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Disciplining Violent 5 1/2 year old, wwyd? user banned
18th Dec '12

Our son has gotten in serious trouble twice now in less than a week St school. Any time someone is mean, or does something he doesn't like, he gets very violent. He hits, bites, etc.
ETA: today he also spit on someone, and ate someone's lunch.
the first time, he tried to hit his teacher several times because she intervened.



He has some "self-control issues". But he's well aware that he is not to ever hurt someone or attempt to, and that he needs to just use his words.



We've removed privileges, punished him to his room, had him write sentences to apologize, etc.
Nothing seems to have worked, and if this escalates any further I don't think he'll be able to continue going to school.



We are a loving family. We don't argue in front of him, we are not violent. He is not neglected, and the most violent TV show he ever watches is Power Rangers. I don't know why he's acting this way or what to do.
He generally behaves at home. Sometimes he gets in trouble for hurting his sister. But he's usually happy and sweet.



WWYD?

That girl Amber +2 2 kids; California 6981 posts
18th Dec '12

Call his pedi

Estrella ♥ Luna 1 child; 780 posts
18th Dec '12

Is there anything else going on?
Any reason for him to be acting in that manner?



Anyone teasing him?
question him as to how he is treated by other students in school. Doesn't give him a reason to hit but maybe something is bothering him that you and your SO don't know of.

It's so Fluffayy! Due March 17 (girl); 19 kids; Texas 4279 posts
18th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mayhem.:</b>" Our son has gotten in serious trouble twice now in less than a week St school. Any time someone is mean, ... [snip!] ... He generally behaves at home. Sometimes he gets in trouble for hurting his sister. But he's usually happy and sweet. WWYD?"</blockquote>




Maybe he's possibly being bullied at school and is reacting back? That's the only thing I think of.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
18th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Amberchik78:</b>" Call his pedi"</blockquote>




How will that resolve this?

Two Princesses 2 kids; Long Beach, CA, United States 7203 posts
18th Dec '12

Aww momma I'm sorry you are going through this.
Is he the one who you think may have Asperger syndrome, if you don't mind me asking?
Because if he does have this that would explain why he has such trouble controling his behavior in situations he finds stressful, despite knowing the consequences.
Therapy may be something you might want to look into. Behavior modification is what they call it in adults I think, but I am not sure about children and I am no expert.
Keeping you and yours in my thoughts.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
18th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Estrella ♥ Luna:</b>" Is there anything else going on? Any reason for him to be acting in that manner? Anyone teasing him? ... [snip!] ... students in school. Doesn't give him a reason to hit but maybe something is bothering him that you and your SO don't know of."</blockquote>




He's told both DH and I that they were "mean" first.
But even so, violence is not acceptable. He is well aware of that. He's surrounsed by adults during lunch time, and.his teacher is obviously in the class room. He knows to go to an adult. He just doesn't do it.

Freckleface Watermelon 18 kids; Dallas, Texas 37756 posts
18th Dec '12

I would contact the doctor if it's that severe.



Also, I would try rewarding good behavior. Be consistant with teaching right/wrong but reward for positive school days.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
18th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Two Princesses:</b>" Aww momma I'm sorry you are going through this. Is he the one who you think may have Asperger syndrome, ... [snip!] ... what they call it in adults I think, but I am not sure about children and I am no expert. Keeping you and yours in my thoughts."</blockquote>




Thank you <3
Yeah, he's the one. Its one of the "red flags" for us, for sure. We plan on getting it figured out soon. I just feel so overwhelmed by everything, I just want to cry.

That girl Amber +2 2 kids; California 6981 posts
18th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mayhem.:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Amberchik78:</b>" Call his pedi"</blockquote> How will that resolve this?"</blockquote>



The pedi would typically have suggestions for behavioral problems, or could refer you to someone who could help

Estrella ♥ Luna 1 child; 780 posts
18th Dec '12
Quoting Mayhem.:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Estrella ♥ Luna:</b>" Is there anything else going on? ... [snip!] ... by adults during lunch time, and.his teacher is obviously in the class room. He knows to go to an adult. He just doesn't do it."

I suggest you call the pedi, tell her that you're interested in putting your son in therapy.



They'll start him with a one day a week treatment, then as he progresses move him to every 2 weeks, then once a month and so forth.
maybe it will help him out. I'm sorry you're going through this.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
18th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Estrella ♥ Luna:</b>" I suggest you call the pedi, tell her that you're interested in putting your son in therapy. They'll ... [snip!] ... move him to every 2 weeks, then once a month and so forth. maybe it will help him out. I'm sorry you're going through this."</blockquote>




I feel like that's not the first thing I want to do, like...shouldn't we get him evaluated for behavioral issues, etc before sending him to therapy regularly?

Two Princesses 2 kids; Long Beach, CA, United States 7203 posts
18th Dec '12
Quoting Mayhem.:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Two Princesses:</b>" Aww momma I'm sorry you are going through ... [snip!] ... flags" for us, for sure. We plan on getting it figured out soon. I just feel so overwhelmed by everything, I just want to cry."



*Hugs*
It's gonna be ok momma.
My mom's best friend's son who I basicly grew up with has Aspergers Syndrome, and I've had several friends who do too. It's harder for them to take in and react to things when they are little. As little people aren't always known for the best impulse control anyway, even without something like AS.
This can be worked through. Have you contacted a specialist to have him evaluated yet? I think he became old enough around 3? but again I'm not certain.
The sooner you can get him seen and diagnosed, the sooner you can get an IEP team in place for school (If he doesn't already have one) and they will be very helpful in coordinating the services he will need to make things easier for him and those around him.
As he gets older with the right care I am 99% certain these issues will for the most part resolve themselves.
There are also support groups for parents in your shoes, have you looked into those?

Two Princesses 2 kids; Long Beach, CA, United States 7203 posts
18th Dec '12
Quoting Mayhem.:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Estrella ♥ Luna:</b>" I suggest you call the pedi, tell ... [snip!] ... thing I want to do, like...shouldn't we get him evaluated for behavioral issues, etc before sending him to therapy regularly?"



In my opinion, yes. or therapy may not be as effective. He may require specialized services if he does have AS or another type of behavior issue.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
18th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Two Princesses:</b>" *Hugs* It's gonna be ok momma. My mom's best friend's son who I basicly grew up with has Aspergers ... [snip!] ... will for the most part resolve themselves. There are also support groups for parents in your shoes, have you looked into those?"</blockquote>




I haven't done any of that yet :(
We kept petting people convince us that his behavior is "normal".



At his parent/teacher conference, his teacher mentioned that she noticed his lack of self control, whether he's excited or upset, and asked us if we had talked to his pedi.
We're uninsured right now, which makes it difficult to get much done, his doctor will only take cash up front, and we just don't have it at the moment, so it's rough.
We'll have insurance soon, but obviously something has to be done in the meantime. I just don't know what.