don't get me wrong, I love my girls, and it feels good to be able to handle things on my own...but sometimes, like today, I get down. How is it so easy to forget about your own child? End Vent.

ChubbyCheekers 2 kids; New York 3117 posts
16th Dec '12

:( Sorry mama...I know how that feels. When I got pregnant with my son, his dad told me he wanted nothing to do with him and left me...and he's remained true to his word. Then a couple years later he got another girl pregnant and married her, and they're expecting their second child now. It still makes me sad some days, wondering how he can be there and be a father to two other children but not mine...



It gets easier though, I promise.

Maria + Cory = Alexis 17 kids; Middleport, Ohio 1075 posts
16th Dec '12

That is a really bad situation. My fellow loves his two children that he has with his ex-wife but she hardly lets him visit them. She has full custody and promised to never keep the kids from him and now she won't even let them talk to him on the phone. He would do anything to see his children. We have offered to take them on vacation, even the ex-wife was invited. The kids have never been anywhere. We live in Ohio and they are in Ky and we have offered to come down for the day and take the kids shopping, to the park, out to eat, or just anywhere to give her a break. She won't let us. She won't let us have them over night. When he calls down there she wants to talk to him but won't let the kids talk to him. I have seen his children with him and they love him very much. I believe that one day those children are going to resent their mother for keeping their father away. I know that mine and Cory's daughter has more than his other two kids combined already, and she isn't even born. I have offered to set up saving accounts in the kid's name but can't without there ss number. So it all goes to my daughter. We are already planing to take her to the beach this summer and to take her to DisneyWorld when she is older. It is sad we can't do the same for his other children.

user banned Due November 7; 1 child; Dayton, Ohio 26853 posts
16th Dec '12

I am sorry. My son is 4 and his father has never been involved. He has only met him 2x and I offer all the time and he never accepts.



He just got married and has been raising his wifes son since he was 18 months old. Their "son" is now 4. He loves him and does fun stuff all the time. He is going through the process of adopting her son.



And he is also in the process of giving my son up for adoption to my husband and I.



I don't know what goes through these guys minds. You'll raise someone else's child but not your own.

Kimmy Gibbler 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8039 posts
16th Dec '12

I'm so sorry you ladies have to deal with those douche bags!! :(

Bel & KJ's Momma 2 kids; Kansas 316 posts
16th Dec '12

His whole family is this way though. His son is 4 now, and ever since he was born they wait on him hand and foot and spoil the crap out of him. His grandmother (bd's mom) went to court and fought for visitation of him (outside of bd's time) and won. So she seems him every weekend and on Thursdays. Yet they want nothing to do with our 2 year old daughter. No phone calls, no visiting. Sometimes BDs mom asks to see her, but once a year (for their huge Christmas party) and I usually say no. (hey...if you don't want to see her all year long I'm not sending her with someone she doesn't know just for you to flaunt her at a christmas party). BD is not together with his sons mom...so i don't understand why he is so eager to spend time with him but doesn't want our daughter. Ugh. Its so hard when she does something cute not to text him and tell him about it or to have someone there being all excited with me.

Emaleenasmommy 2 kids; Gulfport, Mississippi 137 posts
17th Dec '12

Im in a similiar situation, when i got pregnant with our 2nd daughter (due in a few days) BD decided he didnt want to be a family anymore, he got with a girl and is raising her 3 kids with her but doesnt even ask about his own kids, i really dont understand it either. I wish i had someone to share the joy with also ,so i def understand your pain :/

ChubbyCheekers 2 kids; New York 3117 posts
17th Dec '12

After replying to this topic, I went on Facebook...I'm friends with BD's mother and sister because they are involved in my son's life and I have a good relationship with them. I noticed she had put up a bunch of new pictures so I clicked and of course they're all of BD with his other son...my son is 4 and I'm pretty sure no pictures exist of the two of them together. He only sees my son at big family gatherings like at Christmastime...he's never gotten him a present or anything. His family brought DS to his wedding and he didn't get one single picture or anything with him...his sister told me he basically ignored DS the whole time, after he called and told me how much it would mean to him for DS to be there.

Emaleenasmommy 2 kids; Gulfport, Mississippi 137 posts
17th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lizplustwo:</b>" After replying to this topic, I went on Facebook...I'm friends with BD's mother and sister because they ... [snip!] ... told me he basically ignored DS the whole time, after he called and told me how much it would mean to him for DS to be there."</blockquote>



Thats horrible, you have to wonder what the kids feel ( emotionally) . I thibk about that all the time :(

ChubbyCheekers 2 kids; New York 3117 posts
17th Dec '12

I've been with DH since DS was about a year and a half and I have to say thank god for him...DS calls him Daddy (by his own choice) and BD has signed over his rights so DH can adopt. It breaks my heart that he has no love for our son but at least my son has a Daddy that loves him like his own. I just remind myself of that when I think about BD and how he and his new wife are living with his mom, sitting on their asses and sucking up welfare while they have another baby (planned, apparently).

Emaleenasmommy 2 kids; Gulfport, Mississippi 137 posts
17th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lizplustwo:</b>" I've been with DH since DS was about a year and a half and I have to say thank god for him...DS calls ... [snip!] ... are living with his mom, sitting on their asses and sucking up welfare while they have another baby (planned, apparently). "</blockquote>




Well thats awesome that he has a father figure in his life..I hope to be able to say the same one day for my girls