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severe stranger phobia, help?! Ole' No Name Due July 3; TTC since Oct 2013; 1 child; Singapore, Singapore 6253 posts
2nd Jan '13

My DD is 12 months old, we have had this problem for about 5-6 months now.
She will not let anyone she doesn't see regularly even talk to her..
Like my mother, sister, aunts, grandmother, ect.
Hell I can't even take her to the pedi without it being WWIII.
It's like as soon as a stranger even looks at her she has a complete meltdown.. It's awful like you would think they tried to kill her.



Why does she do this?
When Will she stop?



It's really embarrassing for me sometimes, like if an old lady says 'hi' just passing by at Walmart she instantly has a freak out..



It this even normal? :?

user banned 2 kids; Minnesota 7318 posts
2nd Jan '13
Quoting Ole' No Name:" My DD is 12 months old, we have had this problem for about 5-6 months now. She will not let anyone she ... [snip!] ... me sometimes, like if an old lady says 'hi' just passing by at Walmart she instantly has a freak out.. It this even normal? :?"


Both my kids have done that. My pedi always told me every single baby that age until about 2 screams the entire appointment.



And both my kids have buried their faces in my shoulder and gotten extremely uncomfortable when unfamiliar people looked/talked to them.



It is just a stage they grow out of.

Ole' No Name Due July 3; TTC since Oct 2013; 1 child; Singapore, Singapore 6253 posts
2nd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" Both my kids have done that. My pedi always told me every single baby that age until about 2 screams ... [snip!] ... shoulder and gotten extremely uncomfortable when unfamiliar people looked/talked to them. It is just a stage they grow out of."</blockquote>




Hopefully sooner rather than later :?
I guess it's partially my fault, I'm a SAHM and DD rarely leaves the house plus my family lives an hour away.
So she only sees myself and her Daddy on a regular basis..
I guess I should get her out more.

Liz McArthur 2 kids; Tacoma, Washington 718 posts
2nd Jan '13

My daughter is kinda the same way. She wouldn't have a meltdown if they said hi though, she'd just give them dirty looks. But if they came towards her, too close or touched her she would lose it. I dread her pedi visits cuz it's just awful. She acts like they are going to hurt her. She will be 2 next month and it has settled down in the last month or 2. But men, especially older men can't even look at her. She will lose it. My grandpa can't even look at her. She's always been like that since day one with men but it's just something that she does or fears our whatever. I just try to help her s much as I can. Don't take get to Santa etc and make sure she knows her dad and I are there for her and wouldn't let her be hurt. I don't really know what else to do but hope she grows out of it a little. It's probably a good thing they won't run to strangers though. Better than the other side of things I guess cuz my niece would try to go hug random people and that was scary.

user banned 2 kids; Minnesota 7318 posts
2nd Jan '13
Quoting Ole' No Name:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" Both my kids have done that. My pedi always ... [snip!] ... my family lives an hour away. So she only sees myself and her Daddy on a regular basis.. I guess I should get her out more."


I drag my kids all around town every single day and they still have done that, lol. This will pass. It isn't your fault, I promise. It is nature's fault or something.

Ole' No Name Due July 3; TTC since Oct 2013; 1 child; Singapore, Singapore 6253 posts
2nd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" I drag my kids all around town every single day and they still have done that, lol. This will pass. It isn't your fault, I promise. It is nature's fault or something."</blockquote>




Everyone blames me for it.
They all say 'you need to take her places' 'she hates everybody' blah blah blah.



She gets over it quickly though.
If she's sees someone like my mother she Will throw a fit.and eventually after she observes her for a while she will let her hold her and even come up to her without being prompted.
It's just the initial fear, it's much worse with men.

user banned 2 kids; Minnesota 7318 posts
2nd Jan '13
Quoting Ole' No Name:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" I drag my kids all around town every single ... [snip!] ... she will let her hold her and even come up to her without being prompted. It's just the initial fear, it's much worse with men."


Isnt it amazing his everyone knows your baby better than you do? Google stranger anxiety in infants and you will see lots of evidence that it is natural :). Don't listen to people, it will just give you a headache.

Sarah2705 1 child; Los Angeles, California 735 posts
2nd Jan '13

Please don't let anyone put your parenting skills down. Dd,m19 months, has awful stranger anxiety. It's JUST started to get better. So many people (family mostly) have said its our fault, but honestly as time goes I see that dd is a very sensitive child, and some just need extra time to warm upto people. Give your lo time and you'll see things will get better. I thought they never would, and it's still hard but compared to a few months ago it's much better. Bestof luck.