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TRISHA =] 2 kids; California 3368 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting Platypus:" This is just out of pure curiosity. I want to know what you all think about this. Do you think it's fair ... [snip!] ... without the other agreeing, but at the same time, it's kind of the woman's choice.. I'm somewhat in between opinions on that. "


Went through this with my first. I am against getting an abortion MYSELF. anybody else can do whatever you please with your body. but I MYSELF will never get one. not even by force. Its my body growing a child for 9 months not his so if he wants to be a father than great, if he wants to not be involved, theres the door.



My daughters dad eventually came around a week or two before she was born... but im glad he did. and im sure hes sure to hell glad i didnt get that abortion.

Alicia753 Due August 8; 3 kids; Wisconsin 28 posts
17th Dec '12

I think everything was pretty much covered already. It is a woman's right to keep the baby if she wants too. I do agree that a man should be able to give up all rights to the baby if he wants too.

ρiηkie ρie 3 kids; 3 angel babies; Kentucky 21902 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" :!: I feel the same way, she gets the ultimate choice, but.... it's heartbreaking when a Father really wants their baby and can't have it."

Yeah. :( It's too bad we don't have like pseudo-wombs or something for cases like that. Such is life I guess.

Noah and Baby J's mommy 50 kids; Oregon 3446 posts
17th Dec '12

I have a close guy friend that is in this situation, he is in college and doesn't want kids, at least not now. He was taking all precautions on his end to make sure she didn't get pregnant. Something went wrong and she did. Now she is trying to trap him. This same female has two other kids with different dudes under the same circumstances. He doesnt really have a say regardless in what she does, and the last thing he wants is to be a dead beat dad.

Loretta West TTC#2 TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 4606 posts
17th Dec '12

I always said that if I got pregnant and SO didn't want the baby then he could walk away and I'd raise baby on my own without his help, financial or otherwise. I'd rather that than have a guy resent me for the rest of our lives, and the kid would deserve better than a father that didn't want him in the first place. Luckily, SO was really excited when I got pregnant :D

user banned 1 child; Portland, Maine 20613 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting ℐ+ℳ=
Loretta West TTC#2 TTC since May 2013; 1 child; Auckland, New Zealand 4606 posts
17th Dec '12
Quoting Thisperyears:" When I first got pregnant I told SO that he had the choice to walk away and not have to be a father ... [snip!] ... on aborting and I didn't think it would be fair to make him stick around to raise a child neither of us were ready for."


That's exactly how I saw it. I wasn't about to punish my baby because we were dumb enough to get pregnant before we were ready.. I've always felt that way, I've always said I'd keep any baby I got pregnant with. So I was always really careful with b/c and stuff. We still got a bit of a shock when the test came back positive, and after SO's mother said he was ruining his life (maybe in not so many words, but that's what she meant) I told him that he could leave and I wouldn't go after him for child support or anything, but I wasn't going to abort. He looked at me like I was a psycho and said "are you f**king kidding me? I'm not going anywhere".

Tarynosaurus Rex San Antonio, Texas 1271 posts
18th Dec '12
Quoting Platypus:" This is just out of pure curiosity. I want to know what you all think about this. Do you think it's fair ... [snip!] ... without the other agreeing, but at the same time, it's kind of the woman's choice.. I'm somewhat in between opinions on that. "


A man should never be allowed to tell a woman she has to get an abortion.
I think he should be able to give up his rights (in the same fashion as women who give their babies up for adoption, they have a certain amount of time to do it and a certain number of days to change their mind). But I think after a certain time frame the dude is shit outta luck and needs to take care of his kid.

-Kaysay- 2 kids; Italy 5611 posts
18th Dec '12

If the father doesn't want to be a part of the kid's life from the get go, I feel that he should be free of financial/parental obligation to the child. He should have no say in abortion though, that is 100% mother's choice.



My oldest son's biological father saw him a few times and he couldn't do it. I never collected child support, I never bothered him. Even as a teen, I felt he shouldn't be forced to be a parent if he didn't want to be one. Honestly, I'm thankful he chose to be completely out of his life and to let my husband, who has ALWAYS been his dad, adopt him instead of being a p***e o* s**t coming in and out of his life.