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My Husband Left Me Christmas Eve... Amber Crain-Grabenstein Due April 19 (boy); 16 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 17 posts
29th Dec '12

My husband and i have had our problems in the past. Even b4 we got married. He was in the Army for 2 yrs and we have been married for a year and a half of that. We got married July 25th, 2011. When we came back to our home state (bc he was stationed in Louisiana and we r from Maryland) he had completely changed. I was 13 weeks pregnant when we got back to Maryland and he left me at 23 weeks. Hes gone to wantimg to drink all the time and bc i asked him to at least not.get drunk Christmas Eve, he left me. Is it just a stage that hes going threw? Or is this the end of our marriage and family all over a spimple request about his alcohol? Im scared he wont come back. I love him so much id do anything i could to make.him happy. How should i go about all of this, honestly? :'(

ERMAGHERD BEEDS! 17 kids; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4099 posts
29th Dec '12

Was he deployed overseas? Could he have PTSD?

ANS && BAM xD 1 child; Lincoln, Nebraska 117 posts
29th Dec '12

My honest opinion, hopefully its just a stage! Don't give up, maybe try talking to him again after awhile?

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36477 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting GlowWormsMommy:" Was he deployed overseas? Could he have PTSD?"


That is what I was thinking when I read he is in the army.

Amber Crain-Grabenstein Due April 19 (boy); 16 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 17 posts
29th Dec '12

Yes he was deployed 2 times across seas. And he does have PTSD. He takes sleeping medication to help him at night and he has been going off about the simplest things. Hes VERY easily irritated now. I asked him to get help and id go with him for support (as ive always done.for.him) but its like hes scared to talk to anyone about his trama including me.

lolajessup Due July 25 (girl); 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44057 posts
29th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting GlowWormsMommy:</b>" Was he deployed overseas? Could he have PTSD?"</blockquote>



:!::?: it sounds like he has either depression or PTSD. You two should get some help from a counselor. That doesn't sound good :( I hope he comes back an you two can work it out. I never like to tell people to give up on their marriage. I hope you two can work it out.

Amber Crain-Grabenstein Due April 19 (boy); 16 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 17 posts
29th Dec '12

Id like to get into marriage councling and individual councling. We were in marriage counciling b4 he was discharged from the army, and it was working great for us. But since we got back to our home state, hes starting to make me feel like hes giving up on me and himself. And its worrying me.

ERMAGHERD BEEDS! 17 kids; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 4099 posts
29th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Amber Crain-Grabenstein:</b>" Yes he was deployed 2 times across seas. And he does have PTSD. He takes sleeping medication to help ... [snip!] ... id go with him for support (as ive always done.for.him) but its like hes scared to talk to anyone about his trama including me."</blockquote>




That all sounds very normal for someone suffering from PTSD. I agree with the other poster suggesting you both get support from a counselor or psychiatrist! And I know there's a great group of military wives on here who could probably provide great support and advice

Amber Crain-Grabenstein Due April 19 (boy); 16 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 17 posts
29th Dec '12

We have a army base near our house, idk if i could go there and try to find some.help for.him from ppl who have been there and are still there trying to work threw it. It doesnt hurt to try

Amber Crain-Grabenstein Due April 19 (boy); 16 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 17 posts
29th Dec '12

Im just really hoping this is just a fling hes going threw. I really need him and i miss him like crazy.

lolajessup Due July 25 (girl); 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44057 posts
29th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Amber Crain-Grabenstein:</b>" Id like to get into marriage councling and individual councling. We were in marriage counciling b4 he ... [snip!] ... since we got back to our home state, hes starting to make me feel like hes giving up on me and himself. And its worrying me."</blockquote>



He obviously needs back In therapy. That's no healthy for him or your relationship. When he comes home you two need to talk and figure out a plan. Because this is not normal behavior. And it's not healthy for your marriage.

Amber Crain-Grabenstein Due April 19 (boy); 16 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 17 posts
29th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Amber Crain-Grabenstein:</b>" Id like to get into marriage councling ... [snip!] ... home you two need to talk and figure out a plan. Because this is not normal behavior. And it's not healthy for your marriage."</blockquote>



Its not healthy for our unborn son either. :( and i know its reflecting on him.

Jennifer Bolen Due April 16 (boy); Oregon 189 posts
30th Dec '12

I was married to a soldier and when he came back from his 2nd deployment I tried to tred lightly. They go from being isolated to back home where everything seems different. We're no longer married but we didn't have children and because you are having a baby my suggestion is to just apologise and plan some fun family things, include his favorite people, and they and let him know how happy you are to have him home. My ex was always pissed off so I try to have bbq's and include people that he wouldn't be so quick to drink so much around. Also have friends stay the night if you can this way if anything gets to be too much you have someone there fo r you. I wish you good luck and hope things work out. And my and my ex didn't split cause of deployments or army related things we could handle that stuff, he was just wasn't ready to settle down.

Amber Crain-Grabenstein Due April 19 (boy); 16 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 17 posts
30th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jennifer Bolen:</b>" I was married to a soldier and when he came back from his 2nd deployment I tried to tred lightly. They ... [snip!] ... didn't split cause of deployments or army related things we could handle that stuff, he was just wasn't ready to settle down."</blockquote>




See ive tried to have cook outs with him and invite his friends. But everytime he'll call them all and tell them that its cancled. And his frkends are the ones he started drinking heavally with since he was fresh oit of high school. I just really dk what to do anymore. Last night he was demanding we get a divorce. And if i must put it out there, hes cheated in the past but not that i know of with me. So im just thinking of everything possible and i try not jumping to conclutions but he hasnt been at all or anywhere near the guy i first met or the man who left for his second deployment. ;(

lolajessup Due July 25 (girl); 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44057 posts
30th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Amber Crain-Grabenstein:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jennifer Bolen:</b>" I was married to a soldier and when he ... [snip!] ... to conclutions but he hasnt been at all or anywhere near the guy i first met or the man who left for his second deployment. ;("</blockquote>



Ask him why he thinks divorce is the answer? That's just a cop out. You two haven't been Married long and have a family on te way. You two can work it out. You just need to get to the bottom of what is going on with him and why he feels it's affecting your relationship. He chose to exchange vows with you, he shouldn't just throw that away for nothing.