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gone The Monk Due March 6; Nerima, Japan 723 posts
3rd Jan '13

gone. baby. gone.

LumpySpacePrincess 2 kids; New Zealand 17060 posts
3rd Jan '13

Have you asked him why he doesn't want kids? That's pretty shitty to say throughout that he wants kids then he doesn't, but people do change their minds.

bloopbloop♥ 1 child; Illinois 13984 posts
3rd Jan '13

Oh gosh that would devastate me. Is there a reason he said he did go along with wanting kids? I think that would be a deal breaker for me. All my life I have always wanted to be a mommy. I'm sorry :( Hopefully he comes through though, it sounds like you guys have it together.

greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
3rd Jan '13

I'm so sorry :(
You should tell him that. That would 100% be a deal breaker for me. After I had my son DH told me he never wanted to have another kid. (Newborns are hard. You get zero sleep, depression, stress made us fight a lot etc.)
I told him it wouldn't be hard at all and I wouldn't hesitate to find someone else to have more kids with me, and I meant it.
Thankfully after a few months, our son gold older and easier and he changed his mind back to the original plan of 4-6 kids. I want a big family though and like I said I wouldn't hesitate to find someone else if he just switched shit up on me like that.

melindapple 1 child; Michigan 5425 posts
3rd Jan '13

Hopefully he just comes around, but I'd be lost. I mean being together long enough to decide to marry someone, and then finding out they don't have the same ideas about life as you. EEK that'd be so hard. Good luck though...

The Monk Due March 6; Nerima, Japan 723 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting melindapple:" Hopefully he just comes around, but I'd be lost. I mean being together long enough to decide to marry ... [snip!] ... someone, and then finding out they don't have the same ideas about life as you. EEK that'd be so hard. Good luck though..."


And really is just lately when I bring up having kids in the next few years. :( I think that is what is really getting to me. He used ask me when I would be ready. :(

greenmamabecky☮ TTC since Jul 2013; 18 kids; Enfield, Connecticut 20987 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Muggleish:" And really is just lately when I bring up having kids in the next few years. :( I think that is what is really getting to me. He used ask me when I would be ready. :( "


Have you told him that it's a deal breaker for you and asked him why he changed his mind?

*B & D Mommy* Due January 19; 2 kids; Illinois 16210 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Muggleish:" And really is just lately when I bring up having kids in the next few years. :( I think that is what is really getting to me. He used ask me when I would be ready. :( "


Maybe now that things are getting more realistic with getting your lives together and getting married and all that is starting to "scare" him?

The Monk Due March 6; Nerima, Japan 723 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Will☮Creedence:" Have you told him that it's a deal breaker for you and asked him why he changed his mind?"

I have told him many times and we have discuss it before getting engaged. I am trying to chalk to so much happening so fast. I'll be waiting a few months or so to see how he feels. A lot has happen in the past year.

The Monk Due March 6; Nerima, Japan 723 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting *B & D Mommy*:" Maybe now that things are getting more realistic with getting your lives together and getting married and all that is starting to "scare" him? "

Really that is what I am hoping it is. So much so fast. The past year as been a roller coaster ride for us. He and I are looking into counseling. I hope that helps/

*B & D Mommy* Due January 19; 2 kids; Illinois 16210 posts
3rd Jan '13
Quoting Muggleish:" Really that is what I am hoping it is. So much so fast. The past year as been a roller coaster ride for us. He and I are looking into counseling. I hope that helps/"


Yeah maybe that is what it is..I hope for you that is all that is going on! And I hope counseling works out for you two. Definitely get things figured out before getting married.