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Threesome Nigel Thornberry 1 child; New Hampshire 6415 posts
1st Jan '13

DH and I were hanging out with my parents the other night and he was talking about a celebrity crush and my mom kept saying it would never happen so he started joking about a threesome. My step dad said it's impossible to have a threesome because it will without a doubt ruin your marriage. I disagreed and said that though I'm sure it may ruin some there are plenty of people who could have a threesome and be okay. He proceeded to tell me that I'm young and naive and I just really don't know anything. So I turn to the ladies of BG, have you had a threesome and had it not ruin your relationship?

Jane.Doe. Fukushima, Japan 2805 posts
1st Jan '13

It ruined mine. And every female I know who has done it said it ruined their's, too. Usually the people that it works for are people who are swingers or poly-amorous where they don't have the traditional love with their partner that most people have but something entirely different.

Mrs. Post-tato Head 4 kids; 1 angel baby; 6812 posts
1st Jan '13

We've had several threesomes and swapped a couple times. It was okay at first, but one incident and it all went down hill... It's WAY too risky and I'd never, ever do it again. There is so much that can (and probably will) go wrong, it's just not worth. My DH and I worked through it, but it took A LOT of work and heartache... Not at all worth it.

Nicola =) 1 child; Huntsville, Alabama 2783 posts
1st Jan '13

Never had a threesome while in a relationship. My personal belief is that is is cheating. My fiance feels the same. We chose to be with only each other in all aspects.



But some people can make it work. If both people are okay with it then that's great. I do think, though, that it brings potential problems even if both people say they are okay with it. You may feel like it won't be a problem but later feel jealous or wonder if there are more feelings there.



Its not for me but whatever floats your boat.

The Dandelion Rapist 18 kids; New Mexico 6885 posts
1st Jan '13

Me personally, I have never had one.



But I do know a couple people who have, and for the relationships it did ruin, it was because the guy wanted more after. With the excuse that he couldn't enjoy it because he didn't know what he was doing the first time around.



In another relationship, it gave them reason to cheat. Some people think that if you get 'permission' to do something one time, then you can do it as often as you want.



For the relationships it didn't ruin, it was because neither party enjoyed it, and did it only to see what it was like.

jo-jo 2 kids; ..., SA, Australia 2305 posts
1st Jan '13

I have never had one and I don't want to. I would be one of those people thats marriage would be destroyed. I don't want to share my Dh .(sexually,physicaly, emotionally) with anyone at all..period
If Dh wanted to do it then he could pack his bags and find a new wife that would be willing to share him. I know it would drive me crazy jealous. I would rather be with out him than share him and be full of doubt and insecuritys.



(this is just my opinion, I am not saying it cant or wont work for others)

SniperWolfMandy 1 child; 1 angel baby; Carroll, IA, United States 322 posts
1st Jan '13

I've had a few threesomes with my husband and our relationship is great. I think it all depends on the persons sexual tastes. For some people it can cause problems, it just depends on the person.

Leash25 2 kids; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 1595 posts
1st Jan '13

it didnt ruin my relationship. we did it twice, and although we are not married we are still going strong in love with each other. I think if two people do it and there isnt trust in the relationship then it will ruin it. Speaking for my self it made our bond stronger, and we are not swingers! I completely trust him and vice versa!!! i guess its just not for everybody

Mrs. Post-tato Head 4 kids; 1 angel baby; 6812 posts
1st Jan '13
Quoting Nicola =):" Never had a threesome while in a relationship. My personal belief is that is is cheating. My fiance feels ... [snip!] ... be a problem but later feel jealous or wonder if there are more feelings there. Its not for me but whatever floats your boat."


Honestly, jealousy usually isn't the biggest problem. Everyone thinks that like people will say they're ok with it, then afterward they get jealous, but usually that's not the problem. It just complicates the relationship so much and so many other things come into play that probably weren't even thought about or discussed prior too, and then it just confusing and complicated.

Not tellin 3 kids; Montana 55983 posts
1st Jan '13

Every couple I know that has ever had one is now divorced.

Chick+6.5! Due October 18; 6 kids; 1 angel baby; Colorado 7766 posts
1st Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Post-tato Head

Nicola =) 1 child; Huntsville, Alabama 2783 posts
1st Jan '13
Quoting Mrs. Post-tato Head
Mrs. Post-tato Head 4 kids; 1 angel baby; 6812 posts
1st Jan '13
Quoting Chick+6!:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Post-tato Head
Love Wedge +2 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Waterloo, Ontario 44310 posts
1st Jan '13

I've never personally had one, but my best friend has with her boyfriend of 6 years, multiple times.



They didn't do it to cheat or because they were bored with their sexual relationship. They're both very adventurous and try new things on a regular basis. It's just something they both enjoy doing.



They are having problems but it's because of the guy's alcohol abuse, not the threesomes they have.

DinoKitty Minnesota 95 posts
1st Jan '13

It honestly all depends on your relationship. One thing that we believe is key to a good threesome is this..... It always has to be a stranger! If you know the 3rd party then there will be more room for jealousy long term. If you do not know the person and it is going to be a one night stand for the both of you then you only have the jealousy factor during the act and not after the fact when you see the other person continuously and you both have the 3rd party's # where you can call and/or text whenever you want. This is just the experience we have personally have