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JΔ$ Georgia 76351 posts
17th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Angeleyes1372:</b>" I didn't see your questions??"</blockquote>



I asked you if he was bored, in school or had any friends?

*J* 50 kids; 14412 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting Angeleyes1372:" It's hard to explain. I spank him once, and if he keeps acting up, spank him again. That's how I was ... [snip!] ... not ridicule for disciplining my child in the way I was raised up and not to be called abusive because trust me I am not."



Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit syndrome



What is that? Imagine your child is doing something your don't like. You read in a parenting book that you should talk the problem out no matter how long it takes. So you try telling your daughter why she shouldn't be doing what she's doing. She doesn't respond, so next you try to persuade her to see things your way. When persuasion fails, you start arguing with the little girl. Arguing leads to a yelling match, and when that fails, you may feel there is nothing left to do but hit. Actually, ninety-nine percent of the time that parents scream, hit and spank their children, the parent is simply having a temper tantrum. The tantrum is a sign that (1) the parent doesn't know what to do, (2) the parent is so frustrated that he or she can't see straight, and (3) this adult has an anger management problem.



When talking and reasoning fails, the parent goes crazy and starts hitting, because his favorite strategy isn't working and desperation has set in.



This isn't saying that you just sit around and beat your child but sounds like you need to alter the way in which you deal with your child. Your child is NOT a little adult. Your child is a child. Learn to discipline a child. Your child wants your attention and will take any of the crap you send his way, even if its while your spanking his ass.

*~AngelEyes~* 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 10582 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Angeleyes1372:</b>" I didn't see your questions??"</blockquote> I asked you if he was bored, in school or had any friends?"


I'm sorry, I didn't see the question... but yes, he does go to school... but he's out of school right now. I try to reason with him and he won't tell me what's wrong with him. Every now and then, I take him out to play, but usually he throws a fit before I actually let him go play because I want him to eat or something before hand. I've tried just about everything and just need some tips. I know I need to chill, I admit I'm not the most mellow headed mother, w=especially with me being pregnant.

Jays*Mama 2 kids; Michigan 5680 posts
17th Dec '12

My son is 4 and doesn't listen either. I don't know what to do half the time. I try avoiding spanking but have been having to do it lately he is just so out of control. I try timeouts and he usually ends up playing on the step.

*~AngelEyes~* 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 10582 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting *J*:" Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit syndrome What is that? Imagine your child is doing something your don't ... [snip!] ... child. Your child wants your attention and will take any of the crap you send his way, even if its while your spanking his ass."


I don't "hit" him, I pop his butt a few times and send him to time out. Don't let him watch TV or play for a little while. Usually works, but today seems to be the opposite. I understand some of you are against spanking, but just because you pop a child on the butt or hand doesn't mean abuse. Now, if I was hauling off and slapping him cross the face, I'd even say I am abusive then. but me popping his butt a few times when he needs it.

*~AngelEyes~* 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 10582 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting Jays*Mama:" My son is 4 and doesn't listen either. I don't know what to do half the time. I try avoiding spanking ... [snip!] ... but have been having to do it lately he is just so out of control. I try timeouts and he usually ends up playing on the step."


so I'm not the only momma having that problem. I don't like spanking, but if it needs to be done...

*J* 50 kids; 14412 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting Angeleyes1372:" I don't "hit" him, I pop his butt a few times and send him to time out. Don't let him watch TV or play ... [snip!] ... off and slapping him cross the face, I'd even say I am abusive then. but me popping his butt a few times when he needs it. "


Don't get me wrong. I have spanked both of my children. Less than a handful of times and only for things that are EXTREMELY serious. Like running into the parking lot or something equally dangerous. Even then im not proud of it. Spanking is hitting. You'd be delusional to think otherwise.

JΔ$ Georgia 76351 posts
17th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Angeleyes1372:</b>" I'm sorry, I didn't see the question... but yes, he does go to school... but he's out of school right ... [snip!] ... need some tips. I know I need to chill, I admit I'm not the most mellow headed mother, w=especially with me being pregnant."</blockquote>




My daughter goes bat shit nuts sometimes and it's usually because she's longing for her friends. She loves being at school, around the other kids.



Just try to be more patient. When you get frustrated, he feeds off that. We use a calm down jar and it works pretty well. I've also learned to pick my battles. I'm not going to sit here and fight with my 4 year old over something stupid.

Baby B<3 1 angel baby; 16167 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting Angeleyes1372:" I don't "hit" him, I pop his butt a few times and send him to time out. Don't let him watch TV or play ... [snip!] ... off and slapping him cross the face, I'd even say I am abusive then. but me popping his butt a few times when he needs it. "


i think you need to read what you have said repeatedly and why people are saying you are abusive. I am against spanking, but i smack on the hand and a smack on the butt is one thing, but what you are saying is you do it over and over and you even said that you do it until you can't anymore and thats why a lot feel what you are doing is abuse. I think you need to find other ways to discipline when he isn't listening to spankings. Have you tried have like a arts and craft time to keep him busy?

*~AngelEyes~* 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 10582 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting Jas ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Angeleyes1372:</b>" I'm sorry, I didn't see the question... ... [snip!] ... well. I've also learned to pick my battles. I'm not going to sit here and fight with my 4 year old over something stupid."


How does a Calm Down jar work. if I might ask? I'll have to try that.

*~AngelEyes~* 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 10582 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting |♥| Jayme |♥|:" i think you need to read what you have said repeatedly and why people are saying you are abusive. I ... [snip!] ... other ways to discipline when he isn't listening to spankings. Have you tried have like a arts and craft time to keep him busy?"


Yes, I know, and I didn't mean for it to come out that way, either... and I've tried just about everything I can think of. He has such a short attention span, one little thing outside of the activity I'm wanting to do with him and he's gone. (most four year olds, right?)

Baby B<3 1 angel baby; 16167 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting Angeleyes1372:" Yes, I know, and I didn't mean for it to come out that way, either... and I've tried just about everything ... [snip!] ... span, one little thing outside of the activity I'm wanting to do with him and he's gone. (most four year olds, right?) "


that's normal he is a little kid. Shot i have a short attention span too lol. Try to work with him like tell him if you want to do that, then can you help me clean this? or something like that. It just sounds like you and him are just getting frustrated at each other.

*~AngelEyes~* 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 10582 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting |♥| Jayme |♥|:" that's normal he is a little kid. Shot i have a short attention span too lol. Try to work with him like ... [snip!] ... can you help me clean this? or something like that. It just sounds like you and him are just getting frustrated at each other."


I will definitely have to start trying that. and yes, I have a super short attention span... I'm severely ADD.

JΔ$ Georgia 76351 posts
17th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Angeleyes1372:</b>" How does a Calm Down jar work. if I might ask? I'll have to try that."</blockquote>




http://familysponge.com/parenting/artkids-calm-down-jar/

Baby B<3 1 angel baby; 16167 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting Angeleyes1372:" I will definitely have to start trying that. and yes, I have a super short attention span... I'm severely ADD. "


ya i have ADHD so i know how that is. Ya you should definitely try it, we use it in the child care i volunteer at and it works for the most part and at first when you start and he tries to start acting out because he wants to do the other things at that moment, get to his eye level and grab his hand while looking at him and tell him i know you want to play with that and you can play with that, but we have to clean this up first.