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Cast Your Vote:

    • yup you're gonna be a cat lady -- Votes: 2
    • have some hope -- Votes: 14
    • eat all the cookies to make you feel better -- Votes: 7
MamaTiffy[20-weeks] Due August 2 (girl); 2 kids; Sunnyvale, CA, United States 8725 posts
19th Dec '12
Quoting Alyssa's mommy [EBFT]:" Nope, so far I've only dated one guy so we would go to chuck e cheese, the park, the zoo for our "dates""


Well we did go out just the two of us twice in the beginning. I'm very hesitant to bring my daughter around anyone especially men. I'm very untrusting, and always hear horror stories about the mother's boyfriend hurting the child, and usually while the mom turns a blind eye! But, given that this guy was a single dad with full custody he must be a great guy because especially here in California it is very hard for a dad to get full custody. I hung out with him and his daughter to see how he interacts with her before bring my daughter with me for a get together. It didn't work out from a romantic perspective mostly because I just wasn't interested in him in that way but we are still great friends and get the girls together at least once a month.



I live with my mom and sister. The two times I went out with him was after LO was in bed for the night, I can hardly ever get them to babysit.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
19th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Alyssa's mommy [EBFT]:</b>" Well we did go out just the two of us twice in the beginning. I'm very hesitant to bring my daughter ... [snip!] ... and sister. The two times I went out with him was after LO was in bed for the night, I can hardly ever get them to babysit. "</blockquote>




Oh ok. Sounds cool

Betty Draper 1 child; Illinois 753 posts
20th Dec '12

I also have a POF account... mostly made it to see if guys would still think I was attractive. .and cuz my BD has one...I never met anyone from there cuz I dont have time and I dont wanna ask my parents to babysit while I date random guys. BE POSITIVE!! :) And it is true about finding things when your're not looking .....I met a guy at art party...its not love or a relationship -a new friend but still --I met someone. I went out I wanted to be social and have fun.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
20th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting snickle_fritz:</b>" I also have a POF account... mostly made it to see if guys would still think I was attractive. .and cuz ... [snip!] ... party...its not love or a relationship -a new friend but still --I met someone. I went out I wanted to be social and have fun."</blockquote>




Thanks :)



Glad you met a friend

mom2andrew&carter 18 kids; Leesburg, Florida 2159 posts
21st Dec '12

sounds exactly like me as well i am with my kids 24/7 cause their dad is an a*****e and doesnt really see them much. I have no time to date or anything cause i dont want to bring my kids into it. i probably am gonna be alone until they start school and i am able to have time to date

Brie Fleurs 1 child; Des Moines, Iowa 305 posts
21st Dec '12

I feel the exact way you do. I never go anywhere either. I don't even have friends. Some days its nice but it does get lonely. I don't think I'll ever get back out there though. I just don't feel like that I'll be able to trust another male again. I just feel broken.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
21st Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Brie Fleurs:</b>" I feel the exact way you do. I never go anywhere either. I don't even have friends. Some days its nice ... [snip!] ... I'll ever get back out there though. I just don't feel like that I'll be able to trust another male again. I just feel broken."</blockquote>




Yea me too. It does get easier as time goes by being single I think. Sometimes I want to just hang out with a guy. But single parents have to make sacrifices I guess.

Brie Fleurs 1 child; Des Moines, Iowa 305 posts
21st Dec '12
Quoting momma melissa85:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Brie Fleurs:</b>" I feel the exact way you do. I never go anywhere ... [snip!] ... goes by being single I think. Sometimes I want to just hang out with a guy. But single parents have to make sacrifices I guess."

I would like to hang out with anyone but my baby is too little. The winter is killing me hopefully when it warms up things it will be better.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
21st Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Brie Fleurs:</b>" I would like to hang out with anyone but my baby is too little. The winter is killing me hopefully when it warms up things it will be better."</blockquote>




Well thank goodness I do have a female friend me and the baby hang out with sometimes :) and I got bg, my only real conversation other than work lol

Legendary Yo Mama Due January 31 (boy); 12 kids; 724 posts
22nd Dec '12

I get hit on more when I have 3 kids with me then when I'm single! This dude last week made a u turn to try to give me his number! Im no super model, but I'm not ugly. You need to gather another kid or two lol.
I used to think guys would have a problem dating me with kids, but it's all in my head.
I know you feel hopeless, but get happy and life will be tons better. I used to feel like you, but I changed my outlook.
You are perfect!

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
22nd Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Stl mama:</b>" I get hit on more when I have 3 kids with me then when I'm single! This dude last week made a u turn ... [snip!] ... feel hopeless, but get happy and life will be tons better. I used to feel like you, but I changed my outlook. You are perfect!"</blockquote>




Thank you :) I.am working on being happier. I used to dress really cute and I even lost 25 lbs, smaller than Pre pregnancy but I can't fit into my clothes bc of my gut and I have a muscle disorder which makes it hard to exercise. I think that shot a lot of my confidence bc I still look really pregnant :( plus my hair came out at my temples so I had to cut my bangs really short, short like a kid messed up and cut them. That makes me really insecure. But my hair will grow back and I'm slowly but surely trying to exercise again.



I want more kids :) lol

Legendary Yo Mama Due January 31 (boy); 12 kids; 724 posts
22nd Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting momma melissa85:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Stl mama:</b>" I get hit on more when I have 3 kids with me ... [snip!] ... me really insecure. But my hair will grow back and I'm slowly but surely trying to exercise again. I want more kids :) lol"</blockquote>




Get a girdle. No shame. It's like $20 at target. Please be happy with yourself and show your daughter that life is freakin wonderful. There's a group at church called mops they have it in the morning and some churches the evenings. Of course I'm the only single mom there and used to feel like a pos. you should feel no shame being single mom. This is how life worked out right now. It isn't forever. I'm sorry you feel crappy (as did I) please please please write a list of what you are grateful for and pray with your child.
I used to feel people were judging me. But I realized I'm judging them by thinking they are judging me.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
22nd Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Stl mama:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting momma melissa85:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Stl ... [snip!] ... pray with your child. I used to feel people were judging me. But I realized I'm judging them by thinking they are judging me."</blockquote>




Yea I have a few actually lol but they don't help much sigh my tummy was flat well very close after birth and it just got bigger. But I'm going to try a new way of eating so maybe that will help. I'm always happy around my lo. She makes my day. I can be very sad until I see her face :) I do def count my blessings bc life could be a lot worse for me. Being a single mom is hard but I don't resent it. I would like to have more free time yes but I think I.just get lonely sometimes but I have to learn to accept my situation and see the positive in it 100% instead of what I don't have.



I do gotta work on myself more to so I can be a good example to her. Thank you for the advice and encouragement.

Legendary Yo Mama Due January 31 (boy); 12 kids; 724 posts
22nd Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting momma melissa85:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Stl mama:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting momma melissa85:</b>" ... [snip!] ... don't have. I do gotta work on myself more to so I can be a good example to her. Thank you for the advice and encouragement."</blockquote>




Awww. Please be happy.Be yourself, everyone else is taken. You can go to a gym like golds they have free child care. We can do this! It sucks a lot of times but it's worth it.

blah 17 kids; Alabama 7639 posts
22nd Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Stl mama:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting momma melissa85:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Stl ... [snip!] ... is taken. You can go to a gym like golds they have free child care. We can do this! It sucks a lot of times but it's worth it."</blockquote>




Aw thanks :) can't afford a gym right now and since I have Guillaine Barre I can't work out much, my.muscles can't take it BUT I haveva treadmill, stationery bike, p90x, insanity, jillian michaels, Zimbabwe and countless yoga videos for when I can work out. I have been walking which I can do and eating right. I gained 38 lbs in pregnancy and lost 41 total :) I am proud of myself and I'm a great mom. I really am too hard on myself




You are right. There is only one me and as long as I give my best then that's all that counts