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Help please, 2 year old giving me hell Mommy to Bella & Mia 2 kids; New York, New York 184 posts
16th Dec '12

So Im 18 weeks pregnant and very cranky and tired all the time, I try not to take it out on my 2 year old but its getting harder because she is giving me hell to go to sleep on her own at night and for a nap. She naps perfectly well at daycare but when she's home she cries for about 2 hours. We now have her on a routine for nighttime which is helping but it consists of me having to stay in the room with her, and I don't want her getting use to having to sleep like this but if I leave the crying begins. Helpp any advice??



And no I cant just let her cry to sleep

Socialist 1 child; Washington 17393 posts
16th Dec '12

She knows she'll get what she wants if she cries. Either take the time and sit with her, or start teaching her crying doesn't mean she'll get what she wants. Follow that rule, in every aspect, and it should start to get less and less.



She may be outgrowing nap time, though. That may be something to think about.

Sofie+#2 Due March 18; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7402 posts
16th Dec '12

She needs her mama. Stay with her, it'll take less time.
As soon as you start putting her to bed she's anticipating you leaving, and waking up without you there. What you could try (though she might be a bit young for this) is to tell her you're just going to get a drink of water/change into your PJs, and you'll be back in 5 minutes and if she's still awake you'll stay with her. So she knows you're coming back - and do come back - and is less tense from the moment you start the bedtime routine.

Fides*Spes*Amor 35 kids; San Diego, California 26321 posts
16th Dec '12
Quoting Mommy to Bella Ruby:" So Im 18 weeks pregnant and very cranky and tired all the time, I try not to take it out on my 2 year ... [snip!] ... use to having to sleep like this but if I leave the crying begins. Helpp any advice?? And no I cant just let her cry to sleep"


Why can't you let her cry to sleep?
She's 2.. she's playing your emotions & she knows it.

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
16th Dec '12
Quoting Socialist:" She knows she'll get what she wants if she cries. Either take the time and sit with her, or start teaching ... [snip!] ... and it should start to get less and less. She may be outgrowing nap time, though. That may be something to think about. "

Pretty much this. Find a routine and stick to it. When my daughter was two we did CIO it was the only thing that worked. I could sit in her room until she was dead asleep but as soon as i stepped both feet out of the door she would wake up screaming and crying and this could go on for hours. If you are against CIO then just sit with her until she is asleep and slowly try to get out of the room sooner and sooner until eventually you can just put her down and walk out.

Sofie+#2 Due March 18; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7402 posts
16th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Fides*Spes*Amor {MBRD}:</b>" Why can't you let her cry to sleep? She's 2.. she's playing your emotions & she knows it."</blockquote>




Or she just wants to be with her mother? God, I hate this attitude.

Fides*Spes*Amor 35 kids; San Diego, California 26321 posts
16th Dec '12
Quoting Sofia's Mummy♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Fides*Spes*Amor {MBRD}:</b>" Why can't you let her cry to ... [snip!] ... your emotions & she knows it."</blockquote> Or she just wants to be with her mother? God, I hate this attitude."


Or she's not wanting to go to bed & is trying to establish independence???
That's what 2yr olds do... so sorry you "hate this attitude"- but it's the damn truth lmao.. She's not 6mo and crying for a reason in a crib :roll:

Fides*Spes*Amor 35 kids; San Diego, California 26321 posts
16th Dec '12
Quoting Jennybananna:" Pretty much this. Find a routine and stick to it. When my daughter was two we did CIO it was the only ... [snip!] ... she is asleep and slowly try to get out of the room sooner and sooner until eventually you can just put her down and walk out."


:!:
Ta-da...

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
16th Dec '12
Quoting Fides*Spes*Amor {MBRD}:" :!: Ta-da..."

6 month old baby needs mommy
2 year old is fighting sleep and 9 times out of 10 manipulating the situation to get what they want. Especially if they used to go down without a problem and now there is one.
Huge difference.

Sofie+#2 Due March 18; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7402 posts
16th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Fides*Spes*Amor {MBRD}:</b>" Or she's not wanting to go to bed & is trying to establish independence??? That's what 2yr olds ... [snip!] ... do... so sorry you "hate this attitude"- but it's the damn truth lmao.. She's not 6mo and crying for a reason in a crib :roll:"</blockquote>




I have a 2 year old, there is still a reason for her crying. It may seem silly or manipulative to you, but the need for attention and closeness is a VALID need.

Fides*Spes*Amor 35 kids; San Diego, California 26321 posts
16th Dec '12
Quoting Jennybananna:" 6 month old baby needs mommy 2 year old is fighting sleep and 9 times out of 10 manipulating the situation ... [snip!] ... situation to get what they want. Especially if they used to go down without a problem and now there is one. Huge difference. "


HUGE! Totally agree! :D

Fides*Spes*Amor 35 kids; San Diego, California 26321 posts
16th Dec '12
Quoting Sofia's Mummy♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Fides*Spes*Amor {MBRD}:</b>" Or she's not wanting to go to ... [snip!] ... a reason for her crying. It may seem silly or manipulative to you, but the need for attention and closeness is a VALID need."


And you let me know how she's sleeping at 4 :wink:



Trust me, I don't need to be schooled on manipulative behavior by toddlers.. *snicker* Apparently you do though lol

Sofie+#2 Due March 18; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7402 posts
16th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jennybananna:</b>" 6 month old baby needs mommy 2 year old is fighting sleep and 9 times out of 10 manipulating the situation ... [snip!] ... situation to get what they want. Especially if they used to go down without a problem and now there is one. Huge difference. "</blockquote>




Have you never heard of emotional regression?
Of course they want stuff, they have NO control over their own lives and need to feel in control sometimes. That's not manipulation, that's human need.
There are some things my daughter wants that she can't have and will cry for, like watering the plants over and over until they're drowning, but my love and attention is not something I will ever withhold from her.

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
16th Dec '12
Quoting Sofia's Mummy♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jennybananna:</b>" 6 month old baby needs mommy 2 year old ... [snip!] ... the plants over and over until they're drowning, but my love and attention is not something I will ever withhold from her."

I know the difference in my daughters cries the I need my mommy and/or daddy cry vs the I dont want to go to bed because I want to play or watch tv. I never ever ignore her I need mommy daddy cry but yes when she is being a manipulative little shit she gets to cry. She is 3 and 95% of the time goes to bed with no problems the other 5% she either didn't want to turn her show off or she is just overly tired.

Sofie+#2 Due March 18; TTC since Jun 2014; 1 child; Sheffield, So, United Kingdom 7402 posts
16th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Fides*Spes*Amor {MBRD}:</b>" And you let me know how she's sleeping at 4 :wink: Trust me, I don't need to be schooled on manipulative behavior by toddlers.. *snicker* Apparently you do though lol"</blockquote>




Well I'll cross that bridge when I come to it but she sleeps like a dream now!
You need to be schooled on the why behind children's behaviour rather than focussing on the what.