Reply
Out of control four year old... *~AngelEyes~* 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 11214 posts
Dec 17th '12

ok, i'm re-iterating how I phrased this earlier... no hate, plz. I am NOT abusive, but I do spank my son if he needs it. I'm 11 weeks pregnant, and for the last couple of days (especially today...) he's been absolutely horrible. I've gotten so stressed about it, I've about crossed the line a couple of times. I didn't but almost have. Again, I STRESS to you, I am NOT abusive. Never once have I ever left a mark on my son, and never will I either. I've tried time out, taking toys away, taking TV away... I try to do little arts and crafts, even with him. But some days, I just don't have the energy for it. I do lose my patience, but I walk away when I feel like I'm crossing a line. It's even gotten to where he even asks to go to bed when I tell him he's going to bed as punishment and I change my mind on it. (which, I just make him go to his room and sit on his bed for about 5 minutes maybe and let him think about it...) Any suggestions (along with the ones I've received so far...)

*J* 50 kids; 14412 posts
Dec 17th '12

You are a crazy abuser! Spanked him till you cant anymore? Time out till hes on his knees? Are you f**king kidding me?!



You need to quit having temper tantrums and read "1-2-3 magic".

♥TwinsRock♥ 2 kids; Buffalo, New York 4471 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting *J*:" You are a crazy abuser! Spanked him till you cant anymore? Time out till hes on his knees? Are you f**king kidding me?! You need to quit having temper tantrums and read "1-2-3 magic"."


:!:

Baby B<3 1 angel baby; 16168 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting *J*:" You are a crazy abuser! Spanked him till you cant anymore? Time out till hes on his knees? Are you f**king kidding me?! You need to quit having temper tantrums and read "1-2-3 magic"."



:!:

vagina. 3 kids; Titz, No, Germany 30934 posts
Dec 17th '12

Find out WHY he's acting out. WHY he isn't behaving.



at 4...he can communicate his wants and needs.



Has he been getting adequate outside play lately? my kids act up when they're bored & have built up energy.

vagina. 3 kids; Titz, No, Germany 30934 posts
Dec 17th '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting *J*:</b>" You are a crazy abuser! Spanked him till you cant anymore? Time out till hes on his knees? Are you f**king kidding me?! You need to quit having temper tantrums and read "1-2-3 magic"."</blockquote>



i was thinking she's tired of spanking him & timeouts bc they're OBVIOUSLY not working.

*~AngelEyes~* 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 11214 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting *J*:" You are a crazy abuser! Spanked him till you cant anymore? Time out till hes on his knees? Are you f**king kidding me?! You need to quit having temper tantrums and read "1-2-3 magic"."


I don't mean it the way it sounds. I am NOT abusive, do not EVER accuse me of abuse!!! I'm not having a temper tantrum, just wanting him to mind. I know when to stop. I spank him until I know I have to stop, which is before I do any harm.

Chellie 3 kids; Vegas, Nv, United States 4824 posts
Dec 17th '12

Is there any reason why he acts the way he does? Why don't you talk to him and see what he has to say about his behavior before you take away toys and spanking. I am all for spanking as discipline but it needs to be in the proper context like in putting a screwdriver in an electrical socket. A dangerous situation.



Try a different approach. Positive reinforcement. Ignore the bad behavior completely as hard as it may be. When he behaves then comment on it and give praise for making the right choice. Another way is get two jars. Fill one with marbles and label the other one with tape and what he gets at each level of marbles. When he behaves well he gets a marble and when he misbehaves he gets one taken away. At the first line on the jar he gets a treat like icecream or something small. The second one he gets a bigger treat like a $10 toy. When he fills up the jar he gets a big treat like a special trip or a bigger toy.



There are many different ways to reinforce the positive to over rule the negative without timeout or spanking.

*~AngelEyes~* 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 11214 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting i made a vagina.:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *J*:</b>" You are a crazy abuser! Spanked him till you cant ... [snip!] ... "1-2-3 magic"."</blockquote> i was thinking she's tired of spanking him & timeouts bc they're OBVIOUSLY not working."


exactly what I'm saying. So not abusive.... smh...

vagina. 3 kids; Titz, No, Germany 30934 posts
Dec 17th '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Angeleyes1372:</b>" I don't mean it the way it sounds. I am NOT abusive, do not EVER accuse me of abuse!!! I'm not having ... [snip!] ... just wanting him to mind. I know when to stop. I spank him until I know I have to stop, which is before I do any harm. "</blockquote>



..so you spank repeatedly for the same punishment?! :(

♥TwinsRock♥ 2 kids; Buffalo, New York 4471 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting Supafly★:" Why would you spank him more than once at a time? :?"

This is what I'm wondering... You're making it sound like your laying into him over and over...

vagina. 3 kids; Titz, No, Germany 30934 posts
Dec 17th '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" Why would you spank him more than once at a time? :?"</blockquote>



:!: :?: :?

B( o )( o )BS! 3 kids; Oregon 25900 posts
Dec 17th '12

First of all, ease up on the "punishment" You're going to make him angry and resentful. No wonder he can't calm down if the adults in his life can't even do it.



It's the age. I swear that three and four are just terrible. Especially when mom's pregnant. By five it's better, but only if you're consistent and reasonable with your expectations, and for the love of god, be patient! He's four.

FeliciaAnn Due June 1; 3 kids; Washington 1333 posts
Dec 17th '12

wtf does putting him in time out until he's on his knees even mean!? Like you make him stand until he can't anymore? For God sakes take him for a walk or on a play date or play with him and wear him out.

*~AngelEyes~* 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 11214 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting i made a vagina.:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Angeleyes1372:</b>" I don't mean it the way it sounds. I am ... [snip!] ... I have to stop, which is before I do any harm. "</blockquote> ..so you spank repeatedly for the same punishment?! :("


It's hard to explain. I spank him once, and if he keeps acting up, spank him again. That's how I was brought up. If you need it, you get your butt whipped. My father was abusive, I am not. I have never ONCE left a bruise on my child, and I don't like spanking him. I'm just asking for advice, not ridicule for disciplining my child in the way I was raised up and not to be called abusive because trust me I am not.