Reply
PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
18th Dec '12

I don't have a problem with her wanting to drug test the surrogate, however, if she expects the surrogate to eat an organic-vegan diet, she should be willing to pay SOME of the cost associated with that.

tinana+2 TTC since Nov 2013; 2 kids; Staten Island, NY, United States 29663 posts
18th Dec '12
Quoting Mama Rice:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Angel [Mariah's Mommy]:</b>" I mean I get it, kinda, but if ... [snip!] ... Oh how could I forget.....she wants the surrogate to agree to an all natural, unmedicated, home birth in her house."


She has to sit back and consider what's more important in the long run... a baby carried exactly the way she wants it to be, or no baby at all. Compromise on her part is going to be very important if she wants a child. :cry:

user banned Zwolle, Louisiana 101 posts
18th Dec '12

If she wants a child desperately, she will eventually have to change her mind and be a bit more realistic. She may get lucky to find a vegan/organic pro surrogate but she could be waiting a very long time.

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 19436 posts
18th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama Rice:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Angel [Mariah's Mommy]:</b>" I mean I get it, kinda, but if ... [snip!] ... Oh how could I forget.....she wants the surrogate to agree to an all natural, unmedicated, home birth in her house."</blockquote>




Wow.



That is totally nuts.




No way is someone going to want to do that. She better come back down to Earth.

Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11980 posts
18th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting pilot Jess:</b>" I think it's fair because if someone doesn't want to follow her requests, they don't have to be her surrogate. ... [snip!] ... 9 months for that kind of money (yeah, I know people do it to be kind a lot of the times, but that seems really unfair to me)"</blockquote>



She is counting the medical bills into what they are being paid. :/ I tried to tell her that medical bills for YOUR baby should not be part of their pay.

Sam H. 17 kids; New York 560 posts
18th Dec '12

3-5 is way under priced. I don't see the issue in her having requests because these are things agreed on when the surrogate agrees. If the surrogate agrees, there is no issue, but vegan and no pills is hard! Poor girl not having tylonol with pain or if she gets sick? sorry that sounds a bit harsh to me, and I would never surrogate for such a control freak.

Angel [Mariah's Mommy] 1 child; Indianapolis, Indiana 18065 posts
18th Dec '12
Quoting Mama Rice:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Angel [Mariah's Mommy]:</b>" I mean I get it, kinda, but if ... [snip!] ... Oh how could I forget.....she wants the surrogate to agree to an all natural, unmedicated, home birth in her house."


ha! good luck with that. honestly, i very seriously doubt she's going to find it, not to mention the people that I've known to do surrogacy give/receives 10-40k

user banned Zwolle, Louisiana 101 posts
18th Dec '12

I had IVF and if the embryo is that is transferred was frozen, then what are her thoughts on artificial hormones? Surrogate will have to have them to keep the baby in!

Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11980 posts
18th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting tinana +2:</b>" She has to sit back and consider what's more important in the long run... a baby carried exactly the ... [snip!] ... the way she wants it to be, or no baby at all. Compromise on her part is going to be very important if she wants a child. :cry:"</blockquote>



Each time one of our mutual friends has a baby (a lot of them are having babies, 17 mutual friends, or their wives/girlfriends, are pregnant) she gets so sad. I know she wants a baby.

Angel [Mariah's Mommy] 1 child; Indianapolis, Indiana 18065 posts
18th Dec '12
Quoting Mama Rice:" <blockquote><b>Quoting tinana +2:</b>" She has to sit back and consider what's more ... [snip!] ... them are having babies, 17 mutual friends, or their wives/girlfriends, are pregnant) she gets so sad. I know she wants a baby."


she's going to eventually have to change her expectations then.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
18th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting pilot Jess:</b>" I think it's fair because if someone doesn't want to follow her requests, they don't have to be her surrogate. ... [snip!] ... 9 months for that kind of money (yeah, I know people do it to be kind a lot of the times, but that seems really unfair to me)"</blockquote>




When i was looking into being a surrogate the average amount offered as compensation to the surrogate was much higher than 3-5k. Considering her special requirements for the surrogate, I would never be able to agree to that.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59981 posts
18th Dec '12

A few things.



I think she should be looking for someone that already eats that diet, compromise on the birth plan if that person is not comfortable with it (ETA: ask if she'd like to be giving birth in a stranger's house), and offer higher compensation.



That's JMO, but for what she's wanting, and what she's giving... does not seem fair (especially if she's speaking to people who would have to change their entire diet and pay for it, yaknow?)

Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11980 posts
18th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" A few things. I think she should be looking for someone that already eats that diet, compromise on the ... [snip!] ... does not seem fair (especially if she's speaking to people who would have to change their entire diet and pay for it, yaknow?)"</blockquote>



She was hoping someone who already eats that way would be interested, but out of the 12 one was a vegetarian (but she did eat eggs, not sure if that counts) and was not willing to cut milk or eggs out. She also agreed to a home waterbirth (but at her house and my friend was going to be able to witness it from there). She said the lowest she would do it for was $7,000 though. My friend said she "wasn't a good fit". :/ I hope she comes to her senses and contacts this girl before she ends up being a surrogate for someone else or changes her mind entirely. I think she was the closest she is going to get.

~~My Pet Wussy~~ 3 kids; USA 23722 posts
18th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama Rice:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" A few things. I think she should be looking ... [snip!] ... she ends up being a surrogate for someone else or changes her mind entirely. I think she was the closest she is going to get."</blockquote>




I think she really needs to look at what she is asking and determine which requests a absolute deal breakers. Which ever ones she decides she needs to be aware that they may cost her the baby.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59981 posts
18th Dec '12
Quoting Mama Rice:" <blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" A few things. I think she should be looking ... [snip!] ... she ends up being a surrogate for someone else or changes her mind entirely. I think she was the closest she is going to get."


Wow. :?



That sounds.................. ridiculously close to what she wants to me. I'm amazed. Only 7,000, at home, and eating a tiny fraction of what is a no...



If my expectations were that high, I would assume I was setting myself up for failure.