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molestation... help to move forward rubberduck_smith 2 kids; Elizabeth City, North Carolina 295 posts
28th Dec '12

what should be done... if a parent found "naughty" pics of their very young child. the pics were taken by the child, but its obvious that it wasnt the first time its been done. dont repeat this please! mil gave us used (the kids play it there all the time) ds gameboys for the kids for christmas. i was going through the one gameboy to delete pictures that all the kids had taken. going through it, i found pics of step-daughter from october 25-26th this year. in the pics, she is trying to take a picture of her cooter-bug! several pics mind you! and about 5 of them were successful. it terrible, because a 6 year doesnt/shouldnt know how to -SORRY FOR THE VULGARITY- pull the hood of her cooter-bug up and spread the lips. and thats whats in the pic. like its been done before! i dont think she knows how to edit the pictures, since there is an editing thing on it. the pics are edited, someone put a swirl on the picture so that youre not supposed to know what you are looking at. but it is painfully obvious! i told dad she is NOT getting that gameboy! but i really think she needs to be seen in therapy. i dont know if something is still going on with her and the other kids. i tried to make an appointment with kids first today, but they are closed until monday. i just dont know where to go from here. like, pretending like it never happened isnt doing the kids any good. i want them seen by a doctor to find out if its still currently going on! all 3 of the step kids were molested by their mothers father. cps has been involved long ago, and they were seeing a therapist a long time ago for it. i even caught the 4 year old telling my 2 year old to touch her "boobies" a few weeks ago and it made me blow up!! what happened to the older 3 is sad! it shouldnt have happened. but i cant control that. i can control what happens to my kids! and i be damned if i let the people closest to my boys, their siblings, hurt them just because its what they know! the kids need help!! i think something is still going on! i want them to be seen before anything goes further!! im so confused. i didnt delete the pics, in case they need to be seen by kids first or any other kind of law enforcement type services. what should i do? what im trying to push the daddy to do? he doesnt want to deal with it- not because he just doesnt care, but because he wants to pretend that the whole thing never happened and that his children werent ever touched in a negative way. i cant live in his dream world, i dont want that cycle to continue. and if nothing is going on anymore with the kids, they still need help because there is still an underlying problem!! help!



Nut ღ Meg Beverly Hills, CA, United States 40235 posts
28th Dec '12

I do agree a visit with the doctor and child psychologist is a great idea. I'm not sure what other directions you could go though.



I wish you the best and so sorry to your children. Poor little ones. Makes my heart hurt for them... :(

homes cool 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 60891 posts
28th Dec '12
Quoting Meg ♥:" I do agree a visit with the doctor and child psychologist is a great idea. I'm not sure what other directions ... [snip!] ... you could go though. I wish you the best and so sorry to your children. Poor little ones. Makes my heart hurt for them... :( "


I agree. I'm so sorry you guys are in this situation.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
28th Dec '12

The passed abuse is enough to want the kids in therapy/counciling for the foreseeable future. But the little girl taking pictures of her vagina, IMO, is no different than her trying to see what it looks like with a mirror. I remember doing that (looking with a mirror) when I was very young, like 5-6, just because i was curious about what I looked like down there, infusing opening the labia and pulling back the hood. I was never sexually abused nor did I ever abuse my younger siblings, it was just curiosity.



ETA: don't punish her by taking the game away for taking the pictures. It will only cause her to associate her body with shame which in the long run will only do more damage. And she COULD have edited them herself, my 6yo knows how to edit pictures on his camera.

user banned Des Moines, Iowa 1848 posts
28th Dec '12

You need to get the kids in therapy. My son had similar stuff occur on his life and he cited out on my girls who told my husband and me. Such a terrible position to be in.
We've been doing therapy for almost two years! We got door chimes for his bedro door and an infrared camera to watch him when we are unable to be in the room.
You also need to talk to all of the kids about it. Need
To have a strong leel of trust with your little ones to ensure that they would tell you if anything happened.

drunk faith1 1 child; Alabama 10081 posts
28th Dec '12

Those kids really do need therapy. But I don't agree with punishing the 6 year old by taking away the gameboy because she took those pictures. She doesn't know any better, and punishing her isn't going to help.

Emily Thorne 2 kids; Quetzaltenango, Guatemala 26302 posts
28th Dec '12
Quoting Meg ♥:" I do agree a visit with the doctor and child psychologist is a great idea. I'm not sure what other directions ... [snip!] ... you could go though. I wish you the best and so sorry to your children. Poor little ones. Makes my heart hurt for them... :( "


:!:



I'm so sorry :(

LevinOnJetPlaneDntKnoWenI Pennsylvania 1590 posts
28th Dec '12

How old is the oldest child? Can you perhaps ask him/her if someone is touching them inappropriately? I know its a hard thing to do with kids, I'd probably burst into tears talking to a child about that type of thing. But you should still contact the doctor on monday. Sorry you have to go through this with them.

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
28th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama2WinterGirls:</b>" How old is the oldest child? Can you perhaps ask him/her if someone is touching them inappropriately? ... [snip!] ... child about that type of thing. But you should still contact the doctor on monday. Sorry you have to go through this with them."</blockquote>




Actually asking them flat out like that is considered "leading questions" and an investigation will not take any answers derived through "leading questions" as evidence. If they are going to ask them anything it has to be vague questions that don't imply abuse.

rubberduck_smith 2 kids; Elizabeth City, North Carolina 295 posts
28th Dec '12

the kids wont say, because its their family that did it. and their mom still takes them to that a*****e! i feel like s9omething is going on still, and needs help. the gameboy, although i know she really is the victim, wont be going back to her unless the doctor says its fine. we havent confronted her about it, since she is with her mom right this minute. its just a crappy place to be in, and i dont want to be. but since im here it needs to be fixed!!! and i guess i have to lead this parade. thanks everyone!

drunk faith1 1 child; Alabama 10081 posts
28th Dec '12
Quoting rubberduck_smith:" the kids wont say, because its their family that did it. and their mom still takes them to that a*****e! ... [snip!] ... in, and i dont want to be. but since im here it needs to be fixed!!! and i guess i have to lead this parade. thanks everyone!"

You need to get the police involved immediately if your step children are in the hands of the man who has molested them.

LevinOnJetPlaneDntKnoWenI Pennsylvania 1590 posts
28th Dec '12
Quoting MommaSav2:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mama2WinterGirls:</b>" How old is the oldest child? Can you ... [snip!] ... "leading questions" as evidence. If they are going to ask them anything it has to be vague questions that don't imply abuse."

I know. We had a similar occurance within my family and I went to school for criminal justice. Its just early to think straight

rubberduck_smith 2 kids; Elizabeth City, North Carolina 295 posts
28th Dec '12

its not illeagal, go figure that out! as long as he or the mom is there with the ids between the hours of 8-4, its legal. i dont understand! but there is nothing we can do about it!! as for the leading questions, i know that too. thats why im trying to get her seen, because i dont want to ruin an investigation by leading to an answer. it sucks!!!

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
28th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama2WinterGirls:</b>" I know. We had a similar occurance within my family and I went to school for criminal justice. Its just early to think straight"</blockquote>



Yeah i went to school for early childhood education so when I am working as a teacher I'm a mandated reporter and you have to be well versed in the signs of abuse and procedures to report and investigate. I actuallh think that considering the fact that I'm educated on the signs and symptoms of abuse I'm a morally mandated reported even as a SAHM.
Op, I hope you find answers soon. I'm so sorry those babies are going through this.

speaktruth2powr 2 kids; Ontario 45005 posts
28th Dec '12

First off, since there is a really good reason to expect the children are being abused, please call their genitals by their actual names - cooter-bug is not correct, and could undermine any investigation that is going to happen in the future.



Has CPS been called?



Has your husband filed for custody?