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His family is trying to mess things up. ☆ Erica 1 child; Flat Rock, Michigan 1439 posts
16th Dec '12

My family in law does not like that my boyfriend lives his life for himself. His father and him do not get along and I guess it's causing a lot of drama between his father and mother to the point where they might get a divorce. The thing is, Adam never talks to his father. Ever. He only talks to his mother and his sister to avoid all his fathers drama. So how he is causing their divorce is not really on HIM necessarily. But his sister and his mother keep telling him that he's causing the divorce and that he needs to change before it happens because it's unacceptable. HOW?! My boyfriend works his ass off at his job, is being very supportive of me and this pregnancy and is just an overall good guy. Granted he is not perfect, but they just started this about a month ago and the family drama didn't escalate until they found out we were having a baby. If you haven't read my posts about my psycho MIL, the last time we saw her she even tried convincing Adam that this kid might not be his!
His sister texted him at 9 pm last night saying he needs to change and be better for the family. He needs to try to be more involved in their family before their parents get a divorce bc if they do then she'll hate Adam. I'm like wtf? He talks to you and his mother pretty often, hell....you were just over our apartment the other week hanging out with us! Just because he doesn't feel the need to have a good relationship with his father doesn't mean he doesn't want a good relationship with you or his mother. I don't understand the drama, it's been this way for years...



It pisses me off because I see how they're hurting him and making him feel like he is not good enough when they say he needs to change and then throw every mistake he's made in his face. He's such a good guy. He's so hard working and supportive and I don't think I could love him anymore than I do right now. I hate seeing him hurting because they don't think he's good enough. He's gonna become a father in a month, he doesn't need this stress! But he wants to make everyone happy and he takes everything so personally and keeps it in. Idk how to be supportive. I would love to just go off on his family but that would only make it worse for him. I've been trying to tell him how much he means to me and how happy he makes me but I don't feel like it's good enough. He hides it well, and acts like it's no big deal but I know him, he can't hide it that well from me.



:( Just ranting..

Devil Duckie 3 kids; New York 48700 posts
16th Dec '12

family is always going to want you do things their way. However, these people are not your in-laws, they are your boyfriends family. Unless you are legally married, they are not in-laws and should not be addressed as such.

~The Lunar Flower~ 2 kids; Alabama 6748 posts
16th Dec '12

I don't see why your bf wouldn't want to try to be the better person or be civil about his father. Its his choice but there's not much you can do. Your not related so you getting involved would only offend them most likely. All you can really do is support your man.

ThatsAlotaNuts Australia 2357 posts
16th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Devil Duckie:</b>" family is always going to want you do things their way. However, these people are not your in-laws, they ... [snip!] ... they are your boyfriends family. Unless you are legally married, they are not in-laws and should not be addressed as such. "</blockquote>




I said 'in laws' before i was married,alot of people do it.

Caitlin Pollock Due January 24 (boy); Tennessee 37 posts
16th Dec '12

I keep telling my friend that she has not found "The One" yet because she has yet to hate her in laws. I am positive that in-laws are just horrible people. Haha. My MIL HATES my baby's name. She cried when we told her & she begged my husband to change it. She refers to him as "That Baby" "The Baby" and "Nana's Little Man" but never his freakin name! To top that off she asks about my weight every time she sees me and she keeps poking & rubbing my belly even though I cross my arms over my belly & give her evil looks when she gets near.



My point. In-laws (especially MIL) are the devil.

☮Sugar Magnolia 1 child; Indiana 18298 posts
16th Dec '12
Quoting Caitlin Pollock:" I keep telling my friend that she has not found "The One" yet because she has yet to hate her in laws. ... [snip!] ... I cross my arms over my belly & give her evil looks when she gets near. My point. In-laws (especially MIL) are the devil."


The name thing is ridiculous.




But uh, she's the devil because she asks how much weight you've gained and rubs your belly? Have you asked her not to?
A lot of people did both of those things to me, never thought anything of it....

Caitlin Pollock Due January 24 (boy); Tennessee 37 posts
16th Dec '12
Quoting ☮Sugar Magnolia:" The name thing is ridiculous. But uh, she's the devil because she asks how much weight you've gained ... [snip!] ... rubs your belly? Have you asked her not to? A lot of people did both of those things to me, never thought anything of it...."


Yeah, I've told her my skin is really tight & sore so I don't really like to be rubbed but she just keeps on & laughs about it. As far as the weight thing, it's not that she does it its how she does it. For example I was eating a handful of M&Ms that she bought me & she asked how much weight I gained & if I thought I could manage to stretch my clothes any farther. It's just rude considering we aren't nor ever have been close.
There are a lot of things that my MIL does that I consider rude or irritating, that even my husband gets annoyed about but everyone has their own tolerance limits. :)

Layla's Momma ♥ 17 kids; California 4457 posts
16th Dec '12

Why doesn't he talk to his dad?

☆ Erica 1 child; Flat Rock, Michigan 1439 posts
16th Dec '12

His father and him haven't ever really had a good solid relationship. There's a lot to their past that I rather not put on blast for everyone, but to sum it up him and his father have a lot of problems. Adam has tried to speak with him. The last time he spoke to him he called him to tell him our little one was a girl and his father was reallly friggan rude. They haven't spoken at all since.

☆ Erica 1 child; Flat Rock, Michigan 1439 posts
16th Dec '12
Quoting Devil Duckie:" family is always going to want you do things their way. However, these people are not your in-laws, they ... [snip!] ... they are your boyfriends family. Unless you are legally married, they are not in-laws and should not be addressed as such. "


They are my in-laws. I don't need a paper to define how committed me and my boyfriend are, and to have the right to refer to them the way I want to.

☆ Erica 1 child; Flat Rock, Michigan 1439 posts
16th Dec '12
Quoting Devil Duckie:" family is always going to want you do things their way. However, these people are not your in-laws, they ... [snip!] ... they are your boyfriends family. Unless you are legally married, they are not in-laws and should not be addressed as such. "


Double post.

Caitlin Pollock Due January 24 (boy); Tennessee 37 posts
16th Dec '12
Quoting Erica ☆★:" They are my in-laws. I don't need a paper to define how committed me and my boyfriend are, and to have the right to refer to them the way I want to. "


I wish there was a like button for comments. lol

The Master 2 kids; Perth, Australia 19989 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting Devil Duckie:" family is always going to want you do things their way. However, these people are not your in-laws, they ... [snip!] ... they are your boyfriends family. Unless you are legally married, they are not in-laws and should not be addressed as such. "


:roll:



I'm not legally married either, only legal defacto, and I call SO's family my in-laws. OP is completely within her rights to call them whatever she wants.