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snglemama 4 kids; Georgia 11958 posts
3rd Jan '13

what medications? have you talked wtih a lactation consultant or just a doctor?

Leigh Reep 1 child; Illinois 13 posts
3rd Jan '13

I do like the idea of him handing her to me after she's weighed and so on. Never thought of that one(: Also the idea of him feeding and then me burping her with her on my chest. We'd both win(: I'll definitely mention both of those to him :D

Boobo&bugs Due September 24; 1 child; Simpsonville, South Carolina 5609 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Leigh Reep:" It's not that I don't respect him wanting that bond. I totally get that and it makes me happier than ... [snip!] ... formula feed because medications that I take are distributive through breast milk. It broke my heart when I found that out ):"


If that is his opinion on how to break down baby duty then I'd be holding her and feeding her. He could hold her when I was done. If you're going to do all the work you take that first moment. I hope he changes his mind on all of that. I would have slapped Dh if that was what he thought was going to happen.

susanesque 2 kids; Georgia 8400 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting kate & tilly:" If that is his opinion on how to break down baby duty then I'd be holding her and feeding her. He could ... [snip!] ... moment. I hope he changes his mind on all of that. I would have slapped Dh if that was what he thought was going to happen."


this :!:

Leigh Reep 1 child; Illinois 13 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting snglemama:" what medications? have you talked wtih a lactation consultant or just a doctor?"


I take Citalopram (anxiety medication) due to pass out/not breathing episodes that happen. My doctor said I wasn't taking enough to harm my baby while pregnant with her, but had me talk to someone for lactation because I said I wanted to breastfeed. The consultant said that even though I only take it once a week, there would still be enough passing through me that my baby shouldn't have. We tried to ween me off of it so I could breastfeed, but the episodes came back in full-swing and they decided it was more beneficial to keep me on the medication. My heart was squished ):

Dr. Angelface 2 kids; California 8230 posts
3rd Jan '13

Mom....



especially for the baby's sake. even if u decide to let him feed her first. keep her on you skin to skin at least for the first half hour or so...

Leigh Reep 1 child; Illinois 13 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting kate & tilly:" If that is his opinion on how to break down baby duty then I'd be holding her and feeding her. He could ... [snip!] ... moment. I hope he changes his mind on all of that. I would have slapped Dh if that was what he thought was going to happen."


I hope he changes his mind on duties too. I'm gonna have enough issues in the beginning between recovering from a body changing event, hormones, and lack of sleep without having to act like a single mother while engaged to be married. I get bonding, but if it's only gonna be for the first time, then I don't see why I can't have that. He can have second feeding. He can have the rest of the feeding at the hospital and introducing her to the family and all the other perks of having a newborn and I'd be willing to change ALL the diapers of the first YEAR if I can just have that first experience.

The Bear and The Bird 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42577 posts
3rd Jan '13

The first skin to skin contact releases a shitload of chemicals in your brain that helps battle PPD and starts getting your body back to normal within seconds of delivery.



I get first dibs on her, sorry bud. But my nipple's going straight in her mouth too, though.

Leigh Reep 1 child; Illinois 13 posts
3rd Jan '13

LOL I told him about how he shouldn't have any perks of being a dad if he can't step up the rest of the time. He's even willing to work with the compromise of them laying her on my chest and then bringing her back to me after he's had a couple minutes holding her after they weigh her and stitch me up (if necessary). I EVEN GET HELP WITH THE DIAPERS!!! He was very understanding about ALL my concerns! It's great!



I think it just took a good hard dose of bad medicine to wake him up to the fact that I'm already stressing about Baby. I even got to use the b***h hormone! It was awesome hehe :D

Andi+Andy=Marley+1 2 kids; Fredericksburg, Virginia 4564 posts
3rd Jan '13

Everyone is different. Work on a compromise. For me, I will probably haved DH hold or son first. He was deployed for the birth of our daughterso he didn't get the bonding time. Though he won't be able to feed him since I will be breastfeeding. Plus I get to bond with the baby for 9 months so IMO I think is only fair that DH gets to bond with him first when he enters the world.

Boobo&bugs Due September 24; 1 child; Simpsonville, South Carolina 5609 posts
3rd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Leigh Reep:</b>" LOL I told him about how he shouldn't have any perks of being a dad if he can't step up the rest of the ... [snip!] ... to wake him up to the fact that I'm already stressing about Baby. I even got to use the b***h hormone! It was awesome hehe :D "</blockquote>




Good! I would totally recommend that he cuts the cord with the baby on your chest. It helped dh a lot. I only held DD for like 2 minutes after she was first born because I didn't feel comfortable getting stitches while holding her. I'm happy he's coming around though. Also you're the one who is giving birth. After all that you deserve to hold her first no matter what he says.

Ꭶwan♥Nemo 1 child; Kansas City, Missouri 7416 posts
3rd Jan '13

Nope. Youre first. After all that work you just did? You get to reap the reward and the fruits of your labor...literally.

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 26141 posts
3rd Jan '13

Everyone held Lily before me. I had a C-section and then I couldnt regulate my temperature. I had numbing issues too. So it was about an hour before I actually got to hold her... at first I only kissed her and touched her face. But Lily and I bonded great despite everyone holding her first.



But in regular circumstances I think the Mom/Father should hold the baby first. One of the two. Most times they put the baby on the Moms belly and clean the baby there, so typically its the mom.

[Boats&Hoes] 2 kids; Youngstown, Ohio 62966 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Leigh Reep:" LOL I told him about how he shouldn't have any perks of being a dad if he can't step up the rest of the ... [snip!] ... to wake him up to the fact that I'm already stressing about Baby. I even got to use the b***h hormone! It was awesome hehe :D "


That's great you two could come to an agreement. Best of luck with everything!

justanothamotha Due January 20; 130 kids; Climax, Michigan 5120 posts
4th Jan '13
Quoting Leigh Reep:" I take Citalopram (anxiety medication) due to pass out/not breathing episodes that happen. My doctor ... [snip!] ... episodes came back in full-swing and they decided it was more beneficial to keep me on the medication. My heart was squished ):"

Well first off - it isn't absolute that you can't nurse on Celexa - they say baby should be monitored as there have been two cases where there has been poor feeding reported, etc. But can you not take Paxil? That is considered comparable in effect and it is compatible with nursing. When they tried "weaning you off" did they offer an alternative or just try you going to nothing at all?