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letting go/saying goodbye xyxy 2 kids; 4 angel babies; ldn, uk, United Kingdom 160 posts
3rd Jan '13

I never saved positive pregnancy tests from when i was pregnant with my children, because I have my children with me now and the keepsakes i keep for them are pictures they draw for me and stories they write and things like that.



I didn't hold on to the positive tests from the miscarriages either, i didn't feel the need to; i know it's a horrible thing to go through but i don;'t find it difficult to tell myself that they were not viable pregnancies anyway, they could have no more been potential children than all my eggs that never even got fertilized so making that connection makes me feel at peace about it and I didn't feel the need to hold on to anything.



However I'd kept the tests from my last two pregnancies which ended in late first trimester abortions. I hadnt' wanted to have either termination so I have grieved both times... I would have probably wanted to keep the remains tbh, and buried or cremated them myself, but I don't think that's available on the NHS and I was too embarrassed to ask tbh. I have held on to those tests as they were my only memories of those pregnancies, which were viable, which were potential children to me.



I feel like now it's the new year, i need to help myself move on. I didn't want to just throw them away in the bin, as I had done with tests from the other 4 pregnancies... so I decided to bury them. I just did it now in the back garden, dug a shallow "grave" and put the tests in there and covered them up with dirt and leaves!



Has anyone done anything like this? I've heard of people planting trees and such. Did it help?

♥ The Prodigy Due March 3 (boy); 33 kids; Perth, Australia 5617 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting pixie b:" I never saved positive pregnancy tests from when i was pregnant with my children, because I have my children ... [snip!] ... them up with dirt and leaves! Has anyone done anything like this? I've heard of people planting trees and such. Did it help?"

i still have my test from my son and the baby i miscarried at 11 weeks, im going to keep both. im getting a bracelet made in remberance of my miscarriage if you want the link to the lovely ladies facebook page where you can request one let me know (they are free too)

SavageDarling 3 kids; Webster, Massachusetts 10381 posts
3rd Jan '13

I have not been through what youre going through but I've been following your story and I think that if something feels like it might give you some peace, you should try it. If you want to plant a tree I think that's a great idea. How about a fruit tree (apple, peach, cherry, etc) so that it can eventually give you something back. It'll be like something beautiful and life giving came from your experience. And typically with those kind of trees you NEED two to make them flower and fruit so that would be perfectly symbolic for you. Good luck.

xyxy 2 kids; 4 angel babies; ldn, uk, United Kingdom 160 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting ♥ axel sean n me:" i still have my test from my son and the baby i miscarried at 11 weeks, im going to keep both. im getting ... [snip!] ... miscarriage if you want the link to the lovely ladies facebook page where you can request one let me know (they are free too)"


yes please that would be nice i'd like to take a look x

♥ The Prodigy Due March 3 (boy); 33 kids; Perth, Australia 5617 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting pixie b:" yes please that would be nice i'd like to take a look x"

no worries :)
shes actually on bg somewhere
https://www.facebook.com/EdensWings?fref=ts

INDIAN 1 child; California 2358 posts
3rd Jan '13

I have never kept my daughter test or the miscarriage I had before her, however.. I have two test sitting on top of my mirror for the abortion I had in early December... and I can't seem to move them, or throw them in a trash.. I don't want to rid of them, and yesterday I spent half the day dwelling on the thoughts of what if.

xyxy 2 kids; 4 angel babies; ldn, uk, United Kingdom 160 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting ♥ axel sean n me:" no worries :) shes actually on bg somewhere https://www.facebook.com/EdensWings?fref=ts"


thanks x

xyxy 2 kids; 4 angel babies; ldn, uk, United Kingdom 160 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting rachel marie♥:" I have never kept my daughter test or the miscarriage I had before her, however.. I have two test sitting ... [snip!] ... or throw them in a trash.. I don't want to rid of them, and yesterday I spent half the day dwelling on the thoughts of what if."


would you want to try burying them? i found it quite easy to do but i don;t think i could have ever thrown them in the trash x

xyxy 2 kids; 4 angel babies; ldn, uk, United Kingdom 160 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting ♥ axel sean n me:" no worries :) shes actually on bg somewhere https://www.facebook.com/EdensWings?fref=ts"


i've just taken a look at her page, what a beautiful thing, the bracelets sound beautiful and how nice to do them for free! she must have so many requests, i don't think i am that deserving of one of those, but i have sent the link to a friend who had to have an abortion at nearly 20 weeks because her baby had a severe anomaly :'(

HopingforaMiracle 1 child; USA 22530 posts
status 3rd Jan '13

I think whatever brings you peace in your grieving is what you should do. I've been loosely following your replies and such and I think it's a positive step in your grieving

Miss. Tiff Due November 20; 33 kids; Odessa, Missouri 2874 posts
3rd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥ axel sean n me:</b>" no worries :) shes actually on bg somewhere https://www.facebook.com/EdensWings?fref=ts"</blockquote>




This lady ^^ is amazing her bracelets for bereaved mothers are beautiful def check out her page! EDEN'S wings.

E'M Shikari Due March 10 (boy); 1 child; 1 angel baby; Preston, United Kingdom 1747 posts
3rd Jan '13

I kept a scan photo, but the baby's father stole it. But I still have pictures of the scan on my laptop and phone. I could never delete it. I think what you did was good x

INDIAN 1 child; California 2358 posts
3rd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting pixie b:</b>" would you want to try burying them? i found it quite easy to do but i don;t think i could have ever thrown them in the trash x"</blockquote>




I thought that was a really good thought when I read it here, closing and remembrance, I live In apt complex though and I don't plan to be here, and I don't want them dug up or tampered with. I think I'll figure something out, I'm just not ready yet. :(

♥ The Prodigy Due March 3 (boy); 33 kids; Perth, Australia 5617 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting pixie b:" i've just taken a look at her page, what a beautiful thing, the bracelets sound beautiful and how nice ... [snip!] ... but i have sent the link to a friend who had to have an abortion at nearly 20 weeks because her baby had a severe anomaly :'("

thats soo sad :( everyone who has lost a baby is deserving of one, i know so beautiful that she does it for free, i ordered one but still waiting for it, she must have sooo many orders!

thisunrest India 10364 posts
4th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting rachel marie♥:</b>" I have never kept my daughter test or the miscarriage I had before her, however.. I have two test sitting ... [snip!] ... or throw them in a trash.. I don't want to rid of them, and yesterday I spent half the day dwelling on the thoughts of what if."</blockquote>




Been there. After mine, I really regretted tossing the tests. Even though I don't regret the abortion, the "what if's" haunted me for a while.