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B( o )( o )BS! 3 kids; Oregon 25900 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting Angeleyes1372:" I don't mean it the way it sounds. I am NOT abusive, do not EVER accuse me of abuse!!! I'm not having ... [snip!] ... just wanting him to mind. I know when to stop. I spank him until I know I have to stop, which is before I do any harm. "


This is not reassuring.

♥TwinsRock♥ 2 kids; Buffalo, New York 4471 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting Angeleyes1372:" It's hard to explain. I spank him once, and if he keeps acting up, spank him again. That's how I was ... [snip!] ... not ridicule for disciplining my child in the way I was raised up and not to be called abusive because trust me I am not."

But don't you realize that spanking him over and over for the same thing isn't working?! Try some redirection!

Baby B<3 1 angel baby; 16168 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting Angeleyes1372:" It's hard to explain. I spank him once, and if he keeps acting up, spank him again. That's how I was ... [snip!] ... not ridicule for disciplining my child in the way I was raised up and not to be called abusive because trust me I am not."


so you are disciplining the way you were raised and your dad was abusive, yet even though you are disciplining the same way your not?

*~AngelEyes~* 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 11214 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting FeliciaAnn:" wtf does putting him in time out until he's on his knees even mean!? Like you make him stand until he ... [snip!] ... make him stand until he can't anymore? For God sakes take him for a walk or on a play date or play with him and wear him out."


where I'm living, I don't trust people enough to go walking. and I let him play and wear himself out anytime he wants to. and by time ou til he's on his knees, til he can't stand. (that's really my husband doing that, I spank and put in time out for a while then let him out) gah everything just came out wrong...

*~AngelEyes~* 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 11214 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting |♥| Jayme |♥|:" so you are disciplining the way you were raised and your dad was abusive, yet even though you are disciplining the same way your not? "


the way my mom did, not my dad. I'm sorry, everything just came out all wrong. I know I sound like a crazed maniac saying all this, I assure you I'm not... I'm just at my wits end with the attitude. Part of it is because he's back and forth between me and grandparents... and my father has been in the hospital the last few weeks and finally came home, so he's missing him.

FeliciaAnn Due June 1; 3 kids; Washington 1333 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting Angeleyes1372:" where I'm living, I don't trust people enough to go walking. and I let him play and wear himself out ... [snip!] ... really my husband doing that, I spank and put in time out for a while then let him out) gah everything just came out wrong..."


Listen at his age he should only be in time for 4 minutes. He's 4 he gets a 4 minute time out. The rest of the time is useless and he's going to forget why he's there. Have you tried reasonable communication? If you don't like your neighborhood MOVE. Or get in the car and go to a park you enjoy. He needs to get out and get some fresh air. Kids are crazy, 4 year olds need a ton of mental and physical stimulation. You should really do some peaceful parenting research.

Baby B<3 1 angel baby; 16168 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting Angeleyes1372:" the way my mom did, not my dad. I'm sorry, everything just came out all wrong. I know I sound like a ... [snip!] ... me and grandparents... and my father has been in the hospital the last few weeks and finally came home, so he's missing him. "


You need help thats what you need because there is a fine line between discipline and abuse and i think you have passed it along time ago

*~AngelEyes~* 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 11214 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting FeliciaAnn:" Listen at his age he should only be in time for 4 minutes. He's 4 he gets a 4 minute time out. The ... [snip!] ... are crazy, 4 year olds need a ton of mental and physical stimulation. You should really do some peaceful parenting research. "


four minute time out is what i do, if he tries to come out before his four minutes is up, a minute is added on. Everyone, I'm sorry if I sounded like a total asshat earlier. -_- I was so not trying to. I'm just wanting to know what some of you do to get your kids to behave?

*~AngelEyes~* 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 11214 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" OP, you keep responding to the negative comments instead of my questions......"

I didn't see your questions??

FeliciaAnn Due June 1; 3 kids; Washington 1333 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting Angeleyes1372:" four minute time out is what i do, if he tries to come out before his four minutes is up, a minute is ... [snip!] ... a total asshat earlier. -_- I was so not trying to. I'm just wanting to know what some of you do to get your kids to behave?"


I redirect, and I take away privileges. When my girls are hurting each other they both go to time out. When I let them out they have to sit and talk to me about WHY they are in time out, why mommy was upset, and why THEY were upset. My oldest is 5 and autistic, and her sister is 3. This works very well for them both. If they have a lot of excess steam we go for a walk or play in our yard. For my 5yo I give her a piece of paper and ask me to draw a picture of her feelings. This works really well. Consistency is absolutely key. You have to continue to parent this way even when it's so annoying you feel as if you can't go on. Then one day it all just seems so simple, and behaviors are changing. I don't spank. I used to, and then I realized my child is acting out for a REASON and it was my responsibility to discover what that reason was.

*J* 50 kids; 14412 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting Angeleyes1372:" It's hard to explain. I spank him once, and if he keeps acting up, spank him again. That's how I was ... [snip!] ... not ridicule for disciplining my child in the way I was raised up and not to be called abusive because trust me I am not."



Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit syndrome



What is that? Imagine your child is doing something your don't like. You read in a parenting book that you should talk the problem out no matter how long it takes. So you try telling your daughter why she shouldn't be doing what she's doing. She doesn't respond, so next you try to persuade her to see things your way. When persuasion fails, you start arguing with the little girl. Arguing leads to a yelling match, and when that fails, you may feel there is nothing left to do but hit. Actually, ninety-nine percent of the time that parents scream, hit and spank their children, the parent is simply having a temper tantrum. The tantrum is a sign that (1) the parent doesn't know what to do, (2) the parent is so frustrated that he or she can't see straight, and (3) this adult has an anger management problem.



When talking and reasoning fails, the parent goes crazy and starts hitting, because his favorite strategy isn't working and desperation has set in.



This isn't saying that you just sit around and beat your child but sounds like you need to alter the way in which you deal with your child. Your child is NOT a little adult. Your child is a child. Learn to discipline a child. Your child wants your attention and will take any of the crap you send his way, even if its while your spanking his ass.

*~AngelEyes~* 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 11214 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Angeleyes1372:</b>" I didn't see your questions??"</blockquote> I asked you if he was bored, in school or had any friends?"


I'm sorry, I didn't see the question... but yes, he does go to school... but he's out of school right now. I try to reason with him and he won't tell me what's wrong with him. Every now and then, I take him out to play, but usually he throws a fit before I actually let him go play because I want him to eat or something before hand. I've tried just about everything and just need some tips. I know I need to chill, I admit I'm not the most mellow headed mother, w=especially with me being pregnant.

Jays*Mama 2 kids; Michigan 5689 posts
Dec 17th '12

My son is 4 and doesn't listen either. I don't know what to do half the time. I try avoiding spanking but have been having to do it lately he is just so out of control. I try timeouts and he usually ends up playing on the step.

*~AngelEyes~* 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 11214 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting *J*:" Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit syndrome What is that? Imagine your child is doing something your don't ... [snip!] ... child. Your child wants your attention and will take any of the crap you send his way, even if its while your spanking his ass."


I don't "hit" him, I pop his butt a few times and send him to time out. Don't let him watch TV or play for a little while. Usually works, but today seems to be the opposite. I understand some of you are against spanking, but just because you pop a child on the butt or hand doesn't mean abuse. Now, if I was hauling off and slapping him cross the face, I'd even say I am abusive then. but me popping his butt a few times when he needs it.

*~AngelEyes~* 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 11214 posts
Dec 17th '12
Quoting Jays*Mama:" My son is 4 and doesn't listen either. I don't know what to do half the time. I try avoiding spanking ... [snip!] ... but have been having to do it lately he is just so out of control. I try timeouts and he usually ends up playing on the step."


so I'm not the only momma having that problem. I don't like spanking, but if it needs to be done...