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Cast Your Vote:

    • Yes -- Votes: 0
    • No -- Votes: 12
    • Depends on the circumstances -- Votes: 41
The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59762 posts
status 2nd Jan '13
Quoting Jude the Super k******r:" <blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" In this case... I would go more for, "We ... [snip!] ... and not follow through."</blockquote> I have tried.that and nothing has.worked. I cannot deal with it anymore"


Then I wouldn't bother with an ultimatum (personally). If you've already done everything in YOUR power to tell him how you feel, and encourage him... the only thing you can do is change YOUR situation, and get yourself to a safe and healthy place. You can't force him to choose his health or his family. He's got to do that on his own.

Wiggity Wack 1 child; Connecticut 10780 posts
2nd Jan '13

If the issue is serious and you've repeatedly asked them to address the situation before without success, than an ultimatum may be in order.

Destinite 1 child; 2 angel babies; Paradise, FL, United States 31443 posts
2nd Jan '13

It depends, but if you give one, be prepared to follow through.

Ꭶwan♥Nemo 1 child; Kansas City, Missouri 7416 posts
2nd Jan '13

Usually when you get to the point of a ultimatum its a on going issue or something youve tried alternative ways to fix and nothing worked....so no. I dont think its wrong at all

FutureMommyof2 Due June 5; 1 child; Charlotte, North Carolina 1035 posts
2nd Jan '13

If you are prepared for them to pick the door then yes. That's the scary part about ultimatums

whitney ♥ ainsley 1 child; New Hampshire 16454 posts
2nd Jan '13
Quoting The Doctor:" In this case... I would go more for, "We need to be separated. If you want to search for help to deal ... [snip!] ... a chance of not following through with your ultimatum. The worse thing you can do is give an ultimatum and not follow through."


I agree with this completely. As someone who's had a few relationships with alcoholics ultimatums can get tricky.

Kaibutsu 1 child; Virginia 3525 posts
2nd Jan '13
Quoting FutureMommyof2:" If you are prepared for them to pick the door then yes. That's the scary part about ultimatums"


:!::!: You have to ask yourself if you could handle your husband leaving.

user banned California 36390 posts
2nd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kaibutsu:</b>" :!::!: You have to ask yourself if you could handle your husband leaving."</blockquote>




I can't handle all the.hurt that comes with.staying but he.refuses to leave. It would be me leaving

Dovahkiin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 16776 posts
2nd Jan '13

I gave mine one just last night. I don't think it's wrong. Sometimes that's all you can do.

TheNuge 1 child; Pennsylvania 23057 posts
2nd Jan '13

My cousin is dealing with the issue after about 25 years. She has allowed it for way too long.
She has told him to leave twice and both times he made slight attempts. Honestly, they are BOTH kidding themselves.
I wish she'd go to al-anon.



Have you tried that?

SR ♥ 1 child; V, AR, United States 7869 posts
2nd Jan '13
Quoting Jude the Super k******r:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:</b>" Depends on the circumstance. If there ... [snip!] ... short to worry about small shit."</blockquote> What if it's "Get help for your alcoholism or we're getting a divorce"?"


Definitely not wrong. I had to give my husband a similar decision to make. Either get help for your addiction or I'm out.

Ryloonjimama Australia 18851 posts
2nd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jude the Super k******r:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Tiger Lily ♥:</b>" Depends on the circumstance. If there ... [snip!] ... short to worry about small shit."</blockquote> What if it's "Get help for your alcoholism or we're getting a divorce"?"</blockquote>




Not wrong.