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Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting The Master:" I'm sorry but if bankruptcy, miscarriage, three hospitalizations for mental health issues, and my hoarding ... [snip!] ... over the past 9 years I doubt having a child is. In 8.6 years I'll be nearly 37, I will not be having any babies at that age."


Then by all means, TTC....but don't make a post saying you're not financially stable and ask whether or not you should add a baby to the mix, and get up in arms when someone tells you not to.

Monkey Nuts Australia 4572 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting Red Bottom:" NO, I'm observant and a realist. Have a baby you can't afford or wait until you can afford having a baby. I wonder what the smart choice is. "


OP Can obviously afford another kid.. they make 80K! If something drastic happened. i'm sure she would survive it.



You know what else is expensive? IVF at $10,000 a pop for all those women who thought they'd still be super fertile at almost 40 years of age.



Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting Monkey Nuts:" OP Can obviously afford another kid.. they make 80K! If something drastic happened. i'm sure she would ... [snip!] ... expensive? IVF at $10,000 a pop for all those women who thought they'd still be super fertile at almost 40 years of age. "


I'm unsure why we're discussing the price of rice in China.



If they're making 80K, have file for bankruptcy, have only saved $500, and live pay check to pay check...there's a problem.

The Master 2 kids; Perth, Australia 19989 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting Red Bottom:" NO, I'm observant and a realist. Have a baby you can't afford or wait until you can afford having a baby. I wonder what the smart choice


I can afford a baby now. I'm not on welfare, I can easily have $5000 saved up in 9 months time, I'll get paid maternity leave, I have an excess of 2 months credit on my mortgage. SO starts his promotion which is an extra $8,000 a year in 4 weeks. And I've just today got a letter through saying that Random House is interested in my novel (not really relevant but I''m as proud as punch).

The Master 2 kids; Perth, Australia 19989 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting Red Bottom:" I'm unsure why we're discussing the price of rice in China. If they're making 80K, have file for bankruptcy, have only saved $500, and live pay check to pay check...there's a problem. "


I filed for bankruptcy 8 years ago when I was a full time uni student and SO was a shelf stacker.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting The Master:" I can afford a baby now. I'm not on welfare, I can easily have $5000 saved up in 9 months time, I'll ... [snip!] ... today got a letter through saying that Random House is interested in my novel (not really relevant but I''m as proud as punch)."


If it's that easy, why haven't you done that in preparation? Why did you even ask for opinions if you were only interested in opinions that agreed with what you wanted to do in the first place?

Monkey Nuts Australia 4572 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting The Master:" I can afford a baby now. I'm not on welfare, I can easily have $5000 saved up in 9 months time, I'll ... [snip!] ... today got a letter through saying that Random House is interested in my novel (not really relevant but I''m as proud as punch)."


That's awesome! Congrats :)
You could be rolling in it soon!

The Master 2 kids; Perth, Australia 19989 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting Red Bottom:" If it's that easy, why haven't you done that in preparation? Why did you even ask for opinions if you were only interested in opinions that agreed with what you wanted to do in the first place? "


Because this is actually running on from someone elses thread that got put in TDC but several of us wanted to answer the OP.

The Master 2 kids; Perth, Australia 19989 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting Monkey Nuts:" That's awesome! Congrats :) You could be rolling in it soon!"


I doubt it.
Its actually funny because I entered the first volume of a massive fantasy novel I've been working on into a comp. I didn't win the comp but they got back to me saying they loved my writing style but had no market for epic fantasy and wanted to know what else I was working on. I told them about my contemporary gothic fantasy and they love it.

The Master 2 kids; Perth, Australia 19989 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting Red Bottom:" If it's that easy, why haven't you done that in preparation? Why did you even ask for opinions if you were only interested in opinions that agreed with what you wanted to do in the first place? "


Because I had to give up my nursing career due to my psoratic arthritis and have only just stablised enough in my new IT career to become tenured staff and start actually earning real money.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting The Master:" Because I had to give up my nursing career due to my psoratic arthritis and have only just stablised enough in my new IT career to become tenured staff and start actually earning real money."


So why not plan ahead, save the money first, and then have the baby, instead of TTC with no savings account while living pay check to pay check.

The Master 2 kids; Perth, Australia 19989 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting Red Bottom:" So why not plan ahead, save the money first, and then have the baby, instead of TTC with no savings account while living pay check to pay check. "


because I can only put off methatrexate so long. I have at most 2 years right now ... and that's conservative.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting The Master:" because I can only put off methatrexate so long. I have at most 2 years right now ... and that's conservative. "


Then take the risk of not being able to afford your child. Not something I would do, but by all means, go for it.

justanothamotha Due January 20; 130 kids; Climax, Michigan 5120 posts
29th Dec '12

There is a huge gap between what is stupid (having a bay while broke) and what is ideal (having a bay after you are well set). Most people fall between the two & which end your closer too really is something you have to assess. I have no idea if real estate is super pricey there or what - but a mortgage that high on that income would be HARD to get here. They don't liek to go too much more than 2.5 times your annual income which would put you under $200,000. A mortgage like that would certainly help you NOT live paycheck to paycheck & maybe get your cars paid off.



But whatever - that's just observation - the fact is, I think many bets are off it there is a timeline for a real valid reason, such as a health issue...and you seem to have a time limit.



Just to address an earlier post that makes it out like 40 yr olds regularly need assistance to get pregnant....I also have lots of friends & family that have waited to have kids until later & so far NONE have had any age related issues with TTC NOR needed fertility treatments & no 40 yr old I know have had any issue getting pregnant. In fact I know of 2 that got pregnant on accident. I have known people who needed IVF & IUI - and they were all well under 40 & 2 under 30. SO yes, fertility does wane some, but it's not as if you can say it is typical that all women after 40 can't get pregnant on their own. Many do just fine, in fact most do & most have no complications IF they are healthy going into the pregnancy.

The Master 2 kids; Perth, Australia 19989 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting justanothamotha:" There is a huge gap between what is stupid (having a bay while broke) and what is ideal (having a bay ... [snip!] ... on their own. Many do just fine, in fact most do & most have no complications IF they are healthy going into the pregnancy."


You wouldn't get a house here that didn't need extensive work done on them for less than $400,000 here. As it is my house is worth $420,000 as it sits. Australia is extremely expensive.



You friends may not mind it but the idea of having a 10 year old at the age of 50 does not fill me with maternal joy.