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kind of long, need help from mothers! ANS && BAM xD 1 child; Lincoln, Nebraska 117 posts
29th Dec '12

I'm a first time mom, my daughter will be a month old on Jan. 5th, I'm living with my parents for the time being due to the fact my daughters father got locked up and i had to move back to my hometown in middle of my pregnancy and he left me with nothing, so i had to start over.



anyways I LOVE my parents help but I feel like i can't be a parent to my own child; everytime she cries, they jump up to see whats wrong, (they try to hold her, give her a bottle when she's already fed) when i have everything under complete control BUT at this early of an age, can she get use to being held all the time? when i set her down, she always cries....another thing is with her crib, I've noticed when i set her down in her crib, she will stay asleep for about 10 minutes then fusses, she's use to sleeping next to my mom at night, I know its bad and can lead to SIDs...what can i do to get my baby out of these habbits?



My daughter's father's mom talked me into giving her baby food bananas, i took her to the doctors on Thursday because she was having really loose poop and she wasn't holding any formula down, well they told me to give her pediatric electrolyte, the only change i've seen was that she kept most to all of her formula down but she's still pooping alot...which i'm not sure if thats normal for a baby. Today, I want to say she's pooped no more than 10 times today; it's been from a dime sized to filling the diaper. I'm not sure what to do! I know babys poop and pee alot!



another thing i need advice on....is my relationship with her father. I know it's my choice but i need opinions! We have been dating since September 2011, I'm from Nebraska, he's from New York, we kinda rushed into things fast, i moved up to New York Jan of this year, and i got pregnant with our daughter by March. After he got locked up in July; its been going down hill. I'm not sure when he's going to get out. Just recently, i've been told by his mom/sister and his other kids mom(he has 3 other kids besides ours) that he's been lying to me the whole time about serious issues. the other mother hated me, probably STILL does, and his mom is kinda crazy and has many issues so trusting them with all this is kinda iffy but I still confronted him about it and he denied everything till Christmas after i threatened to leave him and take him to court, he came clean to about 80% of what they were telling me, I love this kid with everything I have, and i want my daughter to grow up with her father cause i know what its like (my dad came around when i had my daughter)...I'm not sure if i should just end it completely or give him another shot.....help?

Kimber-lily Due September 27 (girl); 4 kids; Nova Scotia 28962 posts
29th Dec '12

Sleeping next to someone reduces SIDs. :)

Zeke's Mama Due September 26 (girl); 1 child; Pensacola, Florida 5703 posts
status 29th Dec '12

She's still really young, you can't spoil her. If she wants to be held, hold her. And don't give her anything but formula, that's all she needs (or breast milk if that's what you're giving her). And if you want to tell your parents to back off, do so (politely of course...)

ChubbyCheekers 2 kids; New York 3117 posts
29th Dec '12

1. No, you can not spoil a baby by holding them too much.
2. Co-sleeping, done safely, actually reduces the risk of SIDS.
3. A month old is WAY too early for solids.
4. He doesn't sound like the kind of dad you want for your daughter.

Jays*Mama 2 kids; Michigan 5658 posts
29th Dec '12

Well I wouldn't give your not even 1 month old any baby food...formula only.

Bri + 1.5 <3 Due October 20 (girl); 1 child; Florida 4344 posts
29th Dec '12

I didn't read all of it, I got distracted & lost my place. I was too lazy to start over, lol. Anyways, I did see where you asked if she would get too used to being held all the time at this age. My son is 2 weeks & 5 days old. His pedi assured me that up until a couple of months old, they can't be spoiled by being held. Not sure how true that is, BUT I trust him considering he is like 80 years old (no lie) & has been caring for children & babies for a VERY long time.

endless possibilities Due November 7; 6 kids; Tacoma, Washington 40890 posts
29th Dec '12

1. I have a baby born Dec 5th too. They want to be held, they need to be held. Holding them all the time now will lead to them wanting to be held LESS later on. Babies in other cultures don't set a foot on the ground until after 6 months, they are constantly held.



2. Co-sleeping safely actually reduces SIDS.
http://www.askdrsears.com/news/latest-news/dr-sears-addresses-recent-co-sleeping-concerns



3. Grandparents want to help out, they (should) love their grandbabies and they know how precious this time is and don't want to miss it. You just have to stay calm, set firm boundaries about what you want, and also, appreciate the help because it is HARD to do by yourself. ( I have no help with my baby, but I do have help with my older kids)

ANS && BAM xD 1 child; Lincoln, Nebraska 117 posts
29th Dec '12

she said she did it with her kids, but that was the ONLY time I gave it to her, I just don't want her to get use to be held or sleeping in the same bed with someone...so i wasn't sure if she was to young to realize...

MommyToWesley 1 child; Delaware 3847 posts
29th Dec '12

Your daughter is still a newborn. She ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT be spoiled.



As long as your mom can safely co-sleep, the risk of SIDS is actually reduced; but why is she sleeping with your mom and not with you?



Do not give your baby solids until at least 6 months. Before then, especially at 1 month can (and will, at this age) upset baby's tummy.



I would ditch the dad. I don't know what hes in jail for, but I personally wouldn't be with someone who is locked up for anything remotely serious. I also don't know what he's been lying to you about, but it doesn't sound good.
Your daughter's bio dad doesn't have to be the father in her life.

MommyToWesley 1 child; Delaware 3847 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting brittany.moga:" she said she did it with her kids, but that was the ONLY time I gave it to her, I just don't want her ... [snip!] ... want her to get use to be held or sleeping in the same bed with someone...so i wasn't sure if she was to young to realize..."


She should be used to being held when she wants it. Right now that is how she is comforted. It shows her that she is safe, and can trust you not to abandon her.

ANS && BAM xD 1 child; Lincoln, Nebraska 117 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting endless possibilities:" 1. I have a baby born Dec 5th too. They want to be held, they need to be held. Holding them all the time ... [snip!] ... appreciate the help because it is HARD to do by yourself. ( I have no help with my baby, but I do have help with my older kids)"


I never knew that! thank you and congrats! The doctors always said don't put them in the same bed as you cause they can die from it...so i was going off that

ANS && BAM xD 1 child; Lincoln, Nebraska 117 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting MommyToWesley:" Your daughter is still a newborn. She ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT be spoiled. As long as your mom can safely ... [snip!] ... he's been lying to you about, but it doesn't sound good. Your daughter's bio dad doesn't have to be the father in her life."


I ask my mom for help in middle of the night if she doesn't burp for me, my mom can usually get it out easily...I think its the touch! but i go make a bottle and they are usually passed out next to each other by the time i get back, and its usually on a daily basis, they do this!

ANS && BAM xD 1 child; Lincoln, Nebraska 117 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting MommyToWesley:" She should be used to being held when she wants it. Right now that is how she is comforted. It shows her that she is safe, and can trust you not to abandon her."


hopefully this comes out right; at what month, will she get use to being help? i know its a few months away probably but i want to avoid it as much as possible. also with her crib? within the next 3 to 4 months i'll be on my own, and don't want her sleeping with me till she's 5!

MeShell Stover Due January 19 (boy); Hannibal, Missouri 7 posts
29th Dec '12

no offense to anyone but theres no such thing as bein too young to be spoiled, holding them all the time can spoil them..

ChubbyCheekers 2 kids; New York 3117 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting MeShell Stover:" no offense to anyone but theres no such thing as bein too young to be spoiled, holding them all the time can spoil them.."


No. This is a myth and has been debunked by child development experts.



Spoiled implies that the child is using crying to manipulate you into doing what they want, and newborns are just not capable of this. Holding them when they cry creates a more secure child and one that actually cries LESS. Do some research.



ETA: http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=51753