Reply

Cast Your Vote:

    • Yes -- Votes: 14
    • No -- Votes: 64
justanothamotha Due January 20; 130 kids; Climax, Michigan 5120 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting wombie:" absolutely! I can't fathom making my infant wait to eat because my husband needs an orgasm :? He can ... [snip!] ... that, they need to re-evaluate why they have chosen to have children. wowza, I just went off on a mini tangent :lol:"

I have quite honestly never had this be an issue - in 2 kids, I've never had them interrupt & my kids weren't good sleepers until age 2ish...I guess we must have great timing.



And I would have to stop - once my baby is crying, it like invades my brain & there is nothing to me that I could enjoy once that happened.

Ryloonjimama Australia 18851 posts
3rd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting wombie:</b>" I would instantly lose interest in sex if my baby was crying. I think my husband would too. A crying ... [snip!] ... conducive to sexy time IMO.......to me, that's the difference between finishing sex and finishing the other things you listed."</blockquote>




:!:

Ryloonjimama Australia 18851 posts
3rd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jude the Super k******r:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting wombie:</b>" I'm the same. I'm not condemning people who ... [snip!] ... those things."</blockquote> What about an older child? Maybe 18 months or so? You still drop everything immediately?"</blockquote>




It doesn't matter how old my children are, I'll never be comfortable continuing sex if I know they've woken up.

wombie 4 kids; Zimbabwe 73281 posts
4th Jan '13
Quoting justanothamotha:" I have quite honestly never had this be an issue - in 2 kids, I've never had them interrupt & my ... [snip!] ... to stop - once my baby is crying, it like invades my brain & there is nothing to me that I could enjoy once that happened. "


I think it's only happened once or twice to us.....it's not like it was a regularly occurring thing, lol. But yeah, instant mood killer. For me, it's like an instinctual thing to want to go tend to my crying infant.....it's a very visceral reaction. I become physically uncomfortable if I don't go to a crying infant and console them promptly when they are crying.

Derp TTC since Jan 2014; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11449 posts
4th Jan '13
Quoting wombie:" that is exactly right! It is said over and over again in alot of the research that pertains to the psychological ... [snip!] ... and how it really does play a role in providing that security and creating the trust that is so vital to infant development."


Edit: I need to clarify that I'm talking about older children here. I definitely co-slept with my son and it was amazing but now he's going on 18 months and wants nothing to do with me in bed which is a HUGE relief. At this point the only reason I want to co-sleep with him still is because of what I want and not because of what's best for him. He's more than fine in his own room and actually seems to prefer it.




I co-slept with my parents for 10 years and all it got me was insecurity. I was terrified of being in the dark alone and incredibly needy. They did me a HUGE disservice by letting me stay in bed with them for years and years. There comes a point when co-sleeping becomes more about the parents wanting comfort than their children, at least that's my opinion. When you see a couple sleeping with their almost adult-sized children it just becomes weird no matter how you slice it.



With that being said, co-sleeping with a young child is wonderful as long as goals are set and expectations are had. I wish my parents had kicked me out of their bed by the time I was in elementary school. I can even remember how hard it was for me to sleep at friends' houses because I was so used to being with my parents and no one else. It was a huge handicap and that is spoken from firsthand experience as a person who stayed in their parent's bed for far too many years.



I realize everyone is different so there's no way you can say a child should stop sleeping with his or her parents at a certain age but I do know that it probably isn't a good idea to keep older children in bed. I totally understand co-sleeping with younger children though and I definitely miss sleeping with my son.

user banned 3 kids; Ontario 10942 posts
4th Jan '13
Quoting Raptor Jesus:" Edit: I need to clarify that I'm talking about older children here. I definitely co-slept with my son ... [snip!] ... huge handicap and that is spoken from firsthand experience as a person who stayed in their parent's bed for far too many years."


My childhood friend was just like you. Her parents would have to pick her up in the night every time we tried a sleepover.
When I slept there she slept in their room..



My now friend is going through the trials of her 7 yr old is embarrassed that ppl know she sleeps with her mom. Her mom sleeps in her bed, with her, her dad sleeps alone and has since she was born. lol



She is embarassed by it, but wont sleep alone at the sametime, and my friend hates it.

Derp TTC since Jan 2014; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11449 posts
4th Jan '13
Quoting crazy coupon lady:" My childhood friend was just like you. Her parents would have to pick her up in the night every time ... [snip!] ... alone and has since she was born. lol She is embarassed by it, but wont sleep alone at the sametime, and my friend hates it."

So sad =( I can't even begin to convey how many times I became embarrassed by the fact that I still slept with my parents. Even small things like sitting at lunch at talking about spend the night parties made me nervous. No child should have to feel like that.

wombie 4 kids; Zimbabwe 73281 posts
4th Jan '13
Quoting Raptor Jesus:" Edit: I need to clarify that I'm talking about older children here. I definitely co-slept with my son ... [snip!] ... children in bed. I totally understand co-sleeping with younger children though and I definitely miss sleeping with my son. "


I actually do agree with you. When it becomes a matter of meeting the needs of the parents and the needs of the child are no longer a factor, especially when it moves into actually being a detriment to the child, it should absolutely be stopped. All things can be done in excess, well meaning or not. I do think that probably most co-sleeping parents will end it at a reasonable time, but there are some who don't. I won't condemn those parents who don't since I'm sure there are plenty of things that I don't exactly do "right" as a parent :lol: I don't think you're condemning those people either....I don't want you to think I'm implying that :)



Anyway, there are still times when my 13 year old son will come in and sleep with me. He's not at all dependent on it though and usually sleeps in his room. Typically when he comes in, it's on a weekend or a night when he doesn't have school the next day and he'll sneak in there after I'm asleep to watch Family Guy since he doesn't have a TV in his room :x :lol:

Derp TTC since Jan 2014; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11449 posts
4th Jan '13
Quoting wombie:" I actually do agree with you. When it becomes a matter of meeting the needs of the parents and the ... [snip!] ... the next day and he'll sneak in there after I'm asleep to watch Family Guy since he doesn't have a TV in his room :x :lol:"

Nope, not condemning anyone. I went back and made the edits so my post seemed less bitchy, lol. I know some people here get incredibly defensive if someone happens to disagree with them because they view a difference in opinion as an attack for whatever reason. I didn't want anything like that to happen here.

wombie 4 kids; Zimbabwe 73281 posts
4th Jan '13
Quoting Raptor Jesus:" Nope, not condemning anyone. I went back and made the edits so my post seemed less bitchy, lol. I know ... [snip!] ... because they view a difference in opinion as an attack for whatever reason. I didn't want anything like that to happen here."


I didn't think you were bitchy at all. I know sometimes it's really hard to understand someone's tone over the internet so I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't trying to imply that I thought you were condemning other parents :)

Derp TTC since Jan 2014; 1 child; Camp Lejeune, NC, United States 11449 posts
4th Jan '13
Quoting wombie:" I didn't think you were bitchy at all. I know sometimes it's really hard to understand someone's tone ... [snip!] ... the internet so I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't trying to imply that I thought you were condemning other parents :)"

Basically you're a reasonable, mature adult, lol.



Unfortunately a lot of people here don't understand that a difference in opinion isn't the end of the world and certainly isn't a reason to launch into a 10 page diatribe about who's right and who's wrong, lol. Then again if BG wasn't full of these people it wouldn't be nearly as amusing.

wombie 4 kids; Zimbabwe 73281 posts
4th Jan '13
Quoting Raptor Jesus:" Basically you're a reasonable, mature adult, lol. Unfortunately a lot of people here don't understand ... [snip!] ... diatribe about who's right and who's wrong, lol. Then again if BG wasn't full of these people it wouldn't be nearly as amusing."


right :lol:



I have a love/hate relationship with that

Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
4th Jan '13
Quoting Jude the Super k******r:" Do you think it's wrong to co-sleep? If so, why? And on what level?"


That's one of the things I'm looking forward to. Co-sleeping and breast-feeding. <3

Lisa Holdridge Due April 2; 2 kids; Derby, United Kingdom 175 posts
4th Jan '13
Quoting The Master:" Yeah I find that weird ... and I remember in a similar thread to this one of the women talking about letting her husband do her from behind while nursing."


Some people have no morals!!!

Lisa Holdridge Due April 2; 2 kids; Derby, United Kingdom 175 posts
4th Jan '13
Quoting HopingforaMiracle:" Found a thread you all were talking about http://forum.baby-gaga.com/about2045360-2.html"


Woah!!