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Best of both worlds ;-) 18 kids; California 422 posts
3rd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting My boys = My life:</b>" It's HIS daughter too. He does not need to be supervised when he is with her.. I would be ultra pissed ... [snip!] ... be ultra pissed at you too.. Everyone is a first time parent at one point.. Cut him some slack and let him be a parent.."</blockquote>




I understand that completely trust me i do. I have been cutting him alot of slack only if you knew. I do allow him to be a parent it's just certain things he do when im around him with our daughter that makes me worry.

username1 1 child; Chicopee, MA, United States 30921 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Best of both worlds ;-):" <blockquote><b>Quoting My boys = My life:</b>" It's HIS daughter too. He does not need ... [snip!] ... knew. I do allow him to be a parent it's just certain things he do when im around him with our daughter that makes me worry."


like? im sure youre not a perfect parent either, and youve had to learn a lot so let him do the same

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Best of both worlds ;-):" <blockquote><b>Quoting My boys = My life:</b>" It's HIS daughter too. He does not need ... [snip!] ... knew. I do allow him to be a parent it's just certain things he do when im around him with our daughter that makes me worry."


Key word "when I'M around"....trust me, when dads are alone with their babies, they do act more responsible. With Mommy around, she tends to do everything, which it seems like you do if you're not even willing to trust him alone with his daughter for one night.

iLL-Legal Unicorn Alien 3 kids; New York, TX, United States 37137 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Best of both worlds ;-):" <blockquote><b>Quoting My boys = My life:</b>" It's HIS daughter too. He does not need ... [snip!] ... knew. I do allow him to be a parent it's just certain things he do when im around him with our daughter that makes me worry."


things like what?
and how do you know he's not acting like that because you're around and you're being overbearing?



unless you say he does something extremely concerning and that will put the child's safety in danger, then I still don't see why you can't trust him.

Best of both worlds ;-) 18 kids; California 422 posts
3rd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting diiamondchula:</b>" to be honest with you i think that is highly offensive. i understand your concern for not letting him ... [snip!] ... prove himself to you. especially since you been with him for 3 years now, thats like a spack in his face.... just my viewpoint"</blockquote>



I hear you loud and clear my main thing i worry about is SIDS. When im with him i try to show him how to hold her and burp her i often have to remind him not to put her directly on his clothes because he smokes alot. I just have a few concerns and i really can't help it.

Best of both worlds ;-) 18 kids; California 422 posts
3rd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting PurpleBama582:</b>" Being concerned is one thing, but to just arbitrarily decide you're not going to leave HIS child with ... [snip!] ... willing to bet that you didn't have someone with you 24/7 when your kids were born. I don't blame him for being upset one bit. "</blockquote>




Actually your wrong when kidd were born i had help the first few days. Someone was there to tell me when i was doing something wrong.

S♡J=Malachi 1 child; 3 angel babies; Florida 3278 posts
3rd Jan '13

That is his baby also let him be a father. You were wrong.

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14181 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Best of both worlds ;-):" <blockquote><b>Quoting diiamondchula:</b>" to be honest with you i think that is highly ... [snip!] ... him not to put her directly on his clothes because he smokes alot. I just have a few concerns and i really can't help it."



SIDS is pretty much inevitable in some babies. There are things you can do to cut down the risk, but it's not as preventable as people think. I think you are probably being overbearing and nagging him too much. Cut it out and let him do things his way. Unless he's seriously neglectful or he has a horrible temper, there is no reason why a guy can't care for his own child.

diiamondchula 18 kids; Toms River, New Jersey 754 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Best of both worlds ;-):" <blockquote><b>Quoting diiamondchula:</b>" to be honest with you i think that is highly ... [snip!] ... him not to put her directly on his clothes because he smokes alot. I just have a few concerns and i really can't help it."


every mother has concerns. but the reality of the situation is he deserves a chance. if you never give it to him how can he prove he is a good father. when my husband is around me and the kids he doesnt do shit, but if im not and hes watching them by himself, you will be suprised how good he is with two kids...

start off small call him tell him your sorry and you would like to give him a shot at being a father by himself. start of with saying can you watch the baby i have to do a couple errands or whatever. (try to do this when he has nobody around to show him you really are trying) leave him alone with the baby for 2-4 hours. call every hour or so and check on the baby. slowly increase the time hes alone with the baby. that way it eases your mind and allows him to see you really are trying

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
3rd Jan '13

Every parent worries about SIDS....



Okay, My ex smoked like a chimney, and his mom smoked, too. They both held my youngest a lot, directly on their clothes. I'm not saying you can't dislike it, but you DO have to remember that it is HIS daughter, too, and you have to let him learn.

PurpleBama582 52 kids; Dothan, Alabama 3875 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Best of both worlds ;-):" <blockquote><b>Quoting PurpleBama582:</b>" Being concerned is one thing, but to just ... [snip!] ... your wrong when kidd were born i had help the first few days. Someone was there to tell me when i was doing something wrong."


"First few DAYS"....your daughter is now in the MONTHS age range. Cut him some slack, admit you were wrong, and apologize to him.

iLL-Legal Unicorn Alien 3 kids; New York, TX, United States 37137 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Best of both worlds ;-):" <blockquote><b>Quoting PurpleBama582:</b>" Being concerned is one thing, but to just ... [snip!] ... your wrong when kidd were born i had help the first few days. Someone was there to tell me when i was doing something wrong."


Someone was there with you 24/7?

Best of both worlds ;-) 18 kids; California 422 posts
3rd Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting iLL-Legal Alien:</b>" What you did crossed the line of a concerned parent. We all learn as we go. Being a parent is something that takes practice and repetition. Nobody knows everything from the get go."</blockquote>




You are right you learn as you go but i dont know how much patience he has when it comes to being alone with a 2 month old there has been times I've been with him and he couldn't get her to stop crying he took her straight to his mother. Now if hes there alone my thing was what would he do.

Andi+Andy=Marley+1 2 kids; Fredericksburg, Virginia 4564 posts
3rd Jan '13

Ugh I probably would have left you too. Unfortunately for him, it seems like you are using the baby to punish him.

GirlsHaveCOOTIES 3 kids; Minsk, Belarus 15331 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Best of both worlds ;-):" <blockquote><b>Quoting iLL-Legal Alien:</b>" What you did crossed the line of a concerned ... [snip!] ... he couldn't get her to stop crying he took her straight to his mother. Now if hes there alone my thing was what would he do."


He would have to deal with it wouldn't he.. You are full of what if's and you are pushing him away from you and his daughter. You are bringing this on yourself and I don't blame him one bit.