Reply
*No Apologies* Due June 22; 2 angel babies; Over the Rainbow, NY, United States 1642 posts
Dec 26th '12
Quoting ♡Sarah♡ + 2:" i wouldnt get involved in their relationship by telling him. But I would have a hard time keeping it ... [snip!] ... wouldnt want my husband to think I was ok with her behavior and he might get that impression if he knows you knew about it all."


True

user banned Altadena, California 11084 posts
Dec 26th '12

I would tell her to not tell you anymore about the other man until her divorce is final. Because you are friends to both of them, and you do not condone what she is doing. Cheating is Cheating, regardless if the marriage is ending, until the divorce is final it is cheating.

The Doctor 2 kids; Boulder, CO, United States 60754 posts
Dec 26th '12
Quoting Raωkeℓ:" I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. :? She's a horrible person. I understand when ... [snip!] ... should have some respect. I hate women like this and would put her in her place, and walk away and never speak to her again."


I absolutely agree that she is being disrespectful... but this hardly makes her a horrible person. She said that they have been having trouble.



Yes, absolutely she is going about it the wrong way. No question.



But... relationships fail. Doesn't make her a horrible person. JMO, of course.

*No Apologies* Due June 22; 2 angel babies; Over the Rainbow, NY, United States 1642 posts
Dec 26th '12
Quoting Raωkeℓ:" I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. :? She's a horrible person. I understand when ... [snip!] ... should have some respect. I hate women like this and would put her in her place, and walk away and never speak to her again."


Yeah. It sucks. Looks like im gonna be losing a friend. But the fact that she thinks its "not cheating" is really getting to me. Like really????

Raωkeℓ 1 child; Costa Rica 8257 posts
Dec 26th '12
Quoting The Doctor:" I absolutely agree that she is being disrespectful... but this hardly makes her a horrible person. ... [snip!] ... is going about it the wrong way. No question. But... relationships fail. Doesn't make her a horrible person. JMO, of course."


I disagree. You learn the true character of someone when things get rough. She's running to another man, while her husband is off in a combat zone...because of issues. I don't think I could ever respect someone like that. Whether there were problems or not, she is married.. adultery is still wrong, whether the marriage is happy or unhealthy. So, I still think she's horrible. I don't know. I think I hold issues like this close to me because I've had friends go through this and see the effect it was on them.

The Doctor 2 kids; Boulder, CO, United States 60754 posts
Dec 26th '12
Quoting ♥ ORIGINAL:" Yeah. It sucks. Looks like im gonna be losing a friend. But the fact that she thinks its "not cheating" is really getting to me. Like really????"


What did you say to her when she told you that?

*No Apologies* Due June 22; 2 angel babies; Over the Rainbow, NY, United States 1642 posts
Dec 26th '12
Quoting I'm Marbles:" I would tell her to not tell you anymore about the other man until her divorce is final. Because you ... [snip!] ... what she is doing. Cheating is Cheating, regardless if the marriage is ending, until the divorce is final it is cheating. "


EXACTLY! Its like there both my friends and it is cheating. I would feel terrible if i came back from a deployment and everyone around me knew my husband was cheating and I was the last to know. I just dont know what to do with this info. But im definetly telling my husband, no doubt.

Raωkeℓ 1 child; Costa Rica 8257 posts
Dec 26th '12
Quoting ♥ ORIGINAL:" Yeah. It sucks. Looks like im gonna be losing a friend. But the fact that she thinks its "not cheating" is really getting to me. Like really????"


Wow. That's sad. Have you said anything to her about this or ignoring it to keep the friendship going?

*No Apologies* Due June 22; 2 angel babies; Over the Rainbow, NY, United States 1642 posts
Dec 26th '12
Quoting The Doctor:" What did you say to her when she told you that?"


I told her she is still married and bawled her out for doing it. I even asked her if conseling would help. But she flat out says the marriage is over. She even has had him around her son.

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
Dec 26th '12

I don't agree with all the ppl saying its not your place. If one person would have had the guys to tell me what he was doing, I would have spared myself humiliation and. 4 months of trying to "get back to how we were."
She told you, even if she trusts you she knows there is a chance it will get out. If she sent you a txt or message about it and you have her saying it I'm writing, I'd tell him and show him the proof. It's wrong to keep her nasty dirt a secret. It would be different if she already told him its over or filled for a divorce. But I'm guessing she hasn't and that's cheating.

*No Apologies* Due June 22; 2 angel babies; Over the Rainbow, NY, United States 1642 posts
Dec 26th '12
Quoting Raωkeℓ:" Wow. That's sad. Have you said anything to her about this or ignoring it to keep the friendship going?"


We spoke on the phone about it this morning when she called to talk about some random junk. I told her I didnt want any part of it, and called her selfish for putting me in the middle of her drama.

Raωkeℓ 1 child; Costa Rica 8257 posts
Dec 26th '12
Quoting ♥ ORIGINAL:" I told her she is still married and bawled her out for doing it. I even asked her if conseling would help. But she flat out says the marriage is over. She even has had him around her son."


The grass isn't always greener, and she'll see that soon.
I think the reason she is so adamant about the fact that it is over, is because of this guy she should have never gotten involved with in the first place. Is he also military?

*No Apologies* Due June 22; 2 angel babies; Over the Rainbow, NY, United States 1642 posts
Dec 26th '12
Quoting Jenna+1:" I don't agree with all the ppl saying its not your place. If one person would have had the guys to tell ... [snip!] ... would be different if she already told him its over or filled for a divorce. But I'm guessing she hasn't and that's cheating."


She literally told me over the weekend. And as far as i know, nope no divorce papers have been filed, so yep shes cheating.

*No Apologies* Due June 22; 2 angel babies; Over the Rainbow, NY, United States 1642 posts
Dec 26th '12
Quoting Raωkeℓ:" The grass isn't always greener, and she'll see that soon. I think the reason she is so adamant about ... [snip!] ... that it is over, is because of this guy she should have never gotten involved with in the first place. Is he also military?"


To my understanding hes like 5 or 6 years younger and they met on campus of her school. So i dont think he is.

The Doctor 2 kids; Boulder, CO, United States 60754 posts
Dec 26th '12
Quoting Raωkeℓ:" I disagree. You learn the true character of someone when things get rough. She's running to another ... [snip!] ... know. I think I hold issues like this close to me because I've had friends go through this and see the effect it was on them."


Yes, and I agree that her actions are entirely wrong and disrespectful to her husband and her committment. She is going about this the wrong way.



I've been cheated on, I know it sucks, and I know it must be amplified by a zillion if you are far away from home and in dangerous situations.



I am not at all justifying her actions. But I do not think that she can be labled as a horrible person based on her being tempted to cheat and justifying it in her mind when her relationship is going downhill and she feels its ending.



I agree that she needs to just grab some balls and tell her husband it's over before she sleeps with someone else. But I do not think that cheating in itself makes anyone a horrible person. It's sad that your friends have had girlfriends or wives cheat on them, and it hurts no matter what your career is. But we have not been in those relationships, and don't know how the two people deal with each other. I just feel like it's an unfair judgement to make.... not that I agree with her actions. haha