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MariyamB Due August 22 (girl); 2 kids; Bangor, Maine 168 posts
5th Jan '13

Everytime i talk to him about it he calls me unthankful and i feel bad about myself. Honestly id just like to be able to keep some spare cash to take my son out if i wanted, or maybe go out to eat once in a while., or buy my son something at the store



Im also pregnant and freaking out right now because i havent applied for insurance because its winter and i have no source of transportation to get there or enough bus money... I've told him about it since I found out i was pregnant.



it wasnt like this before because i used to live closer to my parents and they'd give me access to their car.

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
5th Jan '13
Quoting MariyamBezhan:" Everytime i talk to him about it he calls me unthankful and i feel bad about myself. Honestly id just ... [snip!] ... i was pregnant. it wasnt like this before because i used to live closer to my parents and they'd give me access to their car."

Seriously honey he is controlling you this is not normal in any shape way or form. I would bet money he is abusive or will be in the future. Stand up for yourself and your children and leave him.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
5th Jan '13
Quoting MariyamBezhan:" Everytime i talk to him about it he calls me unthankful and i feel bad about myself. Honestly id just ... [snip!] ... i was pregnant. it wasnt like this before because i used to live closer to my parents and they'd give me access to their car."


You're MARRIED, you shouldn't have to be asking for your parent's car....and you shouldn't have to ask your husband for bus money.



Also, if he's working full time, why are you having to apply for government insurance? Why isn't he providing it?



He should emotionally abusive through being controlling and when you say anything, he puts you down so that you start to believe you're ungrateful, when you're trying to be a mother.



You need to go out and get a job and start earning your own money, and just bank it. You need to have your own source of income because you cannot rely on this fool.



And honestly, if it doesn't change, get out. That's no way to live.

Captain Obvious 2 kids; Havana, Cuba 25634 posts
5th Jan '13
Quoting MariyamBezhan:" Everytime i talk to him about it he calls me unthankful and i feel bad about myself. Honestly id just ... [snip!] ... i was pregnant. it wasnt like this before because i used to live closer to my parents and they'd give me access to their car."


Fuck all of that shit.

O.G.'s Mommy 2 kids; Mesa, Arizona 1152 posts
5th Jan '13

Since you're married, can't you get the bank to issue you a card linked the account? Maybe your mom could help you get down there. Like I saod, I'm not married... I have no idea of that's even possible, but if so, I'd do it ASAP. As for insurance, call to set it up and get billed by mail. He can't make you go without prenatal care because he's a selfish jerk.

*~AngelEyes~* 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Memphis, Tennessee 10545 posts
5th Jan '13
Quoting MariyamBezhan:" Everytime i talk to him about it he calls me unthankful and i feel bad about myself. Honestly id just ... [snip!] ... i was pregnant. it wasnt like this before because i used to live closer to my parents and they'd give me access to their car."

He has NO RIGHT to be doing that. What is up with him... seriously... sweetie, if I were you, I'd send him packing. Your son don't need to see him treating you like that, because NO MAN has ANY RIGHT to treat a woman like that. idc WHAT his reasoning is. He can call you ungreatful all he wants. next time tell him "Well, yes I am because I'm treated like a child." Because that's what he's doing... I hate to say it, but damn... my husband is lucky he's not THAT bad. Now that I'm pregnant, he don't leave me the car very often... but he has NEVER told me no on taking the car if it's something I need to do... and definitely has never told me no when it comes to our son. There's no reason for him to be acting like that. Sounds like someone needs to be talked to about how relationships work... I'm so sorry you have to deal with this crap, sweetie...

Mami to a princess Due June 7; 1 child; Miami, Florida 293 posts
5th Jan '13

not normal at all :shock:

Mami to a princess Due June 7; 1 child; Miami, Florida 293 posts
5th Jan '13

not normal at all :shock: I cant stand not having money..

Word Japan 244 posts
5th Jan '13

No definitely not, I would not tolerate that shit. Committed relationships and marriages are meant to be equal...for the most part. He is completely controlling your life and that is not right at all. I'm sorry you're in this situation but you have the choice to change it. You don't HAVE to do what he says...how long has this been going on?

Word Japan 244 posts
5th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting MariyamBezhan:</b>" Everytime i talk to him about it he calls me unthankful and i feel bad about myself. Honestly id just ... [snip!] ... i was pregnant. it wasnt like this before because i used to live closer to my parents and they'd give me access to their car."</blockquote>




He sounds like a good manipulator and I'm sorry to say it but from my experience, it doesn't sound like he will/wants to change. I would do everything possible to get on my own feet and get away from him, even if it takes time. Not only will it keep tearing you down but it will eventually effect your children. Idk how old they are but I don't think you want them (boy or girl) thinking this is how to live, how to treat people and how to be treated. My heart goes out to you but you can get you and your children out of this so you guys can have a better life. *hugs*

MariyamB Due August 22 (girl); 2 kids; Bangor, Maine 168 posts
5th Jan '13

I want to be able to earn my own money with out him having an issue with it. I can't live like this or continue like this if he will not allow me to work. I feel bad having to beg for money when i need stuff for our son. It doesn't feel right and it feels as if hes not even my husband the way he acts sometimes

Word Japan 244 posts
5th Jan '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting MariyamBezhan:</b>" I want to be able to earn my own money with out him having an issue with it. I can't live like this or ... [snip!] ... money when i need stuff for our son. It doesn't feel right and it feels as if hes not even my husband the way he acts sometimes"</blockquote>




How long have you been with him and did it change after you guys got married? And be careful incase he watches everything you do, I'm not sure if he's like that but If you need to there's a BG secrets account you can use so it's not traced back to you.

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
5th Jan '13
Quoting MariyamBezhan:" I want to be able to earn my own money with out him having an issue with it. I can't live like this or ... [snip!] ... money when i need stuff for our son. It doesn't feel right and it feels as if hes not even my husband the way he acts sometimes"

You are jumping through more hoops than most kids have to with their parents. It is not a marriage. Marriage is a partnership and about being a team.

Word Japan 244 posts
5th Jan '13

And feel free to PM if you want, I've been through things similar to what you're going through.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
6th Jan '13
Quoting MariyamBezhan:" I want to be able to earn my own money with out him having an issue with it. I can't live like this or ... [snip!] ... money when i need stuff for our son. It doesn't feel right and it feels as if hes not even my husband the way he acts sometimes"


You are a grown woman, no one have control over you but yourself. Anyone who does only has control because you allow them to have it. What is he going to do if you get a job? Treat you worse than he does now? That would take effort.