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Cast Your Vote:

    • Yes -- Votes: 41
    • No -- Votes: 9
Would this bother you? user banned
2nd Jan '13

Would it bother you if MIL gave money to your SO behind your back, and said "don't tell (insert your name)."



I'm kind of taking insult to it, like she thinks I'm going to steal his money. Idc if she does it behind my back, I wouldn't assume that was the malicious part... I'm pissed she asked him to keep it a secret. Who is she to put him in that position? We're in a committed relationship, and money should not be a secret.



PLUS I mentioned a week ago that SOs computer was broken and she said she purposely only gave him giftcards for Christmas (as opposed to cash) so it didn't go towards it. Then goes behind my back and gives him cash for it. He also mentioned that she said it was for gas OR his computer. I just spent nearly $200 in gas of my own money to fund out Christmas trip... is there a reason he thinks his computer is more important? He didn't even get nearly enough to fix it lol. I would never force him to give me his money, but come on... Our trip was f**king expensive and I paid for it all because all his money went to bills.



So, would it bother you if he received money on the intention it was a secret from you? Why or why not?

Capt Plzen, Pl, Czech Republic 9110 posts
2nd Jan '13

Yerp. Cause I'm married and have kids and like you said money is not a secret.




Id let him have it though, and not pout about that part.. but yeah secret money from my mil would tick me off.

Mikeyz momma Due September 9; TTC since Dec 2012; 1 child; 3 angel babies; Albuquerque, New Mexico 567 posts
2nd Jan '13

Im sorry hun I know how you feel I have a b***h for a MIL too.

user banned California 36390 posts
2nd Jan '13

Nope. But I dont ever tell DH when I have money.because he takes it.

user banned 1 child; Germany 12377 posts
2nd Jan '13
Quoting Jude the Super k******r:" Nope. But I dont ever tell DH when I have money.because he takes it."

Well, that's a little different... I'm talking about a committed open relationship lol, I don't think money should be a secret!

user banned California 36390 posts
2nd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rd.:</b>" Well, that's a little different... I'm talking about a committed open relationship lol, I don't think money should be a secret!"</blockquote>

user banned California 36390 posts
2nd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rd.:</b>" Well, that's a little different... I'm talking about a committed open relationship lol, I don't think money should be a secret!"</blockquote>




Even.if he didn't take it I wouldnt tell him. He doesn't need to know when I get money from my parents and I dont need to know when he gets money from his

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15210 posts
2nd Jan '13

You two are supposed to be a team and I would assume, share everything. If you share money anyways, why should they have money that doesn't support the two of you? I would be curious what has given off the vibe to his mother that you two keep things from one another.

user banned 1 child; Germany 12377 posts
2nd Jan '13
Quoting Jude the Super k******r:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Rd.:</b>" Well, that's a little different... I'm talking about ... [snip!] ... wouldnt tell him. He doesn't need to know when I get money from my parents and I dont need to know when he gets money from his"

Which is valid. But how would you feel if your MIL told him not to tell you about it? That would not bother you?

user banned California 36390 posts
2nd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rd.:</b>" Which is valid. But how would you feel if your MIL told him not to tell you about it? That would not bother you?"</blockquote>




No because it was for him. I dont need tok know

Soon 2B Mom of 2 2 kids; North Highlands, California 3785 posts
2nd Jan '13

Getting the money is no big deal, but any type of secrets, money included, are not ok to me. The fact that she didnt want you to know would make me mad also.

user banned 1 child; Germany 12377 posts
2nd Jan '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" You two are supposed to be a team and I would assume, share everything. If you share money anyways, why ... [snip!] ... the two of you? I would be curious what has given off the vibe to his mother that you two keep things from one another. "

I know right? It makes no sense.



We moved in together officially 6 months ago. MIL got her credit card bill in the mail and SO had racked up $2000 in debt, mostly on fast food and his computer. He also has invested money he can't access yet. So MIL tells me that it would be in my best interest to get rid of all his credit cards and take control of our assets and she would reinvest the money when it comes out.



So I did.



All of his money goes into my account and I divvy it out. He's laid off now but when he wasn't I left him is overtime money and took the rest for bills. He never once complained about that, and it was MIL's idea - I also cut up his credit cards. SO also let me quit my job, so it's not like I was pocketing cash and using all his.



So then to turn around and give him money, and tell him not to tell me? I don't understand.

user banned 1 child; Germany 12377 posts
2nd Jan '13
Quoting Jude the Super k******r:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Rd.:</b>" Which is valid. But how would you feel if your MIL ... [snip!] ... not to tell you about it? That would not bother you?"</blockquote> No because it was for him. I dont need tok know"

I know that you don't need to know. But I'm asking how you would feel if your MIL specifically said you can't know about it?

Rachie.luv♡ 2 kids; El Paso, Texas 14533 posts
2nd Jan '13

obv he told you right? or how did you find out?



I mean....I dont know..if he got money from his mom and didnt tell me I don't know, Id just be whatever. BUT I don't work, he does. So all the money he makes pays our bills and such. But he wouldnt keep it from me. Hes not that kind of person nor is his mom.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15210 posts
2nd Jan '13
Quoting Rd.:" I know right? It makes no sense. We moved in together officially 6 months ago. MIL got her credit card ... [snip!] ... pocketing cash and using all his. So then to turn around and give him money, and tell him not to tell me? I don't understand."


I'm more worried about why she thinks it's normal that you two keep things from one another. What has he told her to get that idea?



I also think it's weird that she encouraged you to essentially raise him financially instead of teaching him how to be financially responsible.