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Cast Your Vote:

    • Forgive if told right away -- Votes: 10
    • Forgive if found out on own -- Votes: 1
    • Wont forgive. Cheating is unforgivable. -- Votes: 26
    • Other - explain -- Votes: 18
Cheating & Forgiveness D&D Monsters² Mom 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Dahlgren, VA, United States 4684 posts
1st Jan '13

DH and I are the kinds of people that do the crazy "what if" scenarios and discuss how we would react in certain situations.
So we started discussing what if cheating situations and I was wondering if YOU were cheated on but your SO told you right away, would you be more open to forgiving them versus them cheating and you finding out on your own way later on.

drunk faith1 1 child; Alabama 10081 posts
1st Jan '13

I would be more open to forgiving if I was told right about, but I wouldn't necessarily forgive either way.

Michelle Ann 2 kids; Veradale, Washington 418 posts
1st Jan '13

I think if my DH came right out and told me, I'd probably be able to forgive him in the end. It would hurt, needless to say, but I feel that I'd be able to get past it since he would have been honest and up-front.

Raωkeℓ 1 child; Costa Rica 8257 posts
1st Jan '13

I will never forgive a cheater. I don't care if he called me and let me listened to that shit, or he waited a year.



I'm out. I don't stand for that shit at all.

Mother of One plus One 2 kids; Ware Shoals, South Carolina 4418 posts
1st Jan '13

It <blockquote><b>Quoting ℳonster's ℳom:</b>" DH and I are the kinds of people that do the crazy "what if" scenarios and discuss how we would react ... [snip!] ... you right away, would you be more open to forgiving them versus them cheating and you finding out on your own way later on."</blockquote>




That's a tough one. I don't really think it would matter when I found out or how. It would hurt me either way just the same. I don't know if I could ever forgive SO for sleeping with another woman....but then again,I don't know if I could just walk away either kwim? We have a family.

Lois. 1 child; Pennsylvania 2499 posts
1st Jan '13

I wouldn't be able to forgive either way.
What's stopping them from doing it again, kwim?

C'sMom! 1 child; Minnesota 1263 posts
1st Jan '13

He told me both times.I only forgave and was willing to stay at the first time because I trusted him. I left after the second time because I knew that he would NEVER stop cheating. He is currently engaged and has already cheated on his fiancee. How do I know? He had me meet the woman on the side. I was pissed because I really like his fiancee. She has forgiven him and as much as I love having her in my daughter's life. I wish she wouldn't be with him and would find someone to appreciate her and treat her the way she should be treated.

user banned 2 kids; Fucking, Austria 36337 posts
1st Jan '13

I wouldn't forgive either situation. You cheat on me, it's f**king over.

The Dandelion Rapist 18 kids; New Mexico 6885 posts
1st Jan '13

I have a very unhealthy obsession with my husband.



If he were to walk out on me tomorrow and leave me high and dry for someone else, I would probably wait for him to come back.



So if he told me. I would be hurt, but all in all I would most likely forgive him.

Two Princesses 2 kids; San Pedro, CA, United States 7196 posts
1st Jan '13

I don't think I could forgive.
but even if I could, it would still be over because I wouldn't ever be able to trust him again.

user banned 2 kids; Fucking, Austria 36337 posts
1st Jan '13
Quoting Drippy Hairymuff:" I have a very unhealthy obsession with my husband. If he were to walk out on me tomorrow and leave ... [snip!] ... would probably wait for him to come back. So if he told me. I would be hurt, but all in all I would most likely forgive him. "

:/ that sucks.

Monsters² Mom 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Dahlgren, VA, United States 4684 posts
1st Jan '13
Quoting Mother of One plus One:" It <blockquote><b>Quoting ℳonster's ℳom:</b>" DH and I are the kinds of ... [snip!] ... SO for sleeping with another woman....but then again,I don't know if I could just walk away either kwim? We have a family."


That's what I told DH. I told him that I would be hurt and it would be hard for me to forgive him/trust him again. But if he was honest with me right up front I would be more open to keeping our family together instead of leaving. But I also made it very clear that if he cheated and lied about it, and when confronted continued to be secretive and lie I would be gone before he had a chance to say I'm sorry. My whole reasoning behind the second answer though is if my daughter grows up watching her mom be a push over she'll grow up the same and I wont stand for that.

Raωkeℓ 1 child; Costa Rica 8257 posts
1st Jan '13
Quoting .Sam.:" I wouldn't be able to forgive either way. What's stopping them from doing it again, kwim? "


I feel like they never change, honestly. I know a man that was married for 6 years when he started having an affair. He kept it quiet for awhile, he loved the woman, and then his wife found out. Ever since he begged for forgiveness, they have been working on their relationship and the marriage has been the best it ever has. However, she doesn't know that he's masturbating to another woman, like skyping and shit- he's been talking to her for months; gets dirty pictures, etc. However, his wife will never know because like he said "their marriage is better than ever."
I know all of this because he's one of my really good friends and has told me. I call him out every now and then, make him feel like shit... he takes it, and our friendship continues. He knows I'll speak my mind. It's just sad.

Monsters² Mom 2 kids; 3 angel babies; Dahlgren, VA, United States 4684 posts
1st Jan '13
Quoting Raωkeℓ:" I feel like they never change, honestly. I know a man that was married for 6 years when he started ... [snip!] ... now and then, make him feel like shit... he takes it, and our friendship continues. He knows I'll speak my mind. It's just sad."


I think it depends on the character of the person. Some people just can't change. I've seen serial cheaters become devoted spouses when they found the right person. I've also seen a devoted spouse turn into a serial cheater with broken promises to change their ways.

user banned 2 kids; Fucking, Austria 36337 posts
1st Jan '13

"We have a family" Sounds like an excuse to let them be dogs. I am no one's b***h. lol



I am my children's role model, and being with someone who disrespects me is not setting a good example.