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Extremely upsetting... SamMarie! :) Due June 18 (girl); 32 kids; Plattsburgh, New York 1086 posts
1st Jan '13

When SO and I talk about the baby, He seems very excited and can't wait to see him or her. (Being this far along we still have not had an ultrasound)....But he's not the way i expectedhim to be, I saw two old friends at wal mart, They had their baby last year, and My friend Katie's husband came over to me and rubbed my belly and said congrats and what not. SO doesnt even rub my belly. Doesnt kiss it, talk to it or anything, Were any of your SO's not to excited at first, but were more afterward?



He also came home from work the other night and i mentioned it, I asked.. Why does it seem like you dont care, and arent as attached and happy as i am.... He works at bob run mind you and hes a breakman. Well he said, How do you think i feel, i go to work everyday, not knowing whether or not my childs heart is beating, then and there i broke down and couldnt stop crying, asking him why he would even say that., We had a scare and went to the ER and everything was fine, But he continues to say stupid shit like that, because he still has not got to see the lil one or hear the heart beat,..... I just dont know what to do or say :/

I♥RYLEIGH 49 kids; Windsor, Ontario 10437 posts
1st Jan '13

My SO always rubs my belly, but his best friends gf's belly button is starting to pop and he was so interested in it...... and I started crying because he didn't comment on my belly button lmao :oops:

Moi H* 2 kids; Columbia, SC, United States 2224 posts
1st Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting SamMarie! :):</b>" When SO and I talk about the baby, He seems very excited and can't wait to see him or her. (Being this ... [snip!] ... like that, because he still has not got to see the lil one or hear the heart beat,..... I just dont know what to do or say :/"</blockquote>




I would suggest him going to an appointment with you. That is what made my husband even more excited.

SamMarie! :) Due June 18 (girl); 32 kids; Plattsburgh, New York 1086 posts
1st Jan '13
Quoting shelbylynn [27 WEEKS!]:" My SO always rubs my belly, but his best friends gf's belly button is starting to pop and he was so interested in it...... and I started crying because he didn't comment on my belly button lmao :oops:"


I just wish he was more like that i guess.... Plus i get up at 5am make him breakfast and to make him a coffee and pack him a lunch, then he doesnt even call me on his lunch, he gets done at 5:30 and i dont see him to almost 8 pluss have a hot dinner ready for him..... I dont even get a thankyou..

The New Mrs. 2 kids; Lima, OH, United States 1301 posts
1st Jan '13

My BD didn't even seen me, but maybe 3 times when I was pregnant with our oldest. (We had broken up at the time and he had another gf) so he wasn't involved much besides text/call updated.
This time around, our second child (and his third) he is much more involved. He asks how I feel, rubs my belly, back, feet. etc.
He doesn't, however, go with me to my appointments or anything.
I honestly think it's a guy thing.
Pregnancy is the womens thing, worrying about the baby.. etc.
Guys don't realize it's real until the baby is actually here.

I♥RYLEIGH 49 kids; Windsor, Ontario 10437 posts
1st Jan '13
Quoting SamMarie! :):" I just wish he was more like that i guess.... Plus i get up at 5am make him breakfast and to make him ... [snip!] ... he gets done at 5:30 and i dont see him to almost 8 pluss have a hot dinner ready for him..... I dont even get a thankyou.."


When the baby is active (assuming you can feel him/her) make sure you call him over and let him feel & try to interact. Explain, "hey they can hear you talk! talk to the baby..." etc. SO talks to my belly all the time after I explained to him that she can hear him. Have him go to an appointment with you and involve him in the questions your OB or MW ask you. :)

doors33 1 child; Tonawanda, New York 478 posts
1st Jan '13

My SO was the same at the beginning before I started showing, but he has his reasons I suppose... with his ex (the mother of his other three children) her pregnancies weren't ever good experiences for him to say the least. I think he was even a little bit scared of me, maybe scared of the fact that I might end up pushing him away. Once I started showing though, he started talking to my belly, rubbing it, wanting to feel him kick. It's really sweet...



Just wait until your SO sees the first ultrasound. With mine, his face lit right up like I never saw it... and don't even talk about when we found out it was a boy, lol. That pride. ^_^



I think for us, it's already real from the first pregnancy test. For them, they actually need to see it. Like Courtney said, it's a guy thing.

Cordelia's Mom 33 kids; Bakersfield, California 3685 posts
1st Jan '13

Oh gosh :/
Get a Doppler!! I have one and I love it for times I feel nervous
My SO really doesn't seem to care either :/
I ask him why and he's just like idk
Maybe it's because it's in our body and it's like an out of sight out of mind thing for them. I am always asking him what he thinks of names or just general stuff about the baby and he will talk about it for a bit but then just not seem to want to talk about it. I wish he would initiate baby talk and stuff sometimes. I know how you feel :/

MiddayHavoc 1 child; Louisiana 740 posts
1st Jan '13

My DH was the same in the beginning. He wanted confirmation that I was really pregnant at our first Dr. Appointment. It's like it was too good to be true for him.
He was excited but it gets more real for him every time we go to an ultrasound and he actually sees the baby.I'm 27 weeks and he just now rubs my belly or puts his head to it every once in a while. For men I really don't think it hits them until the baby is actually born. They are not the one carrying it so I don't think it fully sinks in until they are holding their baby.

Cordelia's Mom 33 kids; Bakersfield, California 3685 posts
1st Jan '13
Quoting MiddayHavoc:" My DH was the same in the beginning. He wanted confirmation that I was really pregnant at our first Dr. ... [snip!] ... baby is actually born. They are not the one carrying it so I don't think it fully sinks in until they are holding their baby."


Yeah, this also. At my ultrasound I have never seen my SO smile so big! That will help a lot. He still doesn't act great about it but you will see that he cares :D

can111 1 child; Michigan 1005 posts
1st Jan '13

my husband doesn't really rub my belly, talk to the baby (I've tried getting him to on multiple occasions) or anything like that either. Actually he has told me that when he sees the baby move it's "creepy" LOL.
I know once the baby gets here he'll be more excited.

Maria + Cory = Alexis 17 kids; Middleport, Ohio 1075 posts
1st Jan '13

We were the opposite. Cory was excited from the moment the test came back positive. I was so scared something was going .to go wrong, I had just miscarried my first 6 months earlier. I couldn't allow myself to be happy, I was just scared of losing her. But as time went on, I volunteered to have very test run on her to make sure she would be healthy. Once the test results started coming back good I started to enjoy my pregnancy.



Like one of the other people suggested, try to get him to go to an ultrasound with you. I am sure that will help.

NikkiB12 Due April 21 (girl); Arkport, New York 3 posts
1st Jan '13

"I honestly think it's a guy thing.
Pregnancy is the womens thing, worrying about the baby.. etc.
Guys don't realize it's real until the baby is actually here."



--I totally disagree, my husband was excited from the day we got the blood test results back. He talks to/rubs my belly every day, reads her books every night at bedtime, he has missed only 1 appointment & that's because both of our mothers wanted to go. He never misses an appointment otherwise. He's been extremely involved and he's always looking out for me. He doesn't allow me to do to much in fear of over doing and hurting the baby. I would suggest to have him go with you to a Drs. appointment or have him start talking & rubbing the belly. If he's worried about the baby, getting the baby familiar to his touch and his voice and he/she will give him kicks and then he will know that baby is def. ok!

Maria + Cory = Alexis 17 kids; Middleport, Ohio 1075 posts
1st Jan '13
Quoting NikkiB12:" "I honestly think it's a guy thing. Pregnancy is the womens thing, worrying about the baby.. etc. Guys ... [snip!] ... the baby familiar to his touch and his voice and he/she will give him kicks and then he will know that baby is def. ok! "

You and I seem to be lucky when it comes to our partners being involved. Cory won't even let me do dish or laundry. I am not even allowed to carry bags up the stairs after we come home from shopping. Now he doesn't always go to my appointment, but they are usually first thing in the morning and he works until 4 am, so I understand.



Unfortunately, not all women are lucky. My two sisters got no support or consideration from their husbands. The never went to appointments, interacted with the baby, or cared about the level of pain my sisters were in. My one sister miscarried her second baby and I was the one at the doctor's with her when she found out. I was the one who had to take her to her D/C.



So I count my lucky stars to have Cory as my baby's father.

Summerfrost 51 kids; Massachusetts 6828 posts
1st Jan '13

After I had my first son at 23 weeks (which ended badly), it took my hubby a long time to act outwardly excited about my next pregnancy. By the end of the pregnancy, he was playing songs and stuff for my now 4 year old. I think it's actually pretty awesome that he admitted feelings like that. It was always so much of a guessing game with mine when we were going through all of that stuff. Pregnancies after a loss is hard for the guys too. I'd go easy on him.