I am seriously the epitome of an over protective mom. And I'll admit, at some points, overbearing.
I can't take her to the playground, let her run free and just sit there. I have to get up and walk around and follow her from one side to the other. I'm paranoid she is going to get kidnapped, run into the road chasing something, or fall off the jungle gym and break something.
In parking lots she knows to hold my hand and stay close to me. She knows to look both ways and she is aware of her surroundings (as aware as a 4.5 year old can be)
I don't like her playing in the backyard of my SIL house if I'm not out there with her. (There is a large pond in the back.)
I just feel like I watch her like a hawk constantly when other parents are so care-free with their kids and what they're doing. They bring them to the playground and just let them roam free and do whatever, without a care.
If she isn't in my sight (mainly when we are out and somewhere that isn't too familiar) I'm nervous.
How do you guys relax and keep calm with your kids?
I don't want her to get anxiety from me being paranoid! lol
Quoting ashleyxdisaster:" I am seriously the epitome of an over protective mom. And I'll admit, at some points, overbearing. ... [snip!] ... nervous. How do you guys relax and keep calm with your kids? I don't want her to get anxiety from me being paranoid! lol"
I dont. I'm the same way you are!
I think you sound pretty normal. I'm the same way.
Quoting Mama❍Moon:" Have another kid 8)"
I have 3 and nothing has changed. I'm still just as overprotective as I was 3 1/2 years ago lol
I think that's a good thing. I am the same way with my 4.5 yr old. I hate when parents let their kids roam around without any type of supervision then act all surprised when something happens to the kid.
I'm the same way, within reason. I am always watching DD when we are out, she's never anywhere that I cannot see her, or get to her quickly. But, I do let her roam the playground freely if she wants to. She's 3.5 and I don't feel like I need to be right by her side when she's playing on a playground. I'll sit like 10 feet away and be fine.
I am the same way and my oldest is 6. I don't even let them play in the backyard unless I am out there. Our yard is fenced in and we are in a 'safe' neighborhood. Sometimes I will let them play in the yard if I have the back door open while I am in the kitchen cleaning with the kitchen windows open so I can still hear and see them but even then it stresses me out.
<blockquote><b>Quoting *BREE*:</b>" I think that's a good thing. I am the same way with my 4.5 yr old. I hate when parents let their kids ... [snip!] ... parents let their kids roam around without any type of supervision then act all surprised when something happens to the kid."</blockquote>
You are not over protective,you just actually watch your kid.
I'm like this with my two year old, and I see people letting their 2 year olds climb to the highest parts of the soft play with no supervision and I think it's craaaazy.
I think as long as you're being fun and not hindering her fun (within the parameters of safety) then its a good thing. If you're acting like a nervous wreck the whole time then it will have a negative effect.
Quoting *BREE*:" I think that's a good thing. I am the same way with my 4.5 yr old. I hate when parents let their kids ... [snip!] ... parents let their kids roam around without any type of supervision then act all surprised when something happens to the kid."
That makes me absolutely insane! One of my BIGGEST pet peeves.
I don't think you are too much of a helicopter parent. When I think paranoid parent it's the parents that won't let their nine year olds have sleepovers, or let older kids have play time with friends unless they are there even with other parents around to supervise.
That being said, I am more relaxed then my husband. He was shocked when I let her play in a puddle, and use to run to her at every tumble. I did get him to stop running to her unless she cries. For me as long as I can still see her while outside, I'm fine letting her explore. In my own mind I know it is how they learn, and that she does need to slowly become more independent from me each year that passes.
I used to be like that and overly paranoid with my daughters, if we were to go to a park or Jungle Java or somewhere and I were to lose sight of them for a second, I was POSITIVE they got kidnapped, and would be freaking out inside while trying to find them. I don't really have the mini panic attacks anymore, but I still like to always be able to see them and who is around them.
Im pretty much the same as you. I even had our pond removed when I was pregnant with my son cause kids and water scare the crap out of me.
I think the best way to keep an eye on them and not teach them to be paranoid or over cautious is to watch what you say and how you say it...KWIM? Like if they run off a bit at the park, instead of freaking out and running to the thema and going off the handle while squeezing the shit out of them with hugs....keep calm, control your emtions. Say 'Dont run off like that please' and then have your freak out in your head when they start to play again.
kind of like , if you're scared of bugs, and everytime you see one you scream and cry and make a production like a bug is worse then being in the holocaust, your child is going to be just as scared, so as parents we need to check ourselves and our reactions to things.
It's important to give children age-appropriate independence...if you don't it will stunt them emotionally.
Helicopter parenting is one of the biggest issues facing the last few generations of children...it can have serious ramifications on their life that people don't realize.