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round3 3 kids; Ontario 214 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting diiamondchula:" to me i dont consider that cursing at the child. i really sounds like part of his language. i do that ... [snip!] ... that for them to entirly stop cursing in that manner. you cant make somebody change-even if its because you feel uncomfortable"

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Ellie. 34 kids; Arizona 25371 posts
3rd Jan '13

I swear around my girls. I also swear at my oldest. But she usually has it coming. lol

diiamondchula 18 kids; Toms River, New Jersey 754 posts
3rd Jan '13

have you tried talking and reasoning with him? For instance tell him how you feel and tell him the moment he feels like he is going to curse at them as you say, then to go outside and take a breather. or go into a different room

Capt Plzen, Pl, Czech Republic 9110 posts
3rd Jan '13

I must be bad, cause ive said go the f**k to sleep multiple times.



i do not say f**k you, or you little b***h, or anything like that, not even to their father, but we do use swears as adjectives and adverbs.

Ellie. 34 kids; Arizona 25371 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Mary.:" I must be bad, cause ive said go the f**k to sleep multiple times. i do not say f**k you, or you little ... [snip!] ... f**k you, or you little b***h, or anything like that, not even to their father, but we do use swears as adjectives and adverbs."


That's the thing... most swear words have become a normal part of vocabulary, as opposed to a degrading term. It's so commonplace to hear them in random every day conversation. Even on TV, radio, billboards, etc. I can hear the word ass or b***h at any time on tv/radio

Mrs.Dani Due July 3; 1 child; 3 angel babies; Oxnard, California 10272 posts
3rd Jan '13

I don't swear at mine but my SIL does to hers. My poor niece is traumatized, anytime her mom even starts to raise her voice (even if it's not to her) she starts crying and gets scared. Just yesterday SIL told her to shut the f**k up and that she wished she would go to her f**king dads so she didn't have to deal with her.

Capt Plzen, Pl, Czech Republic 9110 posts
3rd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs.Dani:</b>" I don't swear at mine but my SIL does to hers. My poor niece is traumatized, anytime her mom even starts ... [snip!] ... SIL told her to shut the f**k up and that she wished she would go to her f**king dads so she didn't have to deal with her. "</blockquote>



See to me I don't see the swears as the big issue there. Its probably the meaning of her words and the look on her face plus the anger in her voice that scared the child.

Mrs.Dani Due July 3; 1 child; 3 angel babies; Oxnard, California 10272 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Mary.:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs.Dani:</b>" I don't swear at mine but my SIL does to hers. ... [snip!] ... issue there. Its probably the meaning of her words and the look on her face plus the anger in her voice that scared the child."


I don't think the scaring is from just swearing. SIL gets in fights a lot. I guess the scaring part was unneeded.

Mom of Tristan/Rayah/Keat 3 kids; Alberta 2068 posts
3rd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting .Colleen.:</b>" Coming from a home that had parental fighting in front of children, I want to suggest you seriously ... [snip!] ... associated with them. I have never found any benefit to having children witness their parents arguing in this manner."</blockquote>




I won't rethink it as I too came from a home the the parents argued. They were never abusuve towards each other. Just simple marital spats. It isn't like and my husband argue all the time. If it about our relationship it is done in private cause they don't need to hear it. But if we are having a conversation and something comes out of it that can't be controlled.



This is who Iam and and things do happen.

Mom of Tristan/Rayah/Keat 3 kids; Alberta 2068 posts
3rd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs.Dani:</b>" I don't swear at mine but my SIL does to hers. My poor niece is traumatized, anytime her mom even starts ... [snip!] ... SIL told her to shut the f**k up and that she wished she would go to her f**king dads so she didn't have to deal with her. "</blockquote>




I would be traumatized to if my parents told me that. It isn't the swears that are bothering your niece it is the context and other words your sister is using. Maybe your niece would be better off at her Dad's if her mother treats her like that.

Sloth clusterfuck, LA, Sri Lanka 106829 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Mom of Tristan/Rayah +1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting .Colleen.:</b>" Coming from a home that had parental fighting ... [snip!] ... are having a conversation and something comes out of it that can't be controlled. This is who Iam and and things do happen."


Well I guess I can't say that I am surprised that you won't take well intended advice from someone who knows firsthand.

Ellie. 34 kids; Arizona 25371 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Mom of Tristan/Rayah +1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting .Colleen.:</b>" Coming from a home that had parental fighting ... [snip!] ... are having a conversation and something comes out of it that can't be controlled. This is who Iam and and things do happen."


Why not just take it to the other room when things get heated though?

Mom of Tristan/Rayah/Keat 3 kids; Alberta 2068 posts
3rd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Man. Bear. Pig.:</b>" Why not just take it to the other room when things get heated though?"</blockquote>



If you guys actually knew me you would know that I'm a pretty level headed person and wouldn't put my children in any danger. When the arguments are heated and dependent on the situation they are taken else where. But if we are having a conversation the feeling are stated and that is it.



I don't need to take advise from someone that doesn't know me and my upbringing. I'm not traumatized because my parents had some sort of marital spat. I don't call my kids names, I swear but don't use it in a way that will harm them. I don't believe our arguments that don't happen very often will hurt them. If it was everyday continually me and my husband probably would be getting a divorce as then there is something wrong with our relationship.



As well my children are very well rounded happy kids.

Mrs.Dani Due July 3; 1 child; 3 angel babies; Oxnard, California 10272 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Mom of Tristan/Rayah +1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs.Dani:</b>" I don't swear at mine but my SIL does to hers. ... [snip!] ... and other words your sister is using. Maybe your niece would be better off at her Dad's if her mother treats her like that."


Sometimes I don't know. SIL is a nutjob. Her dad tried getting more custody over her so she would be with him for 3 months then her mom 2 weeks. He wants to move her to another city so he can be with his girlfriend who is pregnant.

♥ Letters to Alice 1 child; Medford, Minnesota 3788 posts
3rd Jan '13

Op: His argument of "it's just words" may be true, but so are "Ugly" "Fat" "Stupid"... etc. They hurt.. and by using "f**king" or others in a manner of upset, it makes the child feel like they are disappointing mom and dad, or whoever.