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Cast Your Vote:

    • Blatant, outright -- Votes: 6
    • Obvious but gentle -- Votes: 25
    • Drop hints -- Votes: 2
    • Not at all -- Votes: 6
If you gained weight..... Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11980 posts
29th Dec '12

I don't know how, but I guess the amount of weight I have gained crept up on me. I don't own a scale because I get obsessive and will weigh myself 10-15 times a day and with a history of making myself puke to lose weight or just not eating for a couple days to lose weight it starts a roller coaster I would like to avoid. I knew I was gaining weight (my loose jeans stopped being loose and the ones that usually fit got tight) but I guess I didn't realize how much or was in denial. My DH approached me tonight about us starting to lose weight together (he has gained weight too) so we could get back into shape and feel hotter (since he knows I do not feel hot, sex has become only with the lights off and shirt on for me). I was not bothered but it made me think....if you gained a lot of weight (and it wasn't from pregnancy or medical issue, I can admit mine is bad eating habits and lack of exercise) how would you prefer your DH tell you?

κατι 1 child; Memphis, Tennessee 3143 posts
29th Dec '12

I wouldn't want him to say anything at all. It's my body,not his. I don't have this problem though I stay around 100lbs.

Mama of *3* TTC since Feb 2013; 3 kids; Wisconsin 15841 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting Mama Rice:" I don't know how, but I guess the amount of weight I have gained crept up on me. I don't own a scale ... [snip!] ... pregnancy or medical issue, I can admit mine is bad eating habits and lack of exercise) how would you prefer your DH tell you?"


Ive gained 100lbs in the past 3 1/2 years and he still calls me hot and means every minute of it. It bothers him when I wont undress in front of him, because he doesnt see what I see at all :? Id rather him call me fat haha

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42775 posts
29th Dec '12

Yeah, and if someone has to tell me I'm fat, that's the best way to go. Good on him for making it a goal-based couples challenge you guys can do together and for listing healthy, valid reasons for wanting you both to lose weight, instead of him just being like "b***h lose some weight cause I don't do heifers" :lol:



You're more likely to lose weight with a partner too, so good luck to both of you :D

Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11980 posts
29th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting κατι:</b>" I wouldn't want him to say anything at all. My body has nothing to do with him. I don't have this problem though I stay around 100lbs."</blockquote>



So if your DH gained a noticable amount of weight you wouldn't say anything, even nicely? I don't mean calling names or anything.

κατι 1 child; Memphis, Tennessee 3143 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting Mama Rice:" <blockquote><b>Quoting κατι:</b>" I wouldn't want him to say anything ... [snip!] ... if your DH gained a noticable amount of weight you wouldn't say anything, even nicely? I don't mean calling names or anything."

No i wouldn't. He gained alot when i was pregnant,because he was eating alot with me. He lost the weight pretty fast.

The Monk Due March 6; Nerima, Japan 723 posts
29th Dec '12

Heh. I need people to be blunt. Kicks my arse into reality again.

Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11980 posts
29th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting Viv, Ev & Gwen ♥:</b>" Yeah, and if someone has to tell me I'm fat, that's the best way to go. Good on him for making it a goal-based ... [snip!] ... weight cause I don't do heifers" :lol: You're more likely to lose weight with a partner too, so good luck to both of you :D"</blockquote>



I have no problems with the way he said it. We will not work out together since we do entirely different things (his is a lot of heavy weight lifting and cardio, mine is Zumba, yoga, and nightly walks with the dog- moving slowly towards nightly runs with the dog). I guess I didn't realize it.....I blame denial. LOL

Vivian [♥] 2 kids; Balls Deep, in, Georgia 13923 posts
29th Dec '12

I am BONEY when skinny. So when I gain weight people say I look great. I've never been actually fat though. Just at the top of my weight range for my height. No one ever said anything until I lost like only 5lbs, like it was so obvious I was chubby hahaha idk..
DH and I have both gained about 30 pounds since we met and got married.
We can't fit in the same clothe anymore :oops: (when I'm not pregnant)

Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11980 posts
29th Dec '12

<blockquote><b>Quoting L&B +1:</b>" Ive gained 100lbs in the past 3 1/2 years and he still calls me hot and means every minute of it. It ... [snip!] ... It bothers him when I wont undress in front of him, because he doesnt see what I see at all :? Id rather him call me fat haha"</blockquote>



He tells me I am beautiful, but he brought up that me not feeling good about myself (it happens when I gain weight, I tend to yo yo with my weight more than I should) that it really effects our entire relationship. Our sex life, my mood, I get depressed, etc.

aℓyssa Due October 21 (girl); 1 child; Manhattan, KS, United States 18872 posts
29th Dec '12

My husband and I both gained weight in 2011. I was pregnant (lost the baby at 16wks) and then we were both depressed, so we ate terribly and didn't care about working out. Come January 2012, we were both at our highest weights and though neither of us said anything to each other, we were both self conscious and not happy with ourselves.



I decided I was going to make a change for myself and he followed.



I've lost 40lb this past year and my husband has lost 35lb, but he has packed on a lot of muscle.




We shared pictures today of our before/now and we were both shocked that we got that out of control but we're in a much better place fitness wise now. :)



So, we didn't really encourage each other at first, but now we both are constantly motivating each other to eat healthier and work out!

Tasha & Nika Due December 22 (boy); 1 child; San Jose, CA, United States 16028 posts
29th Dec '12
Quoting Mama Rice:" I don't know how, but I guess the amount of weight I have gained crept up on me. I don't own a scale ... [snip!] ... pregnancy or medical issue, I can admit mine is bad eating habits and lack of exercise) how would you prefer your DH tell you?"


I would want my DH to tell me exactly the way yours told you

Mama of *3* TTC since Feb 2013; 3 kids; Wisconsin 15841 posts
30th Dec '12
Quoting Mama Rice:" <blockquote><b>Quoting L&B +1:</b>" Ive gained 100lbs in the past 3 1/2 years and ... [snip!] ... with my weight more than I should) that it really effects our entire relationship. Our sex life, my mood, I get depressed, etc."


Same here :( our sex life has suffered greatly since I gained all this weight. I dont feel good at all anymore and I dont even want to look in the mirror. Ive always been up and down with my weight, but this is the highest Ive been. Arg

Mami to a princess Due June 7; 1 child; Miami, Florida 293 posts
30th Dec '12

id want him to tell me but in a good way.... so that way i can know to get back on track yet not feel like he is gonna leave me

kitermom 2 kids; Beaverton, Oregon 740 posts
30th Dec '12

I'd want to have him suggest that we both work out for our health. My husband has a few extra pounds on him and always had. But my only concern has ever been the health factor. So now we hit the gym everyday together. So much nicer doing it together and being on the same path!